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804. alistairconnor - 2/15/2008 10:46:48 AM Nah don't blame Jen's kids... I think it's because I'm posting gibberish. 805. NuPlanetOne - 2/15/2008 5:08:09 PM Judith, cut and paste. It’s quick and easy.
alistair, gibberish? But very interesting. Sounds like material that might lead into something needing only a plot.
806. NuPlanetOne - 2/15/2008 5:08:58 PM O.K. I’ve toned down the graphic element in my sex scene, which was hard with all these visions of the afore imaginings of the lovely Keira K. She must portray Sofina in the movie production!
“What is more important right now is where Tony’s focus is this evening. He is part of my business tonight and I need him to follow the script, even if I’m still writing it. Your boy Ollie is fine with me. Your word that the kid is O.K., is plenty. Because you are O.K.” Her eyes followed the speech with a slight blink at the mention of Tony but locked on to my stare concerning Ollie and herself. It was like an agreement with contracts to follow. She unscrunched her shoulders and put her left hand on my wrist.
“Are you hungry?” She asked like she was really concerned about it. I put my other hand on top of her hand. Her eyes went up to mine immediately then back down to the hands, then up again. As soon as our pupils locked on each other I felt the twinge. I knew nothing else mattered at that moment in time. And the twinge was a kind of adrenalin drenched fear and exhilaration. I have never been able to understand why it only happened with certain women, why I couldn't conjure or force it when I needed it or thought I was in love or felt an attraction. And I could count on one hand and a thumb how many times in my life I had felt it. One time it cost me my marriage, another time it cost me my best friend, and once it nearly cost me my life. And all these things buzzing around the glass bubble of this sudden enchantment, rapping on the glass, unable to shake my focus from even considering the consequences. For as her fingers moved just slightly up my arm every pore and follicle and strand of hair in their path exited a pleasure and wanton anticipation like she lit each one and anything literate or consequential belonged to another reality.
"Sure, let's eat," I half whispered. Our eyes ebbed and flowed as in the same tidal surge obeying the moon.
"Wait," she said while the waves settled to foam to bubbles knowing the next crash is coming. She slid out of her chair and came around and went by me keeping hold of my hand. Her other hand hit a wall switch and the naked hard edged fluorescence was gone. A soft night light off in a corner, the mild glare of a microwave, the red glow of an exit sign and a splash of light from the hall turned the room into a place that matched the lure and circumstances, at least, in the bubble I was in. Then she stepped into the bubble. And it was warm.
She came back with my hand and put it on her right thigh as her left leg slid past my chest and her butt rested on the table edge where a plate of food would belong. I faced the plate and slid my chair back a bit then pulled her slowly down onto my lap. Her back was rigid against the table and in a dense slow breathing moment our mouths found each other.
There is no way to describe, really, actually, how intense and carnal that first bolt of electricity can reverberate and override any logical thought or priority. It is like the life force that is pounding beneath the surface of all living things explodes into existence and moves the mind and body in a dance of greed and cooperation that each gender necessary to mix the primeval elixir submit and engage in the profound exchange of cells and fluids, so that the force might continue. Lust, however described or pronounced floods chemically from the most ancient spot on the Helix and washes away pain and suffering and fear and holds them in stasis so that the host may survive the moment and create, in the short blip of time allowed, one more life.
I have thought of these things, afterwards, of course, as now I was paralyzed by the smell and sounds and taste of the wonderful creature writhing in my arms. And the kiss, her tongue, her breasts squashed hard into my chest, her bottom grinding into my crotch; me, trying to force the motion of our heads, gain control, guide her to the table, sense her thoughts, prolong each second forever. Her, receptive, forceful, reluctant, pliable, recoiling, unrelenting, fraught with anticipation. Pushing her torso onto the table, her hands pulling my hands to her breasts, forcing her top up. Exposing her perfect nipples hard against my soft fingers, buttons that I flick and press and take into my mouth. Smothering and suffocating my head with wonderful arms holding me onto her chest while pushing down slightly, then pulling me, staring wildly, pushing me down, then up, as my hands, each one holding and molding a breast, now pushing against the pull as if love were nothing more than clutch, grab, and ecstasy. I heard through a heart pounding muffle, “No. Fuck me. Yes.” The rest of it was wonderfully unnecessary to depict. Then in a series of shudders and moans, it was over.
807. alistairConnor - 2/16/2008 1:58:55 AM The rest of it was wonderfully unnecessary to depict. But fun to read. I preferred the first version. I want Sofina in a pasta pot, alla vongole, as Webfeet so memorably said.
808. webfeet - 2/16/2008 2:10:20 AM ..and did you take a motrin? Or, did you padlock the doors and call the cops.
Sorry, I couldn't resist. You know, I'm not the best judge of sex scenes. But what I see you wrestling with is not Sofina's head, but a match between your overdeveloped brain and your carnal sense. Seems like the brain is winning out. 809. webfeet - 2/16/2008 2:10:52 AM Oh, not at the gym? 810. webfeet - 2/16/2008 2:13:14 AM We're on the same time zone now..I have jet lag as an excuse.
You were next on my list. I have a hard time picturing french women ona stairmaster. Enlighten us sometime. Do they actually hop on a treadmill? 811. webfeet - 2/16/2008 11:36:09 PM If you haven't already ensnared some hapless french woman unused to the flap on the treadmill, then I have a hottie for you.
C'est la maitresse-nageur at our municipal pool here in this little alpine town. If I were going to write a titillating BBC production of some Inspector Linley episode, I'd cast her as either the victim, (the sexy ones usually are) or the murderess. Set to the backdrop of the deadly boring alps in winter, she's come back from vacances, somewhere tropical. Or, maybe she still has a tan from all those afternoons in the sun watching other people's children en ete. She's not so young anymore, but she's definetely got a way to go before she looks like Johnny Hallyday. Manu, her babacool boyfriend, owns a husky breeding farm at the ski station, and takes British tourists for sleigh rides during the winter. Unfortunately, he's fallen in love with one of his clientes, a waifish British student, who decides to fulfill her dream of raising huskies with him in the alps forever. After breaking up with la maitresse-nageur, she goes out for a cigarette in the snow while behind her you can see the children inside the pool splashing through the window.
Thats when you come in with your sportscar. Park, strip and go in for a dip. Perfect, non? 812. NuPlanetOne - 2/17/2008 3:07:28 AM Actually, comparing both versions of the sex scene now, and mindful of plotting it all together, I’m inclined to leave the second version intact as a teaser for perhaps a more splendid encounter somewhere else with another partner or with Sofina within a different context.
My overdeveloped brain and my carnal sense. Oh…the big head and the little one. Ya, you might be right Web, and it is a rare victory indeed, when the big head wins.
813. Jenerator - 2/17/2008 8:13:19 PM Webfeet!!
I meant what I said upthread. I sincerely hope that when you are published, you will let us know. My fingers are already itching to buy your book! In the meantime, I will go and check out Liza Campbell's book. Thanks for the recommendation. 814. webfeet - 2/18/2008 1:08:38 AM Nu, it's hard to be Steven Hawkings with particles of life 'exploding into existence' and Bob Guccionne with nipple buttons at once. Either Bob or Steve. But not both.
Publishing is slow, Jen and I also have a second novel to produce, which takes place in France (one of the reasons why I'm here. Kids ski, I write. In theory) And, speaking of sex scenes, even though I am sitting here wearing pajamas, I am contemplating writing one myself. Yet, they always veer toward the comical. I can't help it, so I am not going to play against my strengths and am keeping it audacious, but light and funny.
Actually, I am mortified to reveal a few things..but I know that those are the gems of this book. I once gave a french boyfriend a blowjob and he compared me to Monica Lewinksy!
How could I leave something so hilarious out?
Hi, dad. I sold my first book. Aren't you proud of me?
815. Jenerator - 2/18/2008 2:15:36 AM You naughty little vixen! 816. Jenerator - 2/18/2008 2:24:37 AM Webfeet,
So, I wonder if the Mommmy Gangs in NY are like the ones here. It's all about name brand (on everything from the stroller to the diaper bag to the baby lotion) and the size of the bow. 817. jexster - 2/18/2008 4:19:40 AM A budding Jesse Plemmons! 818. arkymalarky - 2/18/2008 5:48:05 PM So, I wonder if the Mommmy Gangs in NY are like the ones here. It's all about name brand (on everything from the stroller to the diaper bag to the baby lotion) and the size of the bow.
Bob's niece was featured on a Fine Living program a couple of days ago--I forget the name of the program and forgot to watch it--but they're all about organic, and how natural and organic everyone needs to be. She changed her baby's diaper and turned their compost pile. Fortunately the family taped it, so I don't have to miss that action. 819. NuPlanetOne - 2/19/2008 3:22:28 PM Web,
My my, the things that come out of your mouth! And for that matter, the things that go in! I’m thinking, what’s not to like about this girl? She tears right to the heart of my amateur attempts at erotic portrayal and deciphers the superfluous philosophizing and separates the fauna from the flora. A mentor is born! But must I totally sacrifice the intellectual asides altogether? Surely you were thinking more lofty thoughts whilst laboring through your oral performance with the aforementioned French boy. I could not stand it if your mind were trained solely on the task. But, as there is no such thing as a bad blow job, I suppose describing one could wind up as bad writing. Alas, I need more guidance! You will have to elaborate.
820. alistairconnor - 2/19/2008 3:43:28 PM there is no such thing as a bad blow job
Sounds like a challenge to me. I think I'm going to write about one. (That is, more or less, my current project. The gym thing is just setting the stage for Webfeet's "Bad sex scene" challenge.)
But, now I think about the scene I have in mind, the badness is more metaphysical than strictly erotic.
Stay tuned. 821. alistairconnor - 2/19/2008 3:45:21 PM Tell you what Bibiche... tell me the name of the station, I might do a drive-by to have a look at the maîtresse-nageuse. Got to take the kids skiing next week or they'll kill me. 822. marjoribanks - 2/21/2008 5:21:50 AM What a pleasure to read this thread over the past hour. Great stuff, all around.
Webbie, congratulations on your book contract! I always knew it would happen for you, the style and sparkle was all there online, even, what, ten years ago?
And, I suspect I will be seeing you at some lit fest or similar-type jamboree before too long, because I'm right alongside you....
Anyway, I liked these two comments about the Mote and writing, and feel the same way:
"I never wrote here for useful feedback. I wrote to entertain and because people asked me to.
Yes. Old fashioned writing for a specific audience of friends and acquaintances. It has its advantages, not least of which is an appreciative audience. I'm grateful to this forum and its predecessor for that.
the mote did help me define and develop my voice, certainly. The more everyone enjoyed it, the more of an incentive it was to create.
Yes. Remember the El Foco Desnudo stories, for example, delightful writerly interactions which I have never approximated anywhere else with anyone else. 823. marjoribanks - 2/21/2008 5:24:47 AM I've had bad, amateurish blowjobs. Or at least I did, until I realized that the esistential purpose of the blowjob itself wasn't what I'd naively imagined it was.
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