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24218. arkymalarky - 7/3/2008 9:38:53 PM Congrats on getting through that stage--hope y'all don't have many more. Are y'all about to move now, or down the road? 24219. iiibbb - 7/3/2008 9:51:02 PM Ethically, I feel I have to stay here a year (there is also the matter of having to pay the moving money back if I leave too soon).... but still I'm not even going to look until October.
After that I will start to look in earnest New England way. There is a certain likelihood that P's going to get an offer up there, and they want her bad enough that should that offer come (November or so) they can wait up to a year before she'll have to move.
There is one bureaucratic hurdle that she must pass which is why I'm not counting my chickens yet.
It might get tough for me, but whatever... I took a chance coming here... I can take a chance going there. I'm probably better equipped to deal with the uncertainty than she is. My federal hiring status will last about 3 years from the day I leave this job... so that will give me a bit of a cushion, and my foot in the door for jobs up that way. 24220. iiibbb - 7/3/2008 9:52:08 PM If we both land federal jobs... there won't be any moving for quite a while. My brother lives up there, and we'll be close to NYC so we can visit her parents regularly... using the train even.
I'm worried if we both don't land something solid because the cost of living is going to be a little crazy. 24221. arkymalarky - 7/3/2008 10:59:48 PM True, but y'all don't have kids and you have family support. 24222. judithathome - 7/4/2008 2:39:23 PM AND, not having to re-pay the moving expense is a really big deal...my husband is in the moving business and the stories he tells of how much cost is involved in a move are staggering. 24223. judithathome - 7/4/2008 2:40:19 PM Have a great Fourth of July, Americans! 24224. judithathome - 7/9/2008 1:52:37 PM Magos, where ARE you? 24225. magoseph - 7/9/2008 3:30:20 PM We were kidnapped last Friday and forced to have fun. At home and barely alive, we are now recuperating. Will call you this afternoon. 24226. thoughtful - 7/10/2008 1:26:21 PM Can't go wrong in old new england. Don't know if it's because I've lived here all my life, but I can't imagine living anywhere else. Visiting, sure, but living? No way. Life here is a wonderful balance...enough winter, enough spring, enough summer, enough fall. No hurricanes, except occasionally, no tornadoes, except occasionally, no earthquakes, except occasionally, no brush fires, except occasionally, adequate rain except occasionally...you get the picture.
 24227. magoseph - 7/11/2008 11:35:06 PM Took this from Random--we can't be that stupid,
now can we?
24228. wonkers2 - 7/12/2008 3:45:13 AM Incredible! 24229. judithathome - 7/12/2008 2:56:01 PM WE aren't that stupid but a lot of people living around us ARE. I've been saying this all along and it is why I don't trust the electorate in this country to know what's best one whit.
But seriously, samplings from any country in the world could turn up that many ignorant assholes. 24230. thoughtful - 7/12/2008 5:32:55 PM As George Carlin put it, think about how dumb the average guy is and then realize that half of the world is dumber than that!
So much for our vaunted educational system! 24231. arkymalarky - 7/12/2008 6:24:23 PM Education cures ignorance, not stupidity. 24232. judithathome - 7/13/2008 3:45:16 PM Great point! 24233. judithathome - 7/14/2008 4:08:11 AM Arky, let me know if there's anything you want from here when we come for the weekend in August.
Sadly, they don't have the chocolate straws you like at the commisary any longer. 24234. arkymalarky - 7/14/2008 5:41:19 PM Oh, that's fine. I seem to have gotten over them and pixy stix. Just yourselves will be fantastic! 24235. iiibbb - 7/20/2008 9:45:40 AM The shit is hitting the fan again.
I'm getting tired of this. I am frustrated and depressed and at a loss of what to do. There's nothing I can do really. She's depressed and can't deal with this anymore. There's at lot of transference onto me, but my capacity to deal with it is shot. Can't talk to her about it because all she tells me is A) "I don't want to talk about it", B)"I can't help you because I knew this was a bad idea coming here"
I can't talk to others about it because of the nature of some of these problems she wants to keep private.
So I am stuck. My wife is beyond the end of her rope. I'm pretty close to the end of mine. I love her. She loves me. We're working on getting out of here... but we're stuck in these moments until it can be made to happen. 24236. wonkers2 - 7/20/2008 3:02:06 PM Sounds like a real rough patch. Hang in there. Sometimes it can be a mistake to press for a solution when one isn't apparent or within immediate reach. Take a deep breath and back off if you can. 24237. arkymalarky - 7/20/2008 5:29:37 PM That's true. And a third outside party can really help if you're both open to counseling. That's what sent Bob back to school to become a math teacher. And we went because I was having stress because the school I was working in was shut down by the state and Bob was in a job he hated. Since my dad was a professor he had a friend in the psychology dept who had a practice on the side, and he was a great help, testing us about our interests and concerns and working with us through where we were stuck to beyond it, so we began to move forward again. Mose was just a toddler back then, and Bob went back to school when she was about three or four. And none of us starved, nothing fell apart, and we're still together. Fear of the unknown is the most paralyzing types of fear, and counseling for us clarified that and helped us move forward with a plan and without a fear of doing it. It was hard living on my meager income ($13,700 a year) for four and a half years, but it was worth it.
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