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612. alistairConnor - 4/30/2006 9:25:08 AM Ding!
(counting points here)
Did I mention that I met Belle-Mère? But I have very little to report on her. She delivered Webfeet to my door and barely took time to shake hands before leaving again. I was mildly offended, put it down to snobism (bourgeois chez les ploucs) and lack of curiosity and elementary politeness. I thought I might have tamed her, had she consented to stay for a drink.
But, to be fair to her, she'd just spent four hours trapped in a car with her DIL, and no doubt was eager to start the four hour trip home rather than spend another ten minutes in her company... 613. alistairConnor - 4/30/2006 9:29:01 AM One thing to bear in mind with Webfeet's writing is that it is necessarily slightly larger than life, for satirical effect, while remaining entirely plausible in the details. Evelyn Waugh comes to mind.
Thus, the culture-clash thing. She plays on the mutual cultural incomprehensions in a pretty deadpan way, as if she were entirely a foreigner in France and destined to remain so eternally... which obviously isn't so. (surely?) 614. Jenerator - 4/30/2006 8:22:07 PM Speaking of oblivious, yesterday I was driving around for thirty minutes looking for a Chuck E. Cheese that we had been invited to for a birthday party. It was way out in a town named Rockwall which is by Lake Ray Hubbard.
After driving up and down the street the map said it was on, I decided to call the place. I couldn't get any reception and lost the call three times. I circled a parking lot hoping to find reception and finally found it.
I was out in the farthest possible area of this parking lot pressing the buttons.... "Press one if you would like to hear information in English"... out of nowhere came a royal blue porsche. Its driver circled *me* while I strained to hear where the damned Chuck E. Cheese was.
Then the passenger motioned for me to roll down my window.
I did and looked at the couple.
"Could you move please!?" the man shouted at me.
My jaw dropped. Out of the hundreds of parking spaces available, he wanted the one on the outer rim (furthest from the store.)that I was half-in. 615. webfeet - 5/2/2006 4:14:32 AM that's really very funny.
616. webfeet - 5/2/2006 4:22:05 AM Alistair-- I knew Lelandes was going to be dull, but if I have a bag of books, some crack and my laptop I won't be bored. As far as the laptop goes, I did it deliberately. Ididn't want internet access so I wouldn't be distracted.
So, the larger more pressing question is who are we going to set you up with? I crossed out my sister, because she already fell in love with a New Zealander and it would be in poor taste to set her up with another kiwi. so soon, at least.
I know a really lovely brunette in boston who works for harvard, writing science articles. Green eyes, good bones, an even finer mind. How are we going to get you to a city? Any city. 617. alistairconnor - 5/2/2006 9:14:42 AM Good bones eh? Bring 'em on.
I'm in a city every day, my dear. And in the country at night. I am working out how to turn this to my advantage. She's got to live in Lyon. So we can meet for lunch, and so I can whisk her away for a weeknight in the country now that the days are long and the flowers in bloom in the spring, tra la. (but I must beware of the lazy man's tendency to shack up at her place during the week to save on transport, that's what killed my previous idyll.)
I am pretty much resigned to the fact that she's got to have children. Though this adds exponentially to the logistical complications, it hugely simplifies things on the psychological level, believe me. Also, with age comes wisdom, and the realisation that sex isn't a daily necessity. But a miraculous weekend when both are childless... I had forgotten about sex in the afternoon. It's the real thing.
Please bear in mind that I'm looking for someone to spend the next forty or fifty years with, obviously; but I'm (tragically) resigned to the fact that there will inevitably be some adventures on the way there. 618. alistairconnor - 5/2/2006 9:17:50 AM New Zealand men. Gah.
A beautiful, vivacious 20 year old neighbour recently spent a year in NZ, and came back with no firm attachments. This confirms what I've always known. None of 'em are any good.
Pimping your sister on the internet? Really! How could I ever look her in the eye? 619. webfeet - 5/2/2006 1:56:43 PM Pimping your sister on the internet? Really! How could I ever look her in the eye?
But she's spoken for, la salope! She would have been worth at least a donkey and a few euros.
I hope whatever femme enters your life, that she have really good horsepower on her little Renault...to make it up that cursed hill! 620. webfeet - 5/2/2006 1:59:45 PM Message #608
First it was the t-shirts, now it's the flower arrangements. Why that could rouse such ire is a mystery to me. You're like a child shooting your bows and arrows around somebody's lawn, hoping to hit any mark, anywhere. Why don't you cross over to someone else's yard and play?
This is a fiction thread created for entertainment. Not for some heckler in desperate need of attention. 621. Jenerator - 5/2/2006 9:47:05 PM Webfeet,
What are some of the books you've read lately and enjoyed? 622. Jenerator - 5/2/2006 9:48:36 PM Alistair,
I have a dear friend who lives in Chicago and is a world traveler. She's well-educated, well spoken and comes from a great family. She's not a Christian, but she is my friend (don't hold that against her). Plus, she is the spitting image of a young Finola Hughes. 623. Jenerator - 5/2/2006 9:51:01 PM 
624. alistairconnor - 5/3/2006 12:03:15 PM Well let me check my diary ...
... second weekend in June is free.
But maybe we need a dedicated thread for this subject?
... Or to stay on topic, I could write a book about it. Chapter One : Raphaëlle. Chapter Two : Finola. 625. Macnas - 5/3/2006 12:16:44 PM Finola = Fionnuala
We should rename this thread as "Get Conner Fixed Up".
Or we could still call it Fiction.. 626. alistairconnor - 5/3/2006 1:21:30 PM What you reckon Feet, there might be a niche for it :
A man's delayed adolescence, age 45. Going through the learning curve of courtship, romance, love, rejection; with a mix of wide-eyed wonder and self-mocking philosophy. And sex. Lots of sex.
Middle-aged sex, of course. Flabby bellies, wobbly bottoms.
... bit of a small niche eh? 627. judithathome - 5/3/2006 3:48:29 PM This is a fiction thread created for entertainment. Not for some heckler in desperate need of attention.
Well, you hit the mark there, Webbie...that certainly entertained me!
I haven't noticed a tremendous amount of fiction in here from you lately but some chat that could qualify as entertainment. I thought we were all welcome to chip in but evidently not. I'll try to rustle up a little story later on, more in keeping with the purpose of the thread. If that's okay.... 628. Jenerator - 5/3/2006 4:51:22 PM A man's delayed adolescence, age 45. Going through the learning curve of courtship, romance, love, rejection; with a mix of wide-eyed wonder and self-mocking philosophy. And sex. Lots of sex.
The more important question is, do you look like Paco? 629. webfeet - 5/3/2006 6:39:49 PM There's bad news. Maurice might be gay. It's not confirmed--but there is strong reason to suspect--not married, idolizes his mother--that I'm not his type. 630. webfeet - 5/3/2006 6:43:08 PM What have I started? This is starting to feel like Match.com.
If he would shave and shower every other week, Alistair would be considered handsome. So you can tell Fionnula that a frenchified Teddy kazinksy, some peculiar warlock with long toenails and braided nostril hair does not await her in some remote chalet in France. 631. webfeet - 5/3/2006 6:47:32 PM Go ahead, squawk away Judith. Write, post, do whatever you like. You're like a pigeon flying after morsels of conversation. I'll throw you some crumbs anytime you like.
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