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25461. alistairconnor - 7/28/2009 3:06:36 PM My girlfriend is from Tetouan, near Ceuta, Casablanca etc. She's complaining about the weather there, 45°C and muggy. She's complaining about her family too, but that's what we visit our families for, after all.
I haven't been there with her yet... I feel we should be married first (to respect the feelings of her parents!)
We're both in our forties, but her mother scolds her for living in sin. 25462. wabbit - 7/28/2009 4:20:03 PM Hey DanD, good to see you!
Congratulations iiibbb, that's great news! 25463. judithathome - 7/29/2009 9:27:42 PM Arky, we're shooting for leaving around 6 or 6:30am tomorrow...we should get there pretty early in the day. If y'all have things to do, we can kill time on that wonderful porch until you get back... 25464. arkymalarky - 7/29/2009 10:09:48 PM Great! Can't wait! 25467. Ms. No - 7/30/2009 10:11:00 PM oooooh! toys? 25468. Ms. No - 7/30/2009 10:11:15 PM
now? 25469. Ms. No - 7/30/2009 10:20:00 PM REPOST OF MISSING POSTS (I couldn't figure out how to turn off the italics)
25465. robertjayb - 7/30/2009 10:02:56 AM
Sigh....
July 30--Thanks to Mark H. for letting us know that the Texas Board of Ignorance, errr Education, has decided that history is what they say it is ---
United Farmworkers founder César Chávez is an unfitting role model for students, and former Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall is not an appropriate historical figure. So say “expert reviewers” in their report to the Texas State Board of Education, which recommends removing the two U.S. leaders from the social studies curriculum taught to its 4.7 million public school students.
I don't know what the big deal is here. I mean, if you let little minority kids know that they, too, can make a difference in the world, then the next thing you know, they'll start thinking they can be President or something. This dangerous trend must be stopped
(via kissmybigbluebutt.com)
25466. Ms. No - 7/30/2009 12:10:32 PM
i3b3 -- congratulations!!!
Dan --- good to see you! How many kiddos do you guys have now?
Robert - that's absolutely outrageous. 25470. iiibbb - 7/31/2009 4:29:10 PM We got our house in MS rented.
Now I just have to figure out insurance... I'm not sure if it's going to go up or down. 25471. alistairconnor - 7/31/2009 5:06:52 PM Did I mention I've got a house to sell too?
In France, no question of getting more tenants in, because they get a three-year lease and you can't get rid of them if they don't want to go... I've already got one tenant with two years left on his lease, I'll try to work out a deal with him to buy the lease back. As long as he agrees to stay until the sale goes through! If he left now, I'd be in a hell of a fix, because selling could take forever.
I got the valuation this week, bitterly disappointing but not surprising. The place is too big, and too awkwardly located, to sell based on its living space... so I'll probably have to sell it for the same price as a much smaller place. 25472. iiibbb - 7/31/2009 6:29:34 PM We're better off renting a year. It's not covering our mortgage, but if we can sell it next year for our current asking price, it's better than selling it today for 10,000 less (although I would've taken that).
It's even in our lease they have to keep the house in showable condition during the active sales season (Mar-July).
25473. alistairconnor - 7/31/2009 10:47:28 PM Yeah well I missed the season...
There is a second, minor season, October/November. So I'll try to work all the angles for that time frame. It will probably have to wait for next year, but it will be a real burden from the family angle. Financially too. (really I'm just looking forward to living full-time with my girlfriend. And running one household instead of two. We will be so rich.) 25474. iiibbb - 8/1/2009 12:17:27 AM If it weren't for my inlaws we wouldn't have been able to do any of this. They've kept us afloat during this transition, and I look forward to casting off that line.
I hate to imagine what we would have had to do (probably live apart) if it weren't for them. 25475. rdbrewer - 8/1/2009 11:54:05 AM So, a while back I mentioned it had been a tough five years. Over the last few months, I've recounted the stuff at Ace's place. But I pretty much restricted that to things revolving around my marriage. But not completely. Prior to that? In '04 I lost 200 pounds. No shit. It nearly croaked me. I had gotten that heavy because it was much easier to not worry about relationships. Why? See Ace's. Dad was an NPD. Nuked a few marriages. Worthiness problems. So. When I lost the weight, like I said at Ace's, apparently I was fairly attractive. After battling an onslaught of women and physiological problems--resulting in interpersonal problems*--I met the nerd-woman of my dreams. Or so I thought. I am terminally honest, and early-on, I told her what I hated: in short, personality disorder suffering people. I'm co-dependent, and they have a way of finding me out. And they have a way of ruining my life. Anyway. She hid it. She was an MD and was able to hide a thing I'm extremely tuned-into. BPD, DID, PTSD, NPD, and OCD, in order of severity. I got nuked. The "alter" I married was not the alter in the driver's seat at the end. Simply because I started to assert healthy interpersonal boundaries.
Oh, well. I made basic mistakes. Trusting in an obnoxious way. Signing things over. I must have had a bullseye painted on my forehead. And "co-dependency" turns out to be a movement. So, if you're a conscienscious person and you try to do your best, you might have been sucked in by co-dependency theory. Mistake. What they teach is almost sociopathic. In trying to do my best--denying my urge to put an arm around her instead putting a foot in her ass--I exploded the underlying pathology. That doesn't seem to be fair. Anyway. I've done so much moving forward without help, it's hard to get up again. At this age. I've waited too long. Seems like.
*I had always been described by friends and associates as "phlegmatic." Completely independently. Always. No one could have ever described me as phlegmatic over the last five years. 25477. rdbrewer - 8/1/2009 11:59:10 AM Oh, fuck, I hate that. I just hit "refresh." It double posted, and I don't even feel better.
On the chix thing: They have been aggressive. I love to dance. I had to stop about four or five months ago. Two chix got into an argument about who "talked to" me first. I was mortified. Never went back. I was just dancing to take my mind off things. 25478. alistairconnor - 8/1/2009 12:22:23 PM Interesting parallels, RD.
Worthiness problems, co-dependence. Magnet for women with issues.
Except that nobody ever fought about dancing with me. I'm a lousy dancer.
(BPD, DID, PTSD, NPD, and OCD I don't get. PTSD yes, I can't decipher the others.) 25479. rdbrewer - 8/1/2009 12:56:33 PM Alistair, I've studied that stuff informally for 25 years. And, routinely, it's obvious I know more than MD's. And, think about it. I've studied it. They took a class in med school. But. They're MD's. That carries with it a certain amount of arrogance. It's like this: I studied Family Law (made an "A") and Property ("A") in law school. I never practiced in those areas, though. And I don't know a damned thing about them. Nothing. My ex, who has had three divorces, knew much more than me. She was able to prepair. But. You meet an MD--and keep in mind, everyone they meet is bowing and saying "oh, great doctor, you are great, and please save me"--and you get someone who is so full of shit, their eyes are brown. I know more about psych in my middle finger than all of them do in their entire brains--all except those who specialize in the area. I'll tell you that, as a lawyer, I've had the opportunity to meet hundreds of doctors, and many, many are too confident. In general. It's almost laughable at times. In fact, the ex and I would laugh and laugh after seminars--pretty much every one. Some doctor would, inevitably, go on about how s/he combined this and that medication (totally unscientifically, yet totally unknown to them) and they got this and that incredible medical result. Of course, they were shot down in short order, but they appeared in every seminar. They're all over. And I mention them because they're the extreme. Most are like my ex: "I took a class in psych, so I can comment on psychological disorders." Wrong. She's an internist. She needs to stick to internal medicine.
When it comes to psych issues, she'd be better off giving me a call. Heck, I was quoting the DSM-IV to her. But if you're god's gift to medicine, you don't need to consult the accumilated body of knowledge on the subject. One time she said "It comes out every year; that's the only reason it's DSM-IV." Wrong. The IV has been out since, like, the early 80's.
But I don't blame them. I'd get a big head too if everyone was bowing to me simply because I was wearing a white coat. 25481. rdbrewer - 8/1/2009 1:00:07 PM SHIT! I did it again.
Alistair, fix this place. For goddsakes. 25482. wabbit - 8/1/2009 2:29:11 PM rdb, sorry to hear all this. I'm also not long out of a bad marriage to a manipulative conniving liar. 'Nuff said.
I'll remove the duplicate posts. 25483. Ms. No - 8/1/2009 11:55:41 PM rdb,
Really sorry to hear about the nastiness but congratufuckinglations on the weight-loss! That's a great accomplishment and I hope that you're able to enjoy that freedom in the midst of all the crap. 25484. rdbrewer - 8/2/2009 7:52:06 AM I miss you guys.
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