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24023. judithathome - 5/2/2008 8:09:14 PM Apparently the things that I say during these discussions just indicate to her that I don't hear the things that she tells me... which just makes her angry.
Welcome to Marriage 101...it is and was ever thus. Men and women react differently to what they "hear" from one another. Usually, women hear far more from a man than what is actually said. Don't ever forget that and you might be able to weather this storm. 24024. judithathome - 5/2/2008 8:15:27 PM And I probably have no right to ask this or to assume it has bearing but whose career brings in the most money? To my eyes, that should be the one to defer to...sounds elitist, for sure, but if your career is very much specific and hard to settle in and makes the highest salary, and hers is less complicated and more easily accommodated, then I think the deference should be to you in the choices.
Feminists, back off and don't start the charcoal for roasting me alive...I will feel the same if her career path is the one most difficult.
Because, as Mick Jagger says, we don't always get what we want.
....sounding like Ulgine here! 24025. anomie - 5/2/2008 8:17:40 PM How true, Judith. Wish I'd really understood that when I was younger, but I had the attitude that I was always (well usually) right. And I probably was. But I was too unwise to know that sometimes it just didn't matter who was right. 24026. stamper2 - 5/2/2008 8:24:08 PM i figured it was ‘bout time I signified to you good folks I ain’t kicked the bucket-oh no I’m still just kicking life in the you know what jest like always and I want youse to know ole al davis is still more or less o.k. His big problem is he’s taken this election a mite to serious. He don’t cotton to any of the 3 of em. I keep telling him chill out man none of them is all that bad. it’s just like sack in the ‘90’s when old Bill was kicken up a bunch of fuss. For all the fussing about willie what ever came of it. Well i’m plum tuckered out with all this pavaler see ya later crocadile
24027. iiibbb - 5/2/2008 8:43:31 PM She's a statitician... she could make double what I make if she took the right(wrong) job.
As it is we've traded, but she has more flexibility and more income potential. I took this because it was a chance for me to get my foot in the door in the federal system.
Pay is one part of the equation. Flexibility is the second... but now the deal here has become poisoned. I'm not sure if I am in a position to try to work for stopgap. I think this has pushed her over the edge as far as going for her federal opportunity.
Whether I can work something out for myself is a big question mark. I am personally more willing to be a bad fit for a job in order for us to be together, but I have far less opportunities. My field can be pretty closed if you haven't worked in an area, it's hard to break into new areas.
This sucks. I didn't want to stay in this job forever, and planned for it to be a bridge to better opportunities, but this is going to really force me to pull the cord prematurely.
Hopefully her "connections" care enough about her working for them that they're going to canvas for me... but I get mixed signals on that front. 24028. anomie - 5/2/2008 9:29:02 PM I'm a rebel without a Costco mark. I bought one small item and saw the long check-receipt line at Costco, so I just started to walk past the line and out the door. This lady yells at me, "Sir! You have to get your receipt marked.". I pointed at the long line and said I wasn't waiting. She insisted and said that I was standing right next to the guy with the marker. Was she suggesting I cut in front of the long line? I pointed at the line, "I'm not waiting in THAT". And I walked right out. No alarms went off. No SWAT team converged on me. As I left, the woman hollared, "have a nice day!"
If she was an employee, she should have grabbed a marker and cut that line in half. 24029. stamper2 - 5/2/2008 9:39:02 PM i tried to put all this on inferno but no box to post. ireckon it's time to let you all to know i aint kicked the bucket but still kicking life in the you know where. and ole al da vis is pretty good to even if he is a mite troubled by all this election fuss. he don't cotton to any of these fine folks jest running there legs off for the presidente. mostly he's upset by this osama fellow. i don't really suspicion it's his race, which is hard to figure out since i here his mommie was white & his daddy an african. what got him all lathered up-ole al that is- is this rev. right. hell, i can't see sitting listening to that preacheer for 20 years had any effect. listening to preachers didn't have much effect on ole bill fer as i can see. well i'm plume tuckered out getten all this writ so so long fer now. i'll check on you all later 24030. anomie - 5/2/2008 10:49:37 PM So, what's hard to figure out about his race? Seems you got it figured. 24031. arkymalarky - 5/3/2008 1:30:37 AM Like a lot of other old people I know, I don't imagine he sounded so unreasonable 20 years ago. He's over 80. Plus, there are lots of valuable people in the world who say wacky shit.
Great to see you back, stunp!! 24032. robertjayb - 5/3/2008 2:47:31 AM Hey, arky...
Got storms? 24033. arkymalarky - 5/3/2008 3:16:15 AM Yes we did, as a matter of fact! Our prom is tonight, and a colleague was taking a couple of students from the high school building to the cafeteria, where the prom will be held, to see the decorations (they are AWESOME--no kidding), and as they headed out the door there was a tornado, still in the air, thankfully. So we all head off to the hall, to the immense irritation of the prom preparers and sponsors. It hit a couple of miles from the school, but fortunately didn't get any houses--just lots of trees. And the decorations got done in time, and Mose, who's a sponsor, called from there about thirty minutes ago and said it's a great success. 24034. arkymalarky - 5/3/2008 3:18:21 AM This is really not too uncommon a deal in our school in the last few years. Our global warming gas guzzling dollars at work, I guess. Five years ago a tornado warning was a rare and frightening thing. We're actually getting too complacent about them, imo. 24035. iiibbb - 5/3/2008 5:19:36 AM Hurricanes may become more prevalent with global warming, but tornadoes have been the same... at least according to the last thing I read. 24036. arkymalarky - 5/3/2008 2:01:45 PM I'm sure it varies place to place and time to time, but the last few years we've had more tornado warnings during school than all my other 20+ put together, for some reason. I do know from living in west TX that bad storms take consistent paths in various seasons--where the fronts track.
BTW, hang in there. Y'all are in a very transitional time because of your respective careers. It helps sometimes to get perspective from an objective source. Hope the Mote helps some in that regard. 24037. arkymalarky - 5/3/2008 2:07:19 PM We got a puppy-a male, cream/gray German shepard mix. I'm taking it to the vet today. Mose found EIGHT. We took one and one has been given away. The rest are at a friend's house near where we found them. They "caught" me checking on them for Mose and didn't recognize me, I guess, thought I'd dumped them and was evidently stupid enough to return to the scene of the crime, so he followed me home. We're helping them get rid of them, but I refuse to feel bad that they've got them and not us. We've certainly had more than our share of dumped dogs. We're trying to give them to students and my parents put an ad in the paper. I will put a card up at the vet when I take this one this morning.
What you have to look forward to when you're settled in your career and retirement planning instead of career planning, 3i3b:
Bob will not name his dog, I'm taking his dog to the vet, and I want him to come up with a name in the next thirty minutes or I'm going to name him whatever the hell I want. And I'm feeling very creative right now. 24038. arkymalarky - 5/3/2008 2:08:39 PM Bob's listening to Sirius on TV. The song "They Call Me the Breeze" just came on. Of course Bob said, "Just call him the breeze." I can't decide if he's funny, or just a jerk. 24039. judithathome - 5/3/2008 8:18:29 PM I love that name!! Breezy! 24040. judithathome - 5/3/2008 8:21:01 PM And hey, Stamper...howzit? Read back over my last few months of experience.(Not that many posts back...) Where ARE you now and how is Evie?
Tomorrow I enter my MediCare years and I must say, so far they've been treating me well. 24041. arkymalarky - 5/3/2008 9:47:50 PM We went to Jim's sister's art studio for his birthday today--hope you have a great birthday tomorrow!
And I wish I'd seen your post before heading to the vet--I named him Hobo. So now we have Hobo and Mojo and Mazie. 24042. wabbit - 5/4/2008 12:55:58 AM Hey all, good to see folks here. i3b3, I sure hope you can work things out. JaH, I must respectfully disagree about your salary thang, I think whoever has the most flexibility should defer to the one trying to get their foot in the door, especially when it looks like the salaries involved will ultimately both be pretty good. But that's just me.
Arky, all four of my cats are someone else's rejects. My oldest cat was dumped out of a car at about midnight in front of my house in NY the week before Thanksgiving. I heard a cat crying and went to my porch door, and she came charging, just happy to see anyone. It was fairly warm that night, luckily enough, so I put food and water out and figured if she was there the next morning, we'd see what was what. She had an enormous open wound on one hind leg (I guessed a ruptured abcess) and the muscle was separated down to the bone, but it was clean and not infected. I called the vet and got her some antibiotics and said her name was Stray Cat. By the time I took her in for a rabies shot a few weeks later, her name had morphed into Lumpenchat which became Chubba for the language impaired, and the vet folks were happy to make the change. The moral of the story is, if Hobo doesn't stick, go with whatever does.
But please, no Golden Balls.
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