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12388. christipeters - 11/30/2004 7:58:19 PM Jen - Never mind, I've found a place up here in my lil ole town 12389. thoughtful - 11/30/2004 11:16:37 PM time to carp.
woman from another department wanted to deliver a simple message that should i do x again, please let her know.
That would've been the nice way, the cooperative way. Instead she chose the "I talked to my vp and i'm supposed to be coordinating all of that and if you do it again it must be coordinated through me and if you do it again and my boss hears about it from someone other than me, there's going to be big trouble."
Mind you i don't report to this woman, work for this woman, have any relationship with her vp (i report to a sr vp who could eat her vp's lunch) and had already included her in "x" out of a spirit of cooperation.
So I said absolutely nothing. (She of course dumped this on me when we just walked into a meeting with lots of other people around...not the time for an in-depth discussion.) When people hit me with stuff like that, I really fear that if I open my mouth I will explode, so the only way I can control my anger is to say nothing. Not the best response, certainly not the most satisfying. Then I'm left with 'shoulda saids' and lots of pondering about how I will handle it the next time I run into this woman.
If the opportunity arises, I will probably tell her, as a way of 'coaching' and helping her improve her management style, that following up in the spirit of cooperation, which is where we started, would've been a far better approach than threats and blatent attempts at power grabs.
Really disappointing because I know this woman from many years ago, and cooperation was her stock in trade. The vp she's working for, as someone else described her, would eat her own children. It looks as though the vp's management style is rubbing off. Call it the "abu graib school of management". 12390. thoughtful - 11/30/2004 11:27:04 PM I do wish i had the presence of mind and grace of jackie o to handle situations like that better.
I always remember the story of how she invited martha stewart to a party. Martha showed up exceedingly late with no apologies. Jackie's response was to never again get martha's name right...Oh, hello Margot.
I would've loved to respond immediately with something like, "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention...did you just say something useful?"
I'm open to suggestions. 12391. Ms. No - 11/30/2004 11:40:01 PM Hmmm...tough call. You don't want to antagonize her and cause headaches for yourelf but at the same time she misspoke and should know it -- especially if she wants any kind of cooperation from you in future.
Perhaps just plain speaking would work. "I'm happy to keep you in the loop if you need. Did I do something to make you think threats of dire consequences were required to gain my cooperation? I'm not nearly so scary as all that, surely."
12392. Ms. No - 11/30/2004 11:40:50 PM I've been known to ask people if they're having a particularly stressful day --- leave them an out for their rudeness. 12393. thoughtful - 11/30/2004 11:49:37 PM Hmmm. I like your suggestion as it gets right to the heart of the issue, while allowing me to retain control...responding to her choice of communication style without challenging her message. Only problem is, it takes more presence of mind than I have when my bp is rising! I guess I need to practice that.
I was sorely tempted to respond, "Don't worry, if I do 'x' again, you will never hear about it." But that's not where I want to go with this.
Mind you, it's not like what i did was a bad thing...in fact it was a good thing and something they wish they'd done first...thus the attempt at a power grab.
But you're right, if they feel threatened by me, they really have problems.
And I really want to make the point to her that just because her boss' s.o.p. is to tear people new ones doesn't mean it's the best way to do things in this company. I think it would serve her well in the future to appreciate that. 12394. thoughtful - 11/30/2004 11:52:18 PM I like that stressful day one too...universally applicable. 12395. Magoseph - 11/30/2004 11:54:24 PM ... her boss' s.o.p
What's that, toughtful? 12396. thoughtful - 11/30/2004 11:55:14 PM sop= standard operating procedure...an army thing i think 12397. Magoseph - 11/30/2004 11:58:49 PM Thank you, thoughtful. 12398. judithathome - 12/1/2004 1:55:45 AM Here are three of my 1930s-40s dress clips...not really very clear but I wasn't operating the camera.
Dress clips
And some of my rhinestone pieces: rhinestone pins
Here are some colored ones with intersting shapes: colored stones
And finally, some more colored stones: more colored stones
Oops! One more...these are pins with carved stones called Tutti Frutti; they are Keoni's faves because of the carving that goes into them: Tutti Frutti 12399. wonkers2 - 12/1/2004 3:18:44 AM Mago, nice of you to ask. We had dinner at Cactus with my younger son and his beautiful new financee. 12400. thoughtful - 12/1/2004 3:25:31 AM J@h,those are just lovely.
I have a bunch of rhinestone stuff from MIL but it seems almost every one is missing a stone or 2 ... are these something that can be repaired? Do you know who would do it? 12401. Magoseph - 12/1/2004 12:16:54 PM Won, I wonder if Abs tried this restaurant. We have one here in Lake Geneva. My DIL wants to go there next time we go to the hairdresser. Tell me, how was your food?
Hello, Mac and Ali. We had snow last night, not much, only a couple of inches. 12402. Macnas - 12/1/2004 12:41:21 PM Hello Mago. It's getting steadily colder here, 'though snow is doubtful.
We are getting many strange bird migrations here at present, such as flights of Ruddy duck and the like, where as before we might only have seen a few pairs now and then.
Also, Snipe and Woodcock numbers are well up. I don't know what this means, but it could mean a very hard winter ahead. 12403. alistairconnor - 12/1/2004 12:51:30 PM How about peeling onions? That's the local folk wisdom about predicting a hard winter here : either they peel easier or they don't, I can't remember which.
There's also the "white man chop much wood" school. Modernised : the price of fuel oil is high, so winter will be high. 12404. alistairconnor - 12/1/2004 12:53:30 PM Our inch or two of snow from the night before last is still on the ground - temperatures around zero, roads icy in places. I picked up my snow tyres last night, so I'm feeling a bit safer.
Remind me to post some pictures of the "real" Lake Geneva, Mago -- from this summer's bike trip. 12405. Magoseph - 12/1/2004 3:47:16 PM Oh, I will, Ali--I wonder how this place near us, on Lake Michigan, ever got its name. My paper is late--I get aggravated if I can't solve my brain ticklers, especially if I can't go outside.
Mac, Flexy noted the same about unusual birds in this area, a while ago, and he wondered about a harsh winter too.
12406. judithathome - 12/1/2004 4:00:57 PM Thoughtful, call a local antiques mall or store and ask if they have any costume jewelry dealers. Then ask for their phone #s and call and see if they either DO repair or know someone who does.
The woman I buy from has her husband do repairs..he is quite good and has a ton of loose stones of every color. Probably dealers in your neck of the woods do, too. 12407. christipeters - 12/1/2004 4:12:33 PM judith - You know, I adore each and every one of those pieces. I still get compliments on the pieces you gave me after we were robbed and I was jewelry-less. I love wearing them.
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