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25858. judithathome - 1/12/2010 4:08:20 PM Congrats on the new baby!
Trust me, it will all work out just fine...this is the "first" baby. By the time th second one rolls around, your wife will be much less tense about things.
Back in the day, women my age were actually dissuaded from breast feeding. And forget pre-made formula...we "cooked" our own with canned condensed milk and Karo syrup. Worked out just fine for an entire generation of kiddos.
And in Hawaii, kids who have digestive problems or nursing problems drink a thin gruel-type mixture made of poi...they're called "poi babies" and they thrive exceedingly well. 25859. vonKreedon - 1/12/2010 10:49:00 PM 13b3 - Congrats! Oy, I'm soooo glad it's not me.
And yeah, do what's best for everyone, not just the baby. If the parents are miserable the baby's not going to be optimally happy. 25860. iiibbb - 1/13/2010 2:49:07 AM So I'm 20% irrationally worried about the follow up dr's appointment tomorrow. The boy has pooped and peed, but not a ton yet.
My friend gave me the advice that as long as he's acting "normal" then he probably is... and he seems normal... at least the appointment is in the morning.
I'm worked up probably more than I should be. 25861. arkymalarky - 1/13/2010 5:25:50 AM It's such an odd thing to have this new little entity you've never had, so know nothing about. Your posts really bring back memories. I was a lot like that. Bob's mom had four kids and she was unflappable, but Bob was gone nights and that was tough. He took time off as much as he could, but that wasn't much, but that was probably just as well, though he was better with Mose than I was--still is.
I hate to tell you, but irrational worry may become a recurring condition. Mose works with me and the other day she had a workshop and I forgot, and I was in a panic when she didn't show up for work and didn't answer her phone. Of course she just loves it when I do stuff like that. ;-> 25862. arkymalarky - 1/13/2010 5:27:14 AM I'm in a workshop for two days, btw, and I'm enjoying a nice hotel room and wi-fi. Life is good. 25863. iiibbb - 1/13/2010 6:17:47 AM I'm upset because my wife keeps saying that our son is "ruined". She's mad at the dr. for introducing formula wihtout options. Broden does seem to be having a harder time with her breasts, but the lactation consultant sure seemed optimistic that eventually we could work through this... it'll just take time.
I'm not sure I entirely understand my wife's mistrust of modern medicine. She's really bummed about the formula and bottle thing.
I wnat her to have the fulfillment and everything... but she's being a little irrational. Formula isn't going to kill the baby. 25864. iiibbb - 1/13/2010 6:21:13 PM Broden has gained half the wieght he lost in just 2 days.
We saw the pediatrician today. Going into the appointment my wife was still a little mad at her about the formula. P's been stressed because Broden has been in a "food coma" for 2 days and almost completely ignores her breasts right now. I said the Dr. was probably most concerned with getting a baby that'd lost 10% of his weight back on track. He had not peed any significant amount for a couple of days and has only just started bowel movements again.
So he's up 1/2 lb and 1/2 lb to go to birthweight... stress is off a little
Dr. said that the "food comas" was because he's devoting all of these calories to getting the birthweight back. In a couple of days we can start backing off the formula to get him to take to the breast a little more aggressively. The Dr. thinks at that time he'll go back to rooting and should get back to the breast with a little coaching.
P may not have handled this crisis with much aplomb, but she picked some really good people to work with.
25865. vonKreedon - 1/13/2010 9:03:05 PM My remembrance from 16 years ago is that it is normal for new born to lose weight in the first week. 25866. iiibbb - 1/13/2010 11:01:18 PM Not 10%... 10% is like starving to death.... plus he was not doing #1 or #2. He's gained 1/3 of what he lost back, so at least he's going in the right direction now.
He's doing #1 pretty regular now, and no more discoloration. He's had a couple of #2's and more should be on their way soon. Good signs. 25867. Wombat - 1/14/2010 2:21:14 AM Damn things don't come with a manual! Since it's a boy, I do have some advice. When changing him, stand to the side, and keep your mouth CLOSED. 25868. iiibbb - 1/14/2010 4:51:26 AM P discovered that this morning.
They sell little cones you can place over the equipment while changing... I just throw a cloth diaper over him. 25869. alistairConnor - 1/14/2010 12:03:20 PM That's an interesting point Arky, about the stress parents feel over their firstborn, and how the child picks up on it. I think this probably informs the temperament of my elder girl. For better and for worse. Breastfeeding stress. Daily weighing (with an inaccurate kitchen scales! just to add some random anguish). Parents and in-laws, help and hindrance.
My mother in law was of the "don't ask me" school -- belonging to the generation who had been literally disposessed of motherhood skills and wisdom by medical science (she quickly abandoned breastfeeding on being told by her doctor that her milk was no good! There's no such thing as bad breastmilk...) In residence for a couple of days after we came back from hospital, she was worse than useless, adding considerably to my wife's stress, and we were relieved when she left.
My parents, who turned up a couple of weeks later, had the opposite effect : they did not intervene or even give much advice, but just reassured us that we knew how to cope and that we were doing OK...
The contrast with the second child was striking -- everything seemed routine, and, perhaps by coincidence, she is much less highly strung.
Moral for the iiis : it's not the feeding thing which will change your son's life; but your attitude to it might. 25870. iiibbb - 1/14/2010 3:17:10 PM He's actually latched on a few times so she's relaxing. Bris tomorrow, then one more day of inlaws.
My parents have had the good sense to delay their visit. They show up today sometime.
We've already established the concept of visitation hours.
At least I'm not stressed out about no work right now. 25871. arkymalarky - 1/15/2010 2:26:58 AM Haha! A baby'll drive everything else right out of your mind!
I'm sure all that has some role, Alistair, but I think most babies get past all that is it's not chronic.
My mother is ocd with a history of psychosis and my childhood was good but stressful, as you can imagine. But when Mose was a baby a lot of stressors were in play for both parents. Bob hated his job, I hated being alone at night, I had to go back to work before I was really ready, commuting an hour each way, etc. She can be intense, but she's got her shit together a lot better than I did and do. 25872. judithathome - 1/16/2010 7:06:16 PM There's no such thing as bad breastmilk...)
Well, technically, there really is...if a mother is doing drugs or is an alcoholic, her breast milk could be termed "bad for the baby". 25873. PsychProf - 1/16/2010 7:21:50 PM I will be seeing FreeToChoose(old time Frayster) tonight at an athletic event...any one want to send a hello? 25874. judithathome - 1/16/2010 9:01:53 PM Say "hey!" from me...though I doubt I'll be remembered.
And hello yourself, PP! 25875. PsychProf - 1/16/2010 9:16:22 PM Same to you Judith...I will say hello to him for you. 25876. arkymalarky - 1/17/2010 8:47:24 AM Hope I'm not in too late! Hello and hugs from me! I wish he'd drop by. 25877. arkymalarky - 1/18/2010 12:45:55 AM I am an i-phone widow. It was bad enough, then Mose got one yesterday. She and her dad are playing games while I work.
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