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22748. iiibbb - 10/24/2007 2:35:51 PM Thanks everyone--
I'm not sure if there is a foreighn word for "feeling bad for feeling bad".
I know that I should be happier and grateful for a dual hire. People have worse problems than me. But trying to balance what my wife wants with reality has been hard to do.
There are only three or four things I just don't like about this place... which is no more than a lot of places I love.
The key will be meeting some nice people to socialize with. So far not a lot of progress on that.
But you're right. Just like the what got me here, I can only play the hand I have now, so there's no point in getting stressed. I will say buying a house is easing a lot of that stress. I'm pretty excited about the prospects of owning the place I live. I'm really looking forward to gardening... we have almost an acre. All this natural resources education and I've never been able to use it to grow something for myself. 22749. judithathome - 10/24/2007 5:20:03 PM Does anyone know what area Patsy R lives in? I'm worried about her and now I'm worried about my sister who was writing me all day yesterday about seeing the fires approaching...then, today, no emails from her. She was packed and ready to bolt last night!
And this morning I was carrying a cup of hot coffee out to the porch to get the newspaper and I dropped the damned cup on my bad foot...didn't have the cast on yet...and scalded the top of my foot. Now I can't put the cast on, it hurts so much. Which means I will miss the jazz concert tonight...
One good thing: the cup was an old diner china cup from the 1930s and that little sucker bounced a big one off the concrete and didn't even CHIP! They really knew how to make things back in the day! 22750. judithathome - 10/24/2007 5:22:09 PM 3i3b, glad you two found a house you like and don't worry about meeting people...you will! That's what the south is all about...friendly folks.
Maybe your wife will eventually find another job she likes better than this one...it could happen! 22751. iiibbb - 10/24/2007 7:33:53 PM The job she got is her dream job (at least on paper). She has a slightly bad attitude about giving this place a chance... but it is not without some merit. Neither of us are pleased about being far from family and friends. We've been talking kids, and she's giving up a lot in the way of her support network... although some of that would've happened no matter where we move.
I dunno. I have no idea what's going to happen, and this sort-of snuck up on us. I wasn't expecting that it'd be my only offer and that it would include a job for her.
It's mostly the location she doesn't like. 22752. iiibbb - 10/24/2007 7:34:54 PM Which is why buying a home makes sense, even in a crappy market. Having somewhere that is truly your space can go a long ways toward making a location livable. 22753. arkymalarky - 10/25/2007 12:21:32 AM That's true, and it's nice you've got some land with it. 22754. wonkers2 - 10/25/2007 12:58:43 AM iiibbb, I don't want to sound preachy, but your bride should look at the positive side. Plenty of people have endured similar moves or worse. My mother moved from teaching in a one-room school near Valentine, Nebraska to Aruba after marrying my father. Her mother moved from Kansas City by covered wagon to homestead in the Nebraska Sand Hills. She lived in a sod house on the homestead for a year with four kids, age two to 14 while my grandfather stayed in Kansas City until he sold his dairy and joined her. They arrived on the homestead in October just in time to build a sod house one side of which was the covered wagon. By the time my grandfather died at 89 he had accumulated 15,000 acres of Sand Hills ranch land. They had a rough time during the Great Depression but never gave up. My grandfather was a tenacious son-of-a-bitch. And my grandmother was equally tenacious. I can never recall hearing her complain about anything. Ditto for my mother although she told tales about how bitter cold it was riding horseback 5 miles to and from the schoolhouse where she taught grades 1-8. [I don't mean to minimize the adjustment you are undergoing, iiibbb!] 22755. jexster - 10/25/2007 1:01:29 AM Sod head 22756. wonkers2 - 10/25/2007 1:03:58 AM My most difficult adjustment was going to three different schools in the first grade and then moving to Baton Rouge where I encountered the three next door neighbor girls the oldest of which, a playmate of Jex no doubt, greeted me warmly with "My momma says you're a damn yankee!" For a while it went down hill from there. 22757. jexster - 10/25/2007 1:09:03 AM I3...had the same experience in Los Angeles..and I STILL HATE LA...I left after 2 years of it.
But wherever you are cannot be remotely as grimy as Los Angeles. Anyway by the time I left I had all kinds of friends...Still hated it
Esp now..literally as well as figuratively
This from a friend in Laguna Niguel (OC near Irvine)
It looks like a cloudy or rainy day today, totally overcast everywhere you look. But of course it isn't. Those high "clouds" are the smoke blowing up here from San Diego. Since everybody was hosing his house down yesterday, Ryan said he'll bring a few beers from the bar to damp down my place. Then I guess we could damp down ourselves with the leftovers. Fire dangers around the region diminishing today though. TeeVee said the high clouds of smoke are so bad, the national radar is mistaking it for rainclouds.
X - Los Angeles
22758. wonkers2 - 10/25/2007 2:19:16 AM I'd rather be a sod-head than a dick-head. 22759. iiibbb - 10/25/2007 2:27:12 AM Message # 22754
You're right that she'd be better off thinking positive. But it's a 2 PhD family and her degrees is the type she can pretty much name a location and get a job there... mine I have to follow a bit (at least on the first job). That's the rub.
I think a lot of the friction is because we're leaving somewhere we love and have some really deep roots. Makes it a bit tougher.
I already feel guilty allowing myself to have moments where I feel bad. In the grand scheme of things this situation kicks butt. Once she moves here permanently (she hasn't moved yet) perhaps the place will grow on her. Right now she's still seeing every day what she's giving up... 22760. jexster - 10/25/2007 2:47:02 AM Friggin sod buster
Man of the Corn
Here's another Mago...along the lines of John Fred
Give it up for STEVE WINWOOD - Spencer Davis Group
22761. jexster - 10/25/2007 2:48:09 AM Not U i3..that Moron of Michigan...via CornDog NE 22762. jexster - 10/25/2007 2:51:30 AM I encountered the three next door neighbor girls the oldest of which, a playmate of Jex no doubt, greeted me warmly with "My momma says you're a damn yankee!"
 22763. prolph - 10/25/2007 5:50:47 AM patsy still has a house
and other fortunate tales i'm too tired to tell
22764. alistairconnor - 10/25/2007 9:29:37 AM Ah good to hear from you Patsy!
Your little troubles made the national news in France.
Could have been worse. Could have been the Peloponnesian. 22765. wonkers2 - 10/25/2007 3:14:58 PM A welcome ray of sunshine, Patsy! 22766. wabbit - 10/25/2007 3:47:49 PM Great news, Patsy! 22767. judithathome - 10/25/2007 9:36:36 PM Patsy, great news! My sister is in Temecula and she has been packed and ready to bolt...says it is much better today.
Are you anywhere near there? If so, she said maybe the two of you could meet up sometime.
She lurks here at times and feels she knows y'all...I've asked her to post. Maybe she will one of these days.
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