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23752. Ms. No - 3/7/2008 9:39:54 PM And no, I didn't read the journal and my brother wouldn't have told me what was in it except that I was making noises about how maybe after some time apart they could work things out.
Even he thought they might have some chance of that until he saw what she wrote about his son. 23753. arkymalarky - 3/7/2008 10:14:51 PM I feel for all of you, No. It will get ugly, unfortunately, because of the way she's being and dealing with things in court. Bro went through it a few years ago with my niece, and time did make it better, but it was very rough. It also got worse when his ex was being such a flake and he was worried to death about what environment his daughter was in. She's since straightened out, thankfully, but at the time Bro had zero power to do anything. Get a great lawyer and fight like hell for as many rights as he can get and nurture and insulate Paxton as much as the whole family can, is all the advice I got out of Bro's experience. That, and the realization that keeping the children at the forefront of everything when 1) their mother won't and 2) you'd like to rip her eyes out is extremely difficult. I still can't stand her--as much because she's an idiot as anything--but my parents, to their credit and great benefit, get along with her very well. If anyone in your family can keep communication positive with her it will help a whole lot in a number of ways. 23754. Ms. No - 3/8/2008 12:30:45 AM The good news is that they don't hate each other and things are pretty amicable. My brother has been through custody hell before so he's doing everything he can to make sure this doesn't get ugly. To my sil's credit she does love her children and wants them to have a relationship with my brother.
Also, no matter what she may have complained about to her family they will not see my brother as an enemy. This is a case of two people who fell out of love and want different things. He hasn't abused her, neither of them was unfaithful, nothing ugly happened.
However, J's got problems now because she's a flake with no job, no savings, no friends and lousy credit. She couldn't even get an apartment on her own because of her financial situation. The smart thing to do would be to move in with her mother but she doesn't want to do that because her mother makes her crazy.
My brother had to explain to her that "getting a divorce" means that she's going to have to get a job and help support herself. She was actually indignant that he's not willing to couch-surf for the forseeable future so that his salary can pay all her expenses.
She's in for a rude awakening after all her poor-me crap about how she was surviving and raising children on her own. She's sort of always felt that way, though. Her concept of reality is just skewed. And of course it makes me want to swat my brother because he never put his foot down about it before and so things just got worse and worse. 23755. Ms. No - 3/8/2008 12:33:05 AM I'm just glad I won't have to see her for a bit until I've calmed down about the journal shit. At this very moment I'd be hard pressed to be civil, but in a couple of days I'll have it under control and when next I see her it'll be fine. I certainly don't want to jeopardize being able to see Maddox and Addison especially since they're now only about an hour and a half away from me. 23756. arkymalarky - 3/8/2008 1:17:07 AM Self-absorption is an American epidemic.
It's good people seem to be on good terms. Your brother's got a lot of maturity and control, it sounds like to me, based on what was in that journal. 23757. Ms. No - 3/8/2008 1:24:28 AM Yeah, but he's got lousy taste in women. ;-> 23758. arkymalarky - 3/8/2008 1:35:14 AM He has that in common with my brother. If it's any consolation, third time was a charm with Bro. I really like his wife. 23759. judithathome - 3/8/2008 1:41:52 AM but he's got lousy taste in women
The lament of sisters and mothers everywhere....
Sorry to hear about this mess w/your bro. 23760. Ms. No - 3/8/2008 1:46:41 AM Thanks J
Arx,
Yeah, I think it'll be awhile before we hit that third time, though. I mean, my bro's 34 with three kids by two exes and is geographically bound by these now extended families. There are a lot of challenges for a woman coming into that.
I just hope that the next time he does this he finds a woman with a career and a life of her own who doesn't need him to take care of her.....only that neediness seems to be a big pull for him.
Anyway, odds are that by the time he's actually ready to get serious again, his age bracket will weed out some of the losers. ;-> 23761. Ms. No - 3/8/2008 1:55:44 AM It's funny, I was talking with my step-dad about this and he was lamenting the problems ahead for all of the kids in their future personal relationships and I was pointing out that however awesome our mom is neither my brother nor I are good at romance.
But at least I KNOW I have lousy taste in men. ;->
To which my step-father replied "I guess that means you're not bringing anyone for Easter dinner, huh?" 23762. arkymalarky - 3/8/2008 3:18:20 AM Anyway, odds are that by the time he's actually ready to get serious again, his age bracket will weed out some of the losers. ;->
Or at least get him to women with grown kids. 23763. wonkers2 - 3/8/2008 5:54:17 AM I spent three days in Omaha this week on a little consulting job that fell in my lap recently. I'd forgotten how friendly and accommodating and on the ball Nebraskans and Iowans are aside from the fact that so many are Republicans. It was a refreshing surprise. Downtown Omaha is thriving in contrast to many other decaying urban centers. 23764. Jenerator - 3/9/2008 1:35:14 AM Gosh Ms. No - that IS a depressing story. My heart goes out to you, your brother, the kids and the rest of the family. 23765. jexster - 3/9/2008 3:08:44 AM Anything looks good next to the Failed State of MI Wonkers..
My late partner was from Omaha...tell me all about Omaha and he'll roll over in his grave 23766. jexster - 3/9/2008 3:10:04 AM New computer screen cleaner 23767. Ms. No - 3/9/2008 3:32:36 AM Thanks, Jen
My brother was in last night and we went out to dinner and had a couple beers later. A good night -- things are stressful getting mom and the kids moved and settled but all in all going as smoothly as possible. He's actually staying there tonight with her family so I'm really encouraged.
He did bring me a funny story about my oldest nephew who seems to be handling things well according to the counselor who's checking up on him.
Paxton is afraid of bees. A couple of days ago he and my bro were out at the park and a bee buzzed them and Paxton scampered yelling "A bee! A bee, Daddy!"
My brother said "It's just a bee."
Paxton: "I'm scared of bees, Dad."
Bro: "Paxton, you've never been stung by a bee."
Paxton: "But Dad, I don't want to be stung by a bee."
Hey, you can't argue with that logic! Auntie C has been avoiding bee stings in just that manner all her life.
23768. David Ehrenstein - 3/9/2008 3:35:24 AM Just in case you're not feeling GAY enough. 23769. thoughtful - 3/9/2008 5:04:19 PM So sorry about the family issues, MsNo. I have no words of wisdom to offer other than you're not alone. I've long ago decided that a normal family is dysfunctional and a 'functional' family, whatever that is, is totally abnormal.
Families...can't live with them and can't live without them. 23770. Magoseph - 3/10/2008 7:53:01 PM Good afternoon! 23771. iiibbb - 3/11/2008 5:17:29 AM Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...
... I'm at a conference in my hotel room and I can't find my wedding ring.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...
The security people won't let me in the room where I know I had it off my finger because it was itching a bit. I don't know if I dropped it or not.
sigh.
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