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12377. Ms. No - 11/29/2004 11:12:09 PM Jen,
I envy you your gym. I could have moved right in! 12378. Ms. No - 11/29/2004 11:20:36 PM Jude,
He's a puppy!!! What an amazing person. What's he studying at Columbia? 12379. judithathome - 11/29/2004 11:26:56 PM I think he wants to become a commodities trader...so wahtever he'd need for that. 12380. arkymalarky - 11/30/2004 1:17:15 AM Wow, that's great.
Congrats to the Wonks! 12381. judithathome - 11/30/2004 1:53:51 AM Oh yes...add my congrats, too! 12382. Magoseph - 11/30/2004 3:06:43 PM Hello, everyone.
Salut, Ali, Mac.
12383. Macnas - 11/30/2004 4:28:37 PM Hello Mago, how are you girl? 12384. Magoseph - 11/30/2004 5:40:58 PM I’m fine, Mac, thank you. I took my usual jaunt into town, a to-and-fro walk of two and a half miles. The temperature was -1 Celsius, but no wind at all. I’m becoming a permanent fixture on that road. People do not stop anymore to ask me if I need a ride, but everyone waves, even the delivery trucks’drivers.
How is your day coming along, Mac?
12385. Macnas - 11/30/2004 6:04:00 PM It's dragging Mago, just dragging. 12386. Ms. No - 11/30/2004 6:12:56 PM Mac!!!
I KISS YOU!!!
Just because I always seem to only see you in passing.
12387. Macnas - 11/30/2004 6:28:53 PM Back atcha baby 12388. christipeters - 11/30/2004 7:58:19 PM Jen - Never mind, I've found a place up here in my lil ole town 12389. thoughtful - 11/30/2004 11:16:37 PM time to carp.
woman from another department wanted to deliver a simple message that should i do x again, please let her know.
That would've been the nice way, the cooperative way. Instead she chose the "I talked to my vp and i'm supposed to be coordinating all of that and if you do it again it must be coordinated through me and if you do it again and my boss hears about it from someone other than me, there's going to be big trouble."
Mind you i don't report to this woman, work for this woman, have any relationship with her vp (i report to a sr vp who could eat her vp's lunch) and had already included her in "x" out of a spirit of cooperation.
So I said absolutely nothing. (She of course dumped this on me when we just walked into a meeting with lots of other people around...not the time for an in-depth discussion.) When people hit me with stuff like that, I really fear that if I open my mouth I will explode, so the only way I can control my anger is to say nothing. Not the best response, certainly not the most satisfying. Then I'm left with 'shoulda saids' and lots of pondering about how I will handle it the next time I run into this woman.
If the opportunity arises, I will probably tell her, as a way of 'coaching' and helping her improve her management style, that following up in the spirit of cooperation, which is where we started, would've been a far better approach than threats and blatent attempts at power grabs.
Really disappointing because I know this woman from many years ago, and cooperation was her stock in trade. The vp she's working for, as someone else described her, would eat her own children. It looks as though the vp's management style is rubbing off. Call it the "abu graib school of management". 12390. thoughtful - 11/30/2004 11:27:04 PM I do wish i had the presence of mind and grace of jackie o to handle situations like that better.
I always remember the story of how she invited martha stewart to a party. Martha showed up exceedingly late with no apologies. Jackie's response was to never again get martha's name right...Oh, hello Margot.
I would've loved to respond immediately with something like, "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention...did you just say something useful?"
I'm open to suggestions. 12391. Ms. No - 11/30/2004 11:40:01 PM Hmmm...tough call. You don't want to antagonize her and cause headaches for yourelf but at the same time she misspoke and should know it -- especially if she wants any kind of cooperation from you in future.
Perhaps just plain speaking would work. "I'm happy to keep you in the loop if you need. Did I do something to make you think threats of dire consequences were required to gain my cooperation? I'm not nearly so scary as all that, surely."
12392. Ms. No - 11/30/2004 11:40:50 PM I've been known to ask people if they're having a particularly stressful day --- leave them an out for their rudeness. 12393. thoughtful - 11/30/2004 11:49:37 PM Hmmm. I like your suggestion as it gets right to the heart of the issue, while allowing me to retain control...responding to her choice of communication style without challenging her message. Only problem is, it takes more presence of mind than I have when my bp is rising! I guess I need to practice that.
I was sorely tempted to respond, "Don't worry, if I do 'x' again, you will never hear about it." But that's not where I want to go with this.
Mind you, it's not like what i did was a bad thing...in fact it was a good thing and something they wish they'd done first...thus the attempt at a power grab.
But you're right, if they feel threatened by me, they really have problems.
And I really want to make the point to her that just because her boss' s.o.p. is to tear people new ones doesn't mean it's the best way to do things in this company. I think it would serve her well in the future to appreciate that. 12394. thoughtful - 11/30/2004 11:52:18 PM I like that stressful day one too...universally applicable. 12395. Magoseph - 11/30/2004 11:54:24 PM ... her boss' s.o.p
What's that, toughtful? 12396. thoughtful - 11/30/2004 11:55:14 PM sop= standard operating procedure...an army thing i think
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