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2588. marjoribanks - 1/28/2005 6:27:13 AM

Wombat's tip about the sauce is in the right direction.

What Woden wants is apparently simply sauce, the red staple of Italian American cooking in the Northeast. So, Res, skip the fripperies and go straight for liquefied tomatoes from the packet or can, add sugar to the mix, the archetypical red sauce tastes only sweet, oregano-y, and slightly garlic-y. And it's served with overcooked spaghetti.

And after you make it, order Chinese takeout for youself. Because that shit is barely edible.

2589. resonance - 1/28/2005 6:27:33 AM

Kill the rosemary and the meat. Follow Jen's suggestion on the sieve. That would be my guess. And you probably don't need the wine, either.

Kinda hard to take the meat out. She Who Must Be Obeyed wants meat in the sauce. There's like all of four rosemary leaves in the sauce but next time I make it I might leave that out. As far as the sieve goes -- like I said, the texture isn't the problem. (And if I was gonna do that I'd use the food mill anyway).

I made it again tonight using a bit more bay, some frozen basil and more onion and it turned out closer to the ideal but still not dead on. Plus the bay ended up bringing out the spiciness a bit too much so I think I might, indeed, pull that next time.

2590. marjoribanks - 1/28/2005 6:29:24 AM

Bay is acceptable, rosemary is unheard-of.

By the way, the half-bald Lidia Bastanich has an excellent Italian-American cookbook which has plenty to recommend it as well as a decent recipe for a decent red sauce.

2591. marjoribanks - 1/28/2005 6:30:38 AM

I think Res should write us a series of entertaining essays.

What Woden Wants.

There's publishing potential.

2592. resonance - 1/28/2005 6:30:54 AM

Crosspost with Malik Marj.

Dude, there is no way in hell I'm going to make that.

2593. marjoribanks - 1/28/2005 6:33:24 AM

Homes, if it's What Woden Wants then I'd recommend getting to it rather snappily.

I, myself, have learned to make a whole range of barely palatable stodgy English "specialities." The things we do. Etc.

2594. resonance - 1/28/2005 6:37:48 AM

True enough on the essays.

But even the merest hint that I am writing about her is enough to bring her to perch on your shoulder with a 'what are you doing' glare on her face.


Maybe I'll try this --

Crushed tomatoes

bay

oregano

garlic

salt

olive oil

butter

...sugar...

and black pepper.

That's about as basic a restaurant sauce as you can make.

2595. marjoribanks - 1/28/2005 6:44:38 AM

You have to serve that with mozarella sticks, the cheapest frozen kind, heated up in the microwave.

2596. marjoribanks - 1/28/2005 6:45:13 AM

Followed by a side-serving of TUMS.

--

Good luck.

2597. resonance - 1/28/2005 6:47:15 AM

Isis... is my co-pilot.

2598. Ronski - 1/28/2005 1:31:40 PM

Increase the oregano.

2599. alistairconnor - 1/28/2005 2:16:56 PM

What Woden Wants.

Suggestions for plot elements, and casting for the film version?

2600. thoughtful - 1/28/2005 3:30:06 PM

I'd skip the bay and add back the basil and onion.

I've co. coming for dinner on monday night after work, so I'm planning on cooking up some baked cod which i do with shallots and garlic and bread crumbs and thyme and white wine and butter and fresh parsley and a squeeze of lemon at the end. Then I think I'll do a side of curried rice...stir in curry powder of course and sauted onions. Maybe green breans with thyme butter to tie in the flavor from the fish. Simple dessert of ice cream and berries with some fancy cookies. Cheese and crackers and grapes before hand, coffee after. Should be able to get it done in short order. Always the issue on a week night...want it to be nice but have little time to get the job done.

2601. resonance - 1/28/2005 3:53:07 PM

I'm not sure it could be done justice in any medium, to be honest. Have you ever heard the expression 'force of nature'? That is Woden when she wants something. It can't be conveyed properly.

There are a few rules that I can give you, though. These are the ones I've figured out.


1) When she gets to the stage of wanting something there's no dissuading her.

1a) Attempts at dissuading her will just make her cranky.
1b) If she absolutely can't have it, she is quite sensible and moves on straightaway. If, OTOH, there is merely some surmountable obstacle in the way, it will be bulldozed and tarmaced, or if possible completely ignored.

1b1)Surmountable obstacles include; snowstorms, boyfriends, bosses, laws, doctor's advice, common sense, top shelves.

1b2) Insurmountable obstacles include; spiders, taking out the trash, turning on the receiver, Hwoarang

2) Telling her she can't have something she wants simply convinces her more strongly that she should have it

2a) The aforementioned act of telling her 'no' will cause her to question how smart you are and will cast aspersions and doubts on your judgment in other areas.

2b) If this act is attempted when Woden wants chocolate, ice cream, or candy, there will be fighting.

3) Although Woden knows almost nothing about cooking, she will want you to include certain ingredients and exclude others when you cook things for her.

3a) She will inspect the kitchen occasionally to see if you are complying

3b) Lying is ok as she can't tell, but you need to be good at it.

4) Woden wants order. There will be order.

4a) Order extends to occasionally seizing any pieces of paper which don't look like they belong where they are, and throwing them away.

4b) Order sometimes also extends to taking all men's socks in the house and hiding them.

5) The sight of a sleeping male fills Woden with an uncontrollable urge to wake them up. Once they are awake she will not have any specific goal in mind for them to perform, beyond 'stuff'.

5a) Woden doesn't want you to bother her about this practice.

5b) Sometimes, right after that, Woden wants to sleep.

6) Although want is a complex thing, Woden can convey various complexities about what she wants via simple modulations of her yowling.

6a) Sometimes she does a much better job of conveying these precise qualities than the stupid men in her life do in deciphering her straightforward and completely-out-in-the-open yowl modulation.

6b) Woden doesn't want you to bother her with queries about this either.

7) Tonight, I believe, Woden wants the following: roasted chicken in sauce, couscous, cheese and crackers, soda with ice, snuggling.

7a) Woden usually wants snuggling

7a1) This often occurs when the stupid men in her life are trying to do some other stupid thing
7a2) I'm going to hear it about the 'knows nothing about cooking' line and the next time I make tomato sauce she will insist I use several cans of tomato paste.
7a3) Woden doesn't want Chinese food, Marj bhai. Alas.

More will come to me later, I am sure.

2602. thoughtful - 1/28/2005 4:19:17 PM

very cute res...i can relate to too many of those things, though i reserve my waking the sleeping male to my cat!

Years of study of my in-laws led me to the following 3 rules of life they lived by:

1) if you don't say it, it won't happen
2) if you say it often enough, it becomes true
3) anything I don't know isn't worth knowing

2603. wonkers2 - 1/28/2005 10:24:32 PM

I could write a very funny play or short story about my relationship with my late mother-in-law.

2604. Jenerator - 1/28/2005 11:21:50 PM

I've never had spaghetti sauce with bacon!

2605. Wombat - 1/28/2005 11:26:03 PM

Amatriciana sauce has pancetta (Eyetalian bacon) in it. Res.: If she doesn't like your ongoing attempts at sauce, tell her to make the @#$$%%^ herself, and that you'll be delighted to eat it. Sheesh!

2606. Wombat - 1/28/2005 11:41:10 PM

Mrs. Wombat is 1/2 Italian, and I have lived in Italy. Dark secret: When we make pasta sauce, we use Barilla bottled sauces as a base. For a meat sauce, saute chopped beef in oil with some garlic, add wine, cook down, add Barilla Marinara and water, cook for an hour or so. Red clam or seafood sauce, heat marinara sauce, add frozen chopped clams a few minutes before serving.

I do a nice sausage and mushroom sauce by braising Italian sausages in a mix of Barilla garlic and mushroom sauce and roast garlic and onion sauce (both tomato-based).

2607. ronski - 1/29/2005 12:12:30 AM

I use a can of peeled plum tomatoes in puree, or if not in puree, add some tomato paste. And they have this nice sundried tomato paste in tubes now in any big grocery store or Italian deli, if you don't need a lot of paste.

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