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5720. Seamus - 8/17/2006 5:05:06 PM surprise
maybe he would drop
dead she hoped
to haul anchor
and phone in
the rest of his life
for a sweat-ringed
Guinness or a guinea
or one more thing
he could use up
first was her hunger
to taste something
different this way
comes a buzz and jolt
and a hit off
that electric fence
in the same way
she was warned
don't touch
before she grabbed
for the ring
she knew
she would take
a quick ten
years off him
but felt twice that
slip from somewhere
between the small
of her back
against the grey walls
of the flat and the face
it was her job
to put on again
each morning
Seamus 5721. arkymalarky - 8/17/2006 10:18:38 PM Hey Seamus!
I like it. What/who inspired it, I wonder? 5722. Seamus - 8/17/2006 10:44:34 PM Hi arky!
Inspiration was a desire to see if I could be anywhere close to faithful to a voice that wasn't male--most proximately, I loved a poem written by a woman (shann palmer) in which she effortlessly wore the voices of men at a poetry reading by a young woman and got it so bang on, she made me embarrassed for my gender.
I'm glad you liked it. As you can see, I appear to be incapable of landing on a form. One day, heroic couplets, the next a total run-on like this. You'd think the fool could pick something and go with it. The flightiness helps to hide the lack of any depth, but I've fun with it all the same.
Seamus 5723. arkymalarky - 8/17/2006 10:51:22 PM Hey, I'm the same way when it comes to reading them. ;-)
Of course the varied forms are part of what makes reading them so enjoyable! 5724. NuPlanetOne - 8/19/2006 12:50:33 AM seamus
…and you should have fun with it! Getting away from form and substance and fiercely studied iambs and hotly guarded pentameters or any kind of feet, shod or otherwise, is the muse on holiday. Your run-on is perfect style. As for gender, I heard the female voice, but more than that it is the human condition that rings true. Men and women are inherently different. There, I said it! But the differences should never be allowed to trump or disrespect an individuals human rights, even if patriarchal ideologies seem intractable and inevitable. At least in some places, such as your poem, there are havens in which one can celebrate or suffer the gender difference, and I suppose where a woman can rail against man in general, and men in particular, without fear of retaliation. What kinds of poetry do sexist sociopathic males read to monitor the inner feelings of their victims? I played golf with a guy whose ethics and courtesy and respect for the rules bordered on the obsessive. His guilt and shame over minor infractions were genuine. Yet the views he spouted on women playing the ancient game and the verbs and nouns and things he declared these detestable creatures would be more useful doing were all leveled publicly without one iota of any kind of guilt or room for discussion. And in the next breath apologizing in astonishingly heartfelt terms for stepping on my line on the putting green. And in the ‘what do you do for a living’ part of the bonding process I learn he is a guidance councilor at a middle school. I was hoping he was a used car salesman, that way no one would ever engage him expecting truth or respect, but such is life. Where the hell am I going with this? Oh, democracy, enfranchisement through exposure to the genderless human insight of individual inherent equality. Yup, force human rights down that assholes throat with a 1 iron. Or, read poems in a free society that expose bigotry or sexism or any bullshit that megalomaniacs thrive on! Especially a good one, like yours my old friend. Carry on.
5725. NuPlanetOne - 8/19/2006 12:51:10 AM Forever Now
The thing is time
It just gets here
Now it’s here again
It’s always here
Every second ever passed
Right here, now
What? Like that’s possible
Every event since the bang
The so called start
Right here, up to date
All of each incredible
Second of lives and deaths
Gone, remembered
In this new second of time
Starting right now
Every second, it all
Begins again
Anyone else have a problem
With that?
How is there significance?
It’s recorded, part of it
Now all of it
Is this where it’s headed
By some hocus pocus
We can jump back into it
Really feel those past seconds
See them, recreate them
Stay there a while
So the now is not such a death
Because it is a death
Those past seconds
And even to hold them a while
Is still clutching a dying thing
A fatal outlook, I suppose
Yet, that aside
(And forgiveness begged
To offended deities)
For in this moment
And for several gone by
I am content
But where did it go?
The stress of last week
The traumas of last year
That now I am content
They have no more meaning
Even though, traumas and dramas
Scream in every corner
All about me
My new second
In this moment
I am content
And everything that is everything
Anything that ever was
Is gone
Except me and the memory
5726. Ulgine Barrows - 8/19/2006 9:15:59 AM [i]5720. Seamus
she knew
she would take
a quick ten
years off him
5722
Hi arky!
Inspiration was a desire to see if I could be anywhere close to faithful to a voice that wasn't male--most proximately, I loved a poem written by a woman (shann palmer) in which she effortlessly wore the voices of men at a poetry reading by a young woman and got it so bang on, she made me embarrassed for my gender.[/i]
tch, Seamus, what a mysogynist sentiment, "taking a quick ten years"
No decent woman would have written that.
And we whores ignore the years, we focus on the money.
You totally got the first stanza coorect, tho.
maybe he would drop
dead she hoped
to haul anchor
and phone in
the rest of his life
yeah, a female could have written that. 5727. Ulgine Barrows - 8/19/2006 9:33:59 AM What kinds of poetry do sexist sociopathic males read to monitor the inner feelings of their victims? I played golf with a guy whose ethics and courtesy and respect for the rules bordered on the obsessive. His guilt and shame over minor infractions were genuine. Yet the views he spouted on women playing the ancient game and the verbs and nouns and things he declared these detestable creatures would be more useful doing were all leveled publicly without one iota of any kind of guilt or room for discussion.
rhis reminds me of that Rex doctor who was liked on the 1st season of .......Desperate Housewives..........hubbie of Bree 5728. Ulgine Barrows - 8/19/2006 9:45:31 AM I didn't mean to be so harsh.
It just didn't seem like poetry.
*I'll go quickly into the dark night! I excel at hiding! 5729. Ulgine Barrows - 8/19/2006 9:47:52 AM ..and reading various government docs upside-down.
Barry....hahahahaha
Your attention, please! 5730. Ulgine Barrows - 8/19/2006 10:00:53 AM And, the moment 5731. Ulgine Barrows - 8/19/2006 10:03:18 AM we love it
ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for, is here....
I believe in the suture. 5732. alistairConnor - 8/19/2006 5:51:14 PM And I'm in stitches.
Ms Molly Malone. 5733. Seamus - 8/21/2006 12:48:14 PM Thank you, Nu. And Forever Now, is that new? I quite like it--good voice that.
And Ulgine, I understand. Coming up short is the one thing I do well.
It is rather clear that my (admittedly sparse) posting here is an annoyance to you. As I said the time before, I get the message. I may have forgotten the message, but I think I can retain it in this dense skull now.
The floor is yours. 5734. alistairconnor - 8/21/2006 12:58:59 PM Regarding Ulgine : you're right, she should be writing poetry. Well I believe she has talent, though she needs discipline (perhaps even a bit of bondage) but please don't let her run you off the dance floor, Seamus.
In fact I don't believe her intention is hostile (you don't want to see her when she's hostile!)
Anyway. For my part, I found "surprise" thrilling, a rich vein to be mined in cross-gender (mis)understanding. 5735. arkymalarky - 8/21/2006 11:45:01 PM No, Seamus, please don't! I love reading your poetry, and so many wonderful Mote poets are now gone, we don't need to lose another. I for one feel privileged that you post here. 5736. RickNelson - 8/22/2006 12:59:19 PM Seamus,
Arky is right, and for that matter Ulgine has a style of her own that you may misinterpret.
Which I believe you have and wish you always the best regards, hopes and dreams.
Check in, and I read Shann too, so there's still common ground here for us. 5737. RickNelson - 8/22/2006 1:02:19 PM Seamus, you've seen my writing when there were strange days abounding in my little world. There have been a few turns of those pages and different eyes and concerns greet this thread.
You'll be sorely missed if gone for good. 5738. RickNelson - 8/22/2006 1:12:08 PM What greets today I ponder
As I’ve a play of wonder.
By-ways of gross theatrics
Where I’ve scenes of dramatics-
There, finality crashes
There, a line springs from ashes.
5739. Ulgine Barrows - 8/24/2006 6:56:30 AM 5733. Seamus - 8/21/2006 12:48:14 PM
Thank you, Nu. And Forever Now, is that new? I quite like it--good voice that.
And Ulgine, I understand. Coming up short is the one thing I do well.
It is rather clear that my (admittedly sparse) posting here is an annoyance to you. As I said the time before, I get the message. I may have forgotten the message, but I think I can retain it in this dense skull now.
The floor is yours.
On the playground, we learn so much
Take my advice
and don't be a fool like the rest of us
Listen up
gather up now
They'll talk about you at the drop of a hat
The Gossip, 'Standing In the Way of Control'
some people talk way too much
take my adive
and listen up
don't be a fool like the rest of us
on the playgrounfd
now gather round
listen
1,2,3, take it from me
4,5, get it right
1,2,3 listen to me
4,5, get it right
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