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21634. Ulgine Barrows - 4/18/2007 8:27:39 AM My mother-in-law died.
She gets a 21-gun salute later in the month.
I will miss her. 21635. Ulgine Barrows - 4/18/2007 8:28:29 AM A lot. 21636. Magoseph - 4/18/2007 11:19:20 AM I'm very sorry for your loss, Ulgine. 21637. thoughtful - 4/18/2007 1:33:09 PM Ulgine, my condolences for your loss. 21638. judithathome - 4/18/2007 4:00:24 PM Add mine, Ulgine. 21639. wabbit - 4/18/2007 5:46:07 PM And mine, Ulgine, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother-in-law's passing. 21640. Magoseph - 4/18/2007 6:12:53 PM What I have understood and correct me if I'm wrong, Ulgine, your MIL was very supportive of you in your marriage. That's a rare gift to have from a MIL, in my opinion. I'm thinking of you. 21641. arkymalarky - 4/18/2007 11:01:02 PM I'm sorry about your mother-in-law, Ulgine. 21642. wonkers2 - 4/18/2007 11:26:43 PM What did she do to get a 21-gun salute? 21643. prolph - 4/19/2007 1:10:41 AM ulgine, i will be thinking of you in yoour loss, patsy 21644. alistairconnor - 4/19/2007 8:56:35 AM A big hug, Ulgine. 21645. Ulgine Barrows - 4/19/2007 11:08:24 AM Thank you all for the condolences.
This probably sounds sick, but I am looking forward to the ceremony. She is getting buried in a veteran's graveyard.
She was in the army in WW2. That's where she met my hubbie's dad. Hence, the 21 gun salute.
She was very special to me, especially after my own mom died.
She was a really neat lady. The mother-in-law jokes never applied to her. She was smart as a fox. I'll miss her. 21646. Ulgine Barrows - 4/19/2007 11:17:43 AM She died at home, just as she planned. No hospital or tubes. 21647. Magoseph - 4/19/2007 12:05:25 PM This probably sounds sick, but I am looking forward to the ceremony.
It is not sick to feel good about honoring a person who has meant so much to you. 21648. thoughtful - 4/19/2007 2:53:09 PM Sounds to me like she was fortunate to have a DIL like you who appreciated and respected her. 21649. Magoseph - 4/20/2007 7:01:25 AM Hi, Wiz. 21650. Ms. No - 4/20/2007 6:40:04 PM Oh, man, Ulgine, I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL. Definitely enjoy the ceremony, that's what it's for. To honor her and to comfort those left behind. 21651. Ulgine Barrows - 4/21/2007 9:46:18 AM Y'all are great. I think my MIL was smart as a fox.
Now, may I talk trash about the brother-in-law I've never liked? 21652. Ulgine Barrows - 4/21/2007 10:02:10 AM That knucklehead got up and said his mom wasn't clever.
I think they elected him cuz he is the only one with a college degree. O, mistake.
He came off as a Jethro, to me.
That lady was smart as a fox.
In his defense, his voice broke several times. Boo hoo, all around.
I didn't do so well when I buried my mom or dad, either, but I don't think I called them unclever.
Hah, I am here tonight to fight the forces of evil.
It was a lovely service.
It was a lovely service. My husband is going to change his morning routine to go into work 15 minutes later, to catch a cuppa for his dad so the dad won't feel so alone.
/off bitter than his mom wasn't worth that effort/ 21653. arkymalarky - 4/21/2007 3:55:57 PM Don't know the background, but she could be a lot of the reason for his effort with his dad. Bob's dad knew when he died that his life partner would not just be well cared for by their children, but that she would continue to have people in her daily life rather than being utterly alone for days that weren't holidays. Bob didn't interact with his dad daily until he had to be cared for physically and Bob's mother couldn't do it alone. But his dad was his best friend. He now calls his mother and talks at least an hour almost every day and sees her regularly. Before his dad died, though he did talk to her (Bob was always very close to both his parents) it was not often or that lengthy.
But then I look at parent/adult children interactions as something very personal and varying a great deal from child to child to parent to parent without necessarily revealing a great deal to others, even in the nuclear family. That holds true for my own parents, each individually, and their relationship with my brother as opposed to me. It's not better or worse, at least not to us--which is all that counts, but it's very different. It's not for me to say it should be different for any of the three of them, nor is it for my brother to say about the way we do. We are also a more contentious family than Bob's which unsettled Bob for about the first ten years, and he now realizes that he too has no place judging our relationships. We love each other every bit as much as his uncontentious (which also unsettled me--is this "normal"?) family loves each other.
He may also be putting a lot of focus on his dad to deal with the grief of his mother's passing, and because he wants to hold dearly to the one parent he has left. Either way, I imagine they've both suffered a tremendous loss and nead support of each other and other family and friends.
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