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23808. alistairconnor - 3/18/2008 5:04:25 PM Oh shitty shitty fuck.
He's done it. The stepson has been drop-kicked out of his high school.
His behaviour is way out of order. It might just about be non-expulsion grade in one of the rougher public schools, but this is a fairly snotty catholic school. And other kids' parents have been complaining about him.
And it happened on Friday, and we learned about it today.
The worst of it is, I'm part of the problem, from his point of view... I come between him and his mother... bad experience with a previous stepfather... he has never known his father.
So I've decided we have to address that aspect at least. The father is apparently living with his mother, and a young Congolese wife, in Barcelona. I've been talking about setting up a meeting, I think I'm going to force the issue and take him there this Easter weekend. (We were planning a family bike trip, but the weather's going to be crappy anyway.)
Might make a good road movie. 23809. arkymalarky - 3/18/2008 6:11:36 PM Good luck. Bro is going thru a similar situation with one of his three stepsons and it's very stressful. The dad has been zero help. 23810. iiibbb - 3/18/2008 6:56:11 PM My weight loss has come in spurts over the past 2 years. My worst weight was about 210 lb, but I usually hovered in the 200-205 lbs range.
I quit drinking soda (I was drinking way too much during the PhD) and was down to 195 within a month. I started swimming (built up to about 2 k, but generally swim 1-1.5 k 3 times a week, and try to do that within 30-45 minutes). I have changed my diet gradually, mostly by reducing portion size and after dinner snacking. I never really ate dessert before. After a year, year and a half I was hovering from 180-185 lbs
Last September I added running 1-3 miles 2 times a week to the routine. It used to kill my knees, but I was jealous of my wife's portable exercise. It helped buying some quality running shoes. I also started eating yogurt for dessert. That took me down to about 176-180 lbs.
Around Christmas, I dropped another 5 for no apparent reason except that I've settled into a routine. I think my metabolism has caught up with my activity level. I now exercise 3-5 times a week. I allow myself a soda every once in a while, mostly on trips. It's interesting that now the caffine jolt actually works now.
I am now hovering in the 172-176 lb range. I attribute the vast majority of my weight loss to regular cardio exercise and reducing junk food. I haven't tried to restrict specific things from my diet... I might be eating less starch (bread), less rich stuff like ice cream (which I have a weakness for). I generally don't take seconds.
I dunno. It's taken a 2 years to lose this much. The losses definitely came in spurts rather than a steady decline. The last 5 lbs were a surprise and I could stand to lose another 5 lbs, but I'm very happy with where I've gotten given the rather simple changes I had to incorporate to my life. I'm glad I stuck with them. I will say that my goal was more about improving my cardio-vascular condition than weight loss.
Be patient and good luck.
23811. iiibbb - 3/18/2008 7:01:39 PM Every once in a while 1% wish I rode a motorcycle. It seems like a lot of fun. But the other 99% usually is successful in reminding me that it's not a question of if you have an accident but when.
I have at least 2 friends that should be dead because of them. One of them fell asleep driving cross country and wound up flipping down the highway about 8 times. He got lucky; a couple of pins in his wrist. He has more lives than a cat. I think lung-disease is going to get him though (smoker).
I may one day get a convertible... but gas prices what they are, probably not. 23812. iiibbb - 3/18/2008 7:06:32 PM Good luck with the stepson.
My uncle had a step-son who wound up OD'ing on heroin. Nick was always a bit of a handful when we were growing up. Wouldn't listen to my uncle, and my uncle never figured it out. Come to think of it, it can't be any easier if it's your own kid. What can you do if they are so determined? At some point they have to take ownership of their behavior, you can't live their life for them.
I hope any kid that I have will be at least an obedient one. 23813. alistairconnor - 3/18/2008 7:26:44 PM Opinions are mixed about the daddy-trip idea (i.e. mother and son are against it). Maybe it's not the moment.
The best thing would be to get him into a boarding school, where he can become his own man. I think. 23814. arkymalarky - 3/18/2008 7:29:59 PM I always told my students that I could handle 30 of them in one room better than I could handle one at home. 23815. arkymalarky - 3/18/2008 7:32:22 PM I have a sudden incentive to get my weight on down to target (15-20 more lbs). We're going to FL at the end of June. 23816. alistairconnor - 3/18/2008 7:33:59 PM Well I wonder how you would get on with stepson!
Actually I know... he would love you, work hard for you, be a positive dynamising influence in your classes.
And still make hell with the other teachers. 23817. alistairconnor - 3/18/2008 7:36:51 PM I am stuck on 75 kg in spite of taking regular exercise for the first time in my life (as documented elsewhere).
I suppose it must be heavy muscle replacing light fat eh?
I would be happier with 5 kg less given my skinny build, but I'm pretty much reconciled to my current shape. At least I've stopped the rot. 23818. arkymalarky - 3/18/2008 7:52:24 PM Awww, thanks Alistair! 23819. wonkers2 - 3/19/2008 5:24:43 AM Jex & Ms. No, I'll be in the Bay area this Saturday through the following Thursday. Let me know if you'd like to get together for lunch or a beer and we can figure out how to get in touch. [I don't have an email address or phone # for either of you.] 23820. Ms. No - 3/19/2008 6:05:13 AM Hiya Wonk! I'd love to get together. Email me at bridgeburner99 -- that's a yahoo address. 23821. judithathome - 3/19/2008 7:48:32 PM The news at my son's neurosurgeon's couldn't have been worse yesterday...well, actually, it could have been and WAS since there were very graphic pictures, too.
We all have 2 arteries in our necks leading to either side of our brains...they supply all the blood to the brain. My son now has only one and it is crimped in one place...the other one is gone. You can see where it just went away...this huge empty space where a thick little artery should be. The doctor said it was caused by the last massive stroke he had. That part of the artery just died off.
So today Leslie is back in Dallas having an MRI (his daughter drove because he will have to be sedated and driven home after and I can't drive in Dallas) and after he studies that, the doctor will decide whether to do a stent or an angioplasty on the one remaining artery in Leslie's brain. The doctor was very strict in pointing out that this is a dangerous operation because when he does this surgery usually, there is always a back-up artery on the other side...which my son no longer has.
23822. judithathome - 3/19/2008 7:59:34 PM Someone asked me what caused the artery to disappear like that; it "blew out" with his last stroke. There is nothing to be done in that regard...the part of the artery that is left has curved around and attached to a vein and is circulating a little blood back on itself. The doctor said that is not unusal but it precludes any "hooking up" of that artery to the main artery that circles the brain on the top. That one is the "mover and shaker" so to speak, and the other two feed it...or in my son's case, the other ONE feeds it.
As to where its gone, I have no idea...like any vein or artery that "dies", I guess it just sort of dissolves. I wanted to ask the doctor where it had gone but the converstion moved on...
The doctor will call with the results before Friday. He flat out told us that there is a 10-20% chance the surgery on the other artery will not work or leave him worse off than he is now. So it's pretty nerve-wracking to sit here waiting to get the news.
That was the most harrowing trip to Dallas I've ever made...the weather was so bad. I guess it was sort of a good thing we had our minds on other things or we'd have freaked out for sure at the driving conditions.
23823. thoughtful - 3/19/2008 8:37:53 PM J@h, I'm so sorry to hear the news. I can tell you though that it is essential to get a very well practiced surgeon for this operation. My brother had one artery blocked 90% and the other 95%. He was getting so little blood to his brain that it was affecting his vision to the point that they pulled his commercial drivers license. He too had had a stroke. One doctor locally started the operation and closed him up again saying it was more than he could handle. So they sent him to NYC and the doc there did the surgery just fine. They put a stent in his neck. It restored his vision. So while the operation is serious, it has been done a lot, a practiced surgeon can do it very well and as even the statistics you site say, it comes out just fine the vast majority of the time.
Fingers crossed and sending good vibes your way. 23824. iiibbb - 3/19/2008 8:41:57 PM Sorry to hear the bad news. I hope the situation improves. Good luck 23825. arkymalarky - 3/19/2008 8:42:33 PM Damn, Judith. I'm so sorry to hear that. Please keep us posted. 23826. wonkers2 - 3/19/2008 10:18:06 PM Sorry about your son, Judith. We'll keep our fingers crossed. 23827. judithathome - 3/19/2008 10:28:45 PM it is essential to get a very well practiced surgeon for this operation.
Oh, this guy is good; he's rated as the best in this area...he was recommended by Leslie's doctor because he's so good and that's why we're driving to Dallas to meet with him rather than settling for a local guy.
Les just called and said he got through the MRI without sedation. This is a milestone for him because he is so claustrophobic. He sounded extremely upbeat, too.
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