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814. webfeet - 2/18/2008 1:08:38 AM Nu, it's hard to be Steven Hawkings with particles of life 'exploding into existence' and Bob Guccionne with nipple buttons at once. Either Bob or Steve. But not both.
Publishing is slow, Jen and I also have a second novel to produce, which takes place in France (one of the reasons why I'm here. Kids ski, I write. In theory) And, speaking of sex scenes, even though I am sitting here wearing pajamas, I am contemplating writing one myself. Yet, they always veer toward the comical. I can't help it, so I am not going to play against my strengths and am keeping it audacious, but light and funny.
Actually, I am mortified to reveal a few things..but I know that those are the gems of this book. I once gave a french boyfriend a blowjob and he compared me to Monica Lewinksy!
How could I leave something so hilarious out?
Hi, dad. I sold my first book. Aren't you proud of me?
815. Jenerator - 2/18/2008 2:15:36 AM You naughty little vixen! 816. Jenerator - 2/18/2008 2:24:37 AM Webfeet,
So, I wonder if the Mommmy Gangs in NY are like the ones here. It's all about name brand (on everything from the stroller to the diaper bag to the baby lotion) and the size of the bow. 817. jexster - 2/18/2008 4:19:40 AM A budding Jesse Plemmons! 818. arkymalarky - 2/18/2008 5:48:05 PM So, I wonder if the Mommmy Gangs in NY are like the ones here. It's all about name brand (on everything from the stroller to the diaper bag to the baby lotion) and the size of the bow.
Bob's niece was featured on a Fine Living program a couple of days ago--I forget the name of the program and forgot to watch it--but they're all about organic, and how natural and organic everyone needs to be. She changed her baby's diaper and turned their compost pile. Fortunately the family taped it, so I don't have to miss that action. 819. NuPlanetOne - 2/19/2008 3:22:28 PM Web,
My my, the things that come out of your mouth! And for that matter, the things that go in! I’m thinking, what’s not to like about this girl? She tears right to the heart of my amateur attempts at erotic portrayal and deciphers the superfluous philosophizing and separates the fauna from the flora. A mentor is born! But must I totally sacrifice the intellectual asides altogether? Surely you were thinking more lofty thoughts whilst laboring through your oral performance with the aforementioned French boy. I could not stand it if your mind were trained solely on the task. But, as there is no such thing as a bad blow job, I suppose describing one could wind up as bad writing. Alas, I need more guidance! You will have to elaborate.
820. alistairconnor - 2/19/2008 3:43:28 PM there is no such thing as a bad blow job
Sounds like a challenge to me. I think I'm going to write about one. (That is, more or less, my current project. The gym thing is just setting the stage for Webfeet's "Bad sex scene" challenge.)
But, now I think about the scene I have in mind, the badness is more metaphysical than strictly erotic.
Stay tuned. 821. alistairconnor - 2/19/2008 3:45:21 PM Tell you what Bibiche... tell me the name of the station, I might do a drive-by to have a look at the maîtresse-nageuse. Got to take the kids skiing next week or they'll kill me. 822. marjoribanks - 2/21/2008 5:21:50 AM What a pleasure to read this thread over the past hour. Great stuff, all around.
Webbie, congratulations on your book contract! I always knew it would happen for you, the style and sparkle was all there online, even, what, ten years ago?
And, I suspect I will be seeing you at some lit fest or similar-type jamboree before too long, because I'm right alongside you....
Anyway, I liked these two comments about the Mote and writing, and feel the same way:
"I never wrote here for useful feedback. I wrote to entertain and because people asked me to.
Yes. Old fashioned writing for a specific audience of friends and acquaintances. It has its advantages, not least of which is an appreciative audience. I'm grateful to this forum and its predecessor for that.
the mote did help me define and develop my voice, certainly. The more everyone enjoyed it, the more of an incentive it was to create.
Yes. Remember the El Foco Desnudo stories, for example, delightful writerly interactions which I have never approximated anywhere else with anyone else. 823. marjoribanks - 2/21/2008 5:24:47 AM I've had bad, amateurish blowjobs. Or at least I did, until I realized that the esistential purpose of the blowjob itself wasn't what I'd naively imagined it was. 824. alistairconnor - 2/21/2008 1:38:33 PM That's too much information, or not enough.
Weekend assignment : an essay on the metaphysical implications of a bad blowjob.
Open to all... comers. 825. Magoseph - 2/21/2008 5:46:37 PM May I respectfully point out that this conversation should be in the sex thread where we women can compare our sexual experience with you guys, metaphysically or otherwise? 826. alistairconnor - 2/21/2008 7:09:49 PM Absolutely not Mago. I mean, certainly, go ahead. But here it's fiction, remember.
So please, tell us a story, and feel free to pretty it up, or make it sound funnier than it seemed at the time. 827. NuPlanetOne - 2/22/2008 3:03:23 AM I think it is hard to talk about blowjobs without eventually being in jeopardy of inviting accusations of being chauvinistic. At some point the one performing the deed is patronized and marginalized as an object rather than as a willing sex partner. Especially when it is a conversation between men. Should you wax metaphysical, say, during a long wait at some hole on the back nine, and tell the guys that the blowjob you received last night at the hotel was surrounded in an aura of subliminal transcendental awareness, that further, you attempt to liken it to the Allegretto in Mozart’s Piano Concerto #24 in C minor. Declaring passionately that the effervescence of oboes commingling with clarinets signifying at long last a fusion of the divine deep within the soul of the abyss, has led you to redefine your faith in spirituality. Fore! And no one ducks.
Anyway, this is an interesting subject. That is, writing about the sex act specifically, without being specific. That is why I agree with Alistair, Mago. Hearing different takes on the subject in general, oral or otherwise, and how it could pertain to the fiction at hand, could be helpful. (Besides I want to know what other kinds of sex Webbie’s into.)
828. Jenerator - 2/23/2008 4:45:19 PM I used to wait tables when I was in college and one of my colleagues was a very sexually active nymph. She told everyone some crazy stories, and we still remember them. But they're too gross or pornographic to make for good fiction. Sorta like Chloe Sevigny with Vincent Gallo - not sexy. 829. NuPlanetOne - 2/24/2008 3:02:59 PM Jen,
Aye, but there’s the rub, if you will. Being in the company and context of the nubile nymphet, and being familiar with the more jocular aspects of her promiscuity, you found humor, not grossness, in her descriptions of her sexual encounters. Now, were you to relate these very same tales of tails writhing in ecstasy, in the wrong hands or even in the best of hands, oiled or otherwise, those hand jobs and that handholding would triple x into gutter moans and groans of dismay as the humor and context would dissolve. Webbie as editor saw this at once, whilst Alistair almost appreciated my attempt to intellectualize the graphic depictions of my lascivious consumption of the lovely Sofina. Hence the dilemma, go porn or be sworn to leaving it more to allusion, more to the imagination. How to proceed, indeed!
As a Chef, I have known so many waiters and waitresses like your friend from long ago. When I get back to my Piccatta story, I will try to introduce a major character to represent that part of the restaurant. Chicanery between the front and back of the house is what makes for most of the fun and friction in the daily workings of a busy kitchen. Webbie had her French boys, come on Jen, tell us about that sauté cook you followed into dry storage!
830. Magoseph - 2/24/2008 5:53:14 PM ...tell us about that sauté cook you followed into dry storage!
If she does, Nu, then I'll have to link to her post here from Sex & Gender. Remember what Ali told me: Absolutely not Mago. I mean, certainly, go ahead. But here it's fiction, remember.
So, hurry up, Jen, tell us more and fictionalize!
831. Jenerator - 2/24/2008 8:16:52 PM Hahahaha
I didn't take any sauté cooks into dry storage - though I kissed a gorgeous bartender in the walk-in freezer! I always had strong (free) drinks after that! :-)
Probably the most comical, sexual situations at that restaurant involved Ramón. He would flirt with all of us waitresses. For me, he would position oysters on the half shell in such a way that they resembled a woman's genitalia. While working the line, he would lick the oysters and slurp them down for us in a show of what "could be" for the lucky lady.
Guh-ross! 832. Jenerator - 2/24/2008 8:17:23 PM Mags,
I forgot what I said in Sex & Gender? 833. Jenerator - 2/24/2008 8:22:26 PM As for chefs, cooks, preps, and washers, I have learned that they are the horniest bunch in the world!
Managers and bartenders are part of the mix, too, though, they are usually somewhat more discreet about their conquests in that regard; but not much.
When I worked at the Hard Rock Café, I was shocked as to the language that was used in the kitchen, and the amount of sexual action that took place. All sorts of orgies back there and on the Beatle's paraphernalia.
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