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22332. Ulgine Barrows - 7/31/2007 8:47:01 AM

22324. thoughtful
I am sad to read the news. How are you doing?
Your quip of duct tape tells me you are broken, but bearing up.

Damn suicides, you always think you should have seen a sign!

If you have a good memory of your brother you'd care to share, please do; and if not, I understand anger.

22333. Macnas - 7/31/2007 8:51:01 AM

Thougtful

That's sad news girl, and I'm sorry to hear it.

22334. thoughtful - 7/31/2007 5:24:06 PM

I really appreciate your kind thoughts, J@h, mags, ulgine and Macnas.

I'm hard pressed to come up with a good memory of him.

Perhaps the fact that some strange woman he knew called me after he died to tell me he blamed me for everything that went wrong in his life has something to do with it...

22335. wabbit - 7/31/2007 5:29:35 PM

wtf is wrong with people? How small and spiteful of her. Honestly, I don't understand people anymore.

22336. thoughtful - 7/31/2007 5:48:29 PM

Then she had the balls to end the call with, I'm so glad I called you....I'm feeling much better now...

22337. thoughtful - 7/31/2007 5:51:47 PM

Of course, desperate to replace the gape my SIL's death left in his life, he'd asked this woman to marry him the day before he died and she said no.

Obviously, she had to lay her own guilt on someone else...just as I was for my brother, I became her dumping ground too.

22338. wabbit - 7/31/2007 6:29:26 PM

Of course, she accepts no responsibility for her role at all. Unreal.

Well, for what it's worth, I've always known you to be the very best kind of person.

22339. thoughtful - 7/31/2007 6:39:53 PM

Thanks wabbit. It means a lot!

22340. wonkers2 - 7/31/2007 10:43:53 PM

Sorry about your brother, Thoughtful and for the call from the evil woman who called you after his death. I'm sure you don't deserve the guilt trip she tried to lay on you.

22341. alistairConnor - 7/31/2007 10:50:35 PM

People have to live their own lives, after all, and they have to go to hell their own way. It's sad that some people, as adults, get stuck in a rut of family relationships. It's not supposed to govern our lives. We're supposed to grow beyond it.

I'm really sorry Thoughtful, there are no short cuts to get through the suffering, but we're here to back you up.

22342. anomie - 7/31/2007 11:59:05 PM

Sorry to read of your latest loss, Thoughtful.

22343. anomie - 8/1/2007 12:02:15 AM

Ms No, Have you wrapped the play? Needless to say, I'm sorry I missed it. Had it worked out to go up to Sac, but after chasing down new credit cards (Mine were stolen in Rome), I was short on time. I was all set to rent a car and realised I didn't have a drivers license. After all that, and with the actual blisters on my feet, I didn't feel much like traveling.

22344. Jenerator - 8/1/2007 3:28:29 AM

Thoughtful,


When my father died, his fiancee basically went into his condo and took everything. The three of us kids were left with virtually no personal momentos or pictures of him. Death (and weddings) bring out the best and worst in people. I am glad you're able to put this into perspective. You are an amazingly strong woman!

22345. thoughtful - 8/1/2007 2:20:59 PM

Thanks so much for your kind words, wonks, ac, anomie & jen.

You're right, ac...people have to go to hell in their own way. I'm just trying to shuck the hell others have put on me. Normally, I'm pretty good at shaking it off, but this time, it's a lot harder...and that's what surprises me the most...that I'm struggling with it. I suppose though that I shouldn't be surprised. We've had so much bad news and it hasn't even been a year. Before I'm able to bounce back from the prior one, another one comes along. Something keeps opening up the same wound before it can heal. And my role has always been to be the strong one, to keep the rest of the family going in times of crisis. Funny, I'm not feeling particularly strong any more.

Eventually though, I'll run out of loved ones to worry about and then perhaps life will be simpler. As it is, my mother's been trying to get in touch with my uncle to tell him the news and hasn't heard back. He's in his 70s, arthritic and lives alone in another state with his wife who has severe alzheimers. Maybe just more bad news waiting for us....

22346. Ms. No - 8/1/2007 5:56:57 PM

Ano,

Ai-yi-yi, sorry to hear about the credit card hassle. That's just an annoying thing to have to deal with. We're wrapping up this weekend -- they extended us a week which we were all really glad about. I'm going to be sad when it's all over. I've had a wonderful time.

22347. anomie - 8/1/2007 7:02:35 PM

Well I guess that's good news for you then, Ms No...maybe the start of a new career. Sorry I missed you.

22348. Ms. No - 8/1/2007 7:36:56 PM

Do let me know if you're ever in the area. I'd love to meet up for coffee!

22349. Magoseph - 8/2/2007 5:16:41 PM

22350. Magoseph - 8/2/2007 5:18:08 PM

Ah, families!

22351. thoughtful - 8/2/2007 6:48:55 PM

Can't live with them and can't live without them...

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