|
22115. wonkers2 - 6/27/2007 11:17:26 PM Here's a little story about a personal experience I had many years ago with a large woman. She was a reporter at a newspaper in Detroit, very bright, well-educated and quite a nice person. I dated her for several months despite the fact that I was put off a bit by the fact that she was a bit overweight. (At the age of 26 I was intent on finding the perfect mate and still not ready to compromise.)
On one of our dates we happened to run into a friend of mine who was a very nice guy but maybe ten years older than my girlfriend and I. I introduced her to Ray. He was short but quite a good tennis player, a successful stock broker and a very nice guy. When I saw him a few days later, he told me how wild he was about my date and asked if I minded if he asked her out. I told him I wouldn't mind. It turned out that Ray had a strong preference for large women. My recollection is that they went out a few times but she wasn't as attracted to him as he was to her. Perhaps she was bothered because she was a bit taller than he or their age difference or some other superficiality.
Anyway, in my experience, despite what we are fed by the media, men's physical preferences for women cover quite a broad spectrum. And individual men, such as the Cap'n, frequently are attracted to a variety of physically different women, provided they have a cheerful personality, a brain and are honest, decent people who aren't visibly missing any teeth. 22116. arkymalarky - 6/27/2007 11:22:02 PM No does have a great voice. Just got in and haven't hit the link yet, but I look forward to hearing it after I pack tonight. We're headed out in the morning, so if I don't pop back in here before then, y'all hold down the fort for a couple of weeks! Probably three, actually. 22117. wonkers2 - 6/27/2007 11:25:28 PM Some people are "inner-directed" and others more "other-directed" to borrow psych terms popular when I was in college. 22118. arkymalarky - 6/27/2007 11:27:04 PM And I saw Judith's dress and was there when she got the shoes. She's going to look fantastic. I hope y'all are well by then, Judith! 22119. wonkers2 - 6/27/2007 11:28:13 PM Thanks to Google for failing memories. David Riesman's "The Lonely Crowd" 22120. Magoseph - 6/27/2007 11:32:08 PM Just got in and haven't hit the link yet,..
Tell me where the link is, please? 22121. Ms. No - 6/27/2007 11:43:47 PM Hi Mago! It's at Message # 22089
I'm away from home and don't have the link to set a "news" item on the front page at the moment or I'd have put one there. 22122. Ms. No - 6/28/2007 12:13:34 AM Wonk,
I think most everyone has physical preferences about potential friends and lovers. Some people's preferences are more inflexible than others and sometimes we're just overwhelmed by another's personality so that whatever imperfections of physicality they present to us just don't matter as much ---- in this same way physically beautiful specimens become less desirable because of character or personality traits that annoy us.
We all want what we find attractive. Fortunately, people's tastes are hugely varied. Being conventionally attractive is an edge in the dating pool but so is being socially adept, charming, witty, fun. Other people add power or wealth or social standing to the mix and those can all play a part.
I've never lacked for male attention, but I've certainly encountered my share of malice or disdain. Unlike personality quirks, those who are fat, or too thin, or too short or tall or plain or downright ugly carry their flaws where everyone can see them immediately. We're visual creatures and when presented immediately with something we find distasteful there is an extra barrier to be crossed.
22123. wonkers2 - 6/28/2007 12:38:17 AM We're on the same wavelength. You put it better than I did. 22124. Ms. No - 6/28/2007 12:55:40 AM It's an interesting topic and one that's pretty much everywhere all the time --- who's attractive, what will make us more attractive, how do we find a mate, how do we keep a mate, how do we win friends and influence people.
The truth is that nobody feels completely normal and I think that's part of the reason we're always trying to define it --- so that we can define ourselves.
22125. wabbit - 6/28/2007 12:58:34 AM Arky, see Message # 22088. This one is inexpensive and easily found. I'm sure there are others. 22126. arkymalarky - 6/28/2007 1:45:20 AM Duh! I just noticed the Audacity link. Thanks!
No, y'all's discussion reminds me of married musicians I knew long ago in high school--she was breathtakingly gorgeous and he was dumpy, but both were very talented and great songwriters. She once wrote a song about a true event for her while they were performing once. She described this Adonis in the audience, and went into detail about his looks and their impact on her. The song shifts tone and melody completely with the last line: "But then what a big joke. You came up and spoke." 22127. arkymalarky - 6/28/2007 1:46:35 AM They're probably divorced now, btw. Haven't heard from them in decades and couldn't find them on the web. 22128. Ms. No - 6/28/2007 5:19:24 PM I'm bored out of my ever-livin' skull. This archiving project is a major pain in the ass and I can't seem to sit still to deal with it. I keep being drawn away to check my email or see if anyone's awake in the Mote.
But the project isn't going away and won't get any better for just staring at it. Mostly right now I'd like to take a nap and rest up for tonight, but that's not to be. Maybe I'll take a cat-nap during lunch.
Hell, it's not even 9:30 yet. I'm losing my mind. 22129. Ms. No - 6/28/2007 5:43:33 PM And now it's 9:45.
22130. judithathome - 6/28/2007 9:55:59 PM Great interview, MsNo...but did I hear correctly? In NYC, the stars were Jeremy Piven and.....Keri Russell? Are there other characters in this play?
You sounded so natural in the line reading and I LOVED your remark about waking up brunette.
I don't need to wish you luck because I know you'll do a stellar job...just have FUN with it! 22131. Ms. No - 6/28/2007 10:54:10 PM Thanks! I am!
Keri Russel played Jeannie. I'm not familiar with the actres who played Helen, but there just aren't that many large actresses in their 20's who are also famous. Andrew McCarthy played Tom --- Tom & Helen are the couple. Jeannie and Carter are Tom's friends/co-workers. 22132. alistairconnor - 6/29/2007 8:08:11 AM The physical preference discussion has had me chuckling. I have a strong and compelling preference for dark-haired women. Always have. And I've always, always ended up with blondes... until this time...
I put it down to chance, and the fact that physical factors are not the most important. But just recently I have accumulated some fairly objective statistical evidence that blondes are attracted to me much more than brunettes.
I mean, I never imagined I was in control or anything, but really. 22133. alistairconnor - 6/29/2007 8:48:47 AM Still haven't heard the sexy Nyetskaya, I haven't been at home, and the maiden aunts in the network dept won't let us access mp3 files from work.
For a few weeks just recently I was in a slow-motion courtship ritual with a big, big lady. We like each other a lot but never got to the point where I could find out whether size was going to be an obstacle or not... 22134. Ms. No - 6/29/2007 5:22:54 PM I've never dated a truly fat man. I occasionally find them attractive and have been known to get swoony over Marlon Brando in his later years, John Goodman and Jack Black -- who isn't really fat but merely barrel-built with a bit of padding. As for real-life encounters, though, I've never been with a man even remotely approaching my BMI.
On the other hand it would never occur to me to say that such men aren't dateable or that they should be ridiculed or disdained for their appearance. I think people should be ridiculed and disdained for their actions and their lack of compassion or intelligence, not for how they look---unless they happen to be the sort of person who pokes fun at others' appearance and then I consider them fair game. ;->
|
