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21389. wabbit - 3/19/2007 8:51:26 PM Happy belated birthday, Patsy!
Who's up for a round of egg-balancing tonight? 21390. wabbit - 3/19/2007 9:06:05 PM Ulgine, I'm sorry to hear about your m-i-l. I'm fortunate that my parents are fairly healthy, but there are days...I try not to dwell on it and I count my blessings. 21391. wonkers2 - 3/19/2007 9:14:32 PM Egg balancing?? 21392. wabbit - 3/19/2007 9:32:30 PM Urban legend has it that you can balance an egg on end during the Vernal Equinox.
I think at the very least it's a good excuse for a party. 21393. TheWizardOfWhimsy - 3/19/2007 9:37:47 PM Is this some kind of yoke? 21394. thoughtful - 3/19/2007 9:40:24 PM No...it's an egg-scuse for a party.
Hate to crack anyone's shell, but you can balance an egg on any day of the week, not just on the equinoxes. 21395. iiibbb - 3/19/2007 11:46:48 PM Just a reminder to all my friends and enemies...
The 25 yr old son of one of the secretaries in my department just died in a house fire. One of the news items of the event indicated that the apartment (converted house) he was in either didn't have a smoke alarm, or it wasn't working.
So just a reminder...
1) Check your batteries
2) If your Smoke alarm is hardwired into you power, get a battery powered one.
3) If you don't have one at all... get one, even if you pay for it out of your own pocket.
4) While your at it get a carbon monoxide detector... especially if you have natural gas in your house.
What's worse that he died, is that he didn't die right away... so do us all a favor and do something to protect yourselves. 21396. alistairConnor - 3/19/2007 11:52:07 PM I just pushed the test button on my smoke detector. Haven't done that in a while.
I ran my car off the road just now. Coming back from town in a snow shower, the road was more slippery than I thought. Ran into a power pole. Broken plastic and bent radiator. 21397. judithathome - 3/19/2007 11:59:54 PM I can balance our eggs on their ends any time, anywhere...we eat Eggbeaters...they come in a box! 21398. jexster - 3/20/2007 2:52:35 AM Just got this viral email
Subject: Early Retirement
Dear Employee;
As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future .
Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the next fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
This program will be known as S.L.A.P. (Severance of Late-Aged Personnel).
Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.
SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program will be called S.C.R.E.W. (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Elderly Workers).
All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.
This appeal is called S.H.A.F.T. (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).
Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.
If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: H.E.R.P.E.S. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).
As H.E.R.P.E.S. and C.L.A.P. are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received H.E.R.P.E.S. or C.L.A.P. will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our: Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).
We take pride in the amount of S.H.I.T. our employees receive. We have given our employees more S.H.I.T. than any company in this area. If any employe e feels they do not receive enough S.H.I.T. on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the S.H.I.T. you can stand.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of loyal service with us!
The Management
21399. wonkers2 - 3/20/2007 2:55:08 AM Sounds like compassionate conservatism. 21400. Magoseph - 3/20/2007 2:24:12 PM Hello, everyone! 21401. alistairconnor - 3/20/2007 3:01:27 PM Hello Mago! How's your man? How's your newlywed boy? 21402. jexster - 3/20/2007 7:01:24 PM DAMN IT!
I thought I dibs on the boy...Wonk and I had a wedding all planned out...he was gonna wear his macaca outfit 21403. jexster - 3/20/2007 7:03:02 PM "Dear St. Anne, send me a man. If he lies or if he dies, please, Mary's mother, send me another." 21404. Magoseph - 3/20/2007 7:39:07 PM Ali, my man is very perky these days, glad that he came out of his many problems of last year. As for my boy, he and his wife are thinking of selling their house and upgrading to a better one--thinking of kiddies, they say.
How are your fiancée and your girls? 21405. arkymalarky - 3/21/2007 2:16:11 AM Holding my breath in hopes I don't get the raging stomach virus Mose has--that she realized she last night, after we ate out together and I used her fork. Her boyfriend's dealing with it now and she's beginning to get over it. 21406. alistairconnor - 3/21/2007 11:54:28 AM Arky table manners eh?
It's worse at my place. Eating off each other's fingers. 21407. alistairconnor - 3/21/2007 11:56:19 AM Mago,
Ah well there you go. I'm a bachelor again, and happy enough about that for the moment.
I won't say your question brought bad luck, but we broke up by email yesterday... It's been brewing a while.
The girls are excellent. 21408. Ms. No - 3/21/2007 3:37:29 PM Jude,
I wish I could come out, but it's not in the cards this year. I wish we weren't all so far away. Ah, well, maybe next year I'll be in a better position for travel. I've realized I cannot in any way shape or form lead a peaceful life if I don't have a certain amount of money coming in so I'm chucking the temp work and letting them place me in a permanent job where I can make enough money to actually support myself and put some away.
It means no full-time or even daytime school for a year or eighteen months, but I can still work toward my credential in the evenings and through proficiency tests. Plus, if I'm making real money I can put savings aside again so that when I'm ready to do the last semester of schooling I'll have some reserves and be able to either work very little or take out much less financial aid.
I'm still glad I came up here when I did and I'm happy with the way things have progressed so far, but I just didn't take into account how hard a hit I'd taken over the last two years what with the house and the lawsuit and the layoff and then moving to a "new" town without a real job and trying to go to school without financial aid (I was too late in the year to apply for it and then they said I made too much money because they were going off of 2yo tax returns).
So, the real job hunt begins. It shouldn't be too difficult to find something good. Another friend of mine who works in accounting put up her resume and had 14 interviews within the first two weeks. Apparently we're a hot commodity right now. Tax season, I guess.
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