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23358. arkymalarky - 1/11/2008 11:44:08 PM He wasn't one until he got a new car, Alistair. 23359. arkymalarky - 1/11/2008 11:46:43 PM I can see the whole scene, Judith. Perfect Keoni story! 23360. anomie - 1/13/2008 1:59:38 AM Ah if only I could dance! I'd have to chase the women away with a stick. Of course I'd also have to be a little better looking...maybe a bit more charmimg...richer...groomed some. But hey, dancing would be a start. 23361. anomie - 1/13/2008 2:02:30 AM Sorry about your accident Arky. I was hit from behind by a woman in South Carolina. It wasn't her fault or mine. I was exiting a freeway and noticed at the last minute that there was no merge lane onto the road. The exit ramp went right into a lane. So my sudden stop surprised the woman behind me. A mere tap, but it cost over 800 dollars for my car. 23362. arkymalarky - 1/13/2008 9:42:14 PM Thanks Anomie. This one was every bit my fault. No telling how much my car will cost. I have $500 deductible, but I don't know how much my insurance will go up. I've had my first speeding ticket and my first wreck (other than parking dents) since I turned 45. I'll be a total menace by the time I'm 60 at this rate. 23363. wonkers2 - 1/13/2008 9:59:06 PM OK Arky as long as you weren't talking on your cell phone! 23364. arkymalarky - 1/13/2008 10:21:52 PM Haha! Amazingly I wasn't. I have a blue-tooth headset in the car, but haven't been using it. Despite the fact it wasn't a factor, I'm going to use it now. 23365. judithathome - 1/14/2008 5:46:49 PM We went over to our friends' house to watch football yesterday and then out to dinner with them. Both their son and my son joined us there. Had a great time It was about 8pm and very dark when we got home.
The electricity was off yesterday afternoon for awhile...about 2 1/2 hours just as it was the day before. Never occured to me to reset the timers on my lamps...which means we came home to a pitch black house and as a result, I didn't see Keoni's brief case in my path (
i great
place to leave it, in any situation, right where someone is going to be walking in the room) and so I FELL over it and though I didn't break any bones, miraculously, my face smashed into the Oriental rug and slid forward so much that I now have
i carpet burns
on it. Yes, half my forehead, the bridge of my nose, and the top part of my upper lip are
i burned.
My forehead also has a huge bump. And my glasses are bent to the point they sit crooked on my face...making the invisible bifocal function a lot of fun.
Thank God I didn't fall into the Stickley chair and break my entire face on the hard oak frame. Instead, my face ended up
i under
it.
This is one fall I can't blame on the cat...I could SEE her in the dark! 23366. jexster - 1/14/2008 7:26:58 PM Email from Louisiana
You gotta love this lawyer....... it's too good not to share!
Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this. A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which
took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
(Actual letter):
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.
While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S. , from France in 1803,the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France , which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain .
The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus ' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana . God,therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"
The loan was approved. 23367. thoughtful - 1/14/2008 8:13:14 PM Ouch Judith...you've had more than a run of bad things...time to get some new karma! 23368. Ms. No - 1/14/2008 8:19:26 PM Owie.....well, at least you can make up good stories about rug burns....you don't happen to have them on your elbows as well, do you? 23369. thoughtful - 1/14/2008 8:55:04 PM very funny, jex
23370. arkymalarky - 1/15/2008 12:37:11 AM Damn, Judith! That's miserable. 23371. wonkers2 - 1/15/2008 12:48:37 AM I sympathize, Judith. Last week in a hurry to catch a plane I walked into our half open, heavy, wooden garage door and ended up with a big lump on my forehead which is still tender. Fortunately no blood. I applied ice wrapped in a dish rag most of the way to the airport. 23372. judithathome - 1/15/2008 1:24:19 AM Actually, the way my face looks now made an excellent excuse for declining an invitation to a party we didn't wish to attend next weekend. Heh.
Wonkers, do you think it's our age? I kniw I'm older than you are but is THIS what I have to look forward to from here on out? 23373. judithathome - 1/15/2008 1:25:32 AM Jex, I would comment on your excellently funny post about God and Louisana but I know you don't read anything by me....ha! 23374. wonkers2 - 1/15/2008 6:54:12 PM Judith, what makes you think you're older than I am? I remember very clearly the day FDR died. 23375. judithathome - 1/15/2008 9:00:17 PM Well, maybe I'm not older than you are...I'm 64. I remember having to learn to spell Eisenhower when he was elected. I was 2 when FDR died. Actually, one month short of two.
I recall things from ages 3 and 5 but not 2...and I'm not so sure I'm recalling stuff from 3 and 4 so much as recalling my parents telling stuff about what I did at that age. 23376. judithathome - 1/15/2008 9:01:16 PM Should be 3 and 4 in both instances...sheesh.
I remember everything from age 5! 23377. thoughtful - 1/15/2008 9:37:53 PM My earliest memories were from when I was 2 1/2 and traumatized by my tonsillectomy...being in a ward in the hospital, too young to understand what was happening. I remember so clearly being wheeled into the operating room with a guy shining the big light in my face. I also remember being parked on the side of the hallway for awhile, watching people go by. I remember the nurse taking the sheet off my crib while I was still in it and wondering why.
And my poor dear parents. It required an overnight stay and at that time parents weren't allowed to stay over with the children. My parents just kept telling me they'd be back to get me in the morning, when the sun shined. As luck would have it, it rained the next day, no sun, so I thought I was abandoned.
And I still remember the clown doll they gave me when I left the hospital...it was left out in the rain and it melted. (MacArthur park redux?)
I guess it explains a lot about me!
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