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25343. alistairConnor - 6/6/2009 10:50:54 PM Younger daughter's 12th birthday today. She threw a party for a couple of dozen friends, most of them two years older than her, because she's ahead at school. My beloved girlfriend helped her with shopping, preparing food, setting up, etc, but it was my elder daughter, nearly 16, who ran the show.
And who behaved very badly towards my beloved and her son : arrogant, dismissive, condescending : they were both fuming mad, and I had to persuade them not to head back to town to their place.
I confronted the elder daughter about it, and she acknowledged that she found it impossible to get along with them. Two problems : she feels (wrongly) that I love them more than her, and she feels that they are insincere and manipulative.
I felt we were finally getting somewhere, I wanted to concentrate on the problems in my relationship with her, considering the others as innocent bystanders, but she kept coming back to them, explaining that she could never feel comfortable at home with those people around.
My beloved then intervened, disastrously, in the discussion, in anger and wounded pride. My daughter stormed out of the house, announcing that she wanted to go to her mother's. My beloved announced that she was going back to town with her son, asked me to return her keys, and said I could pick up my stuff on Monday.
Not a good weekend so far. 25344. alistairConnor - 6/6/2009 10:59:16 PM I've been thinking about this accusation of insincerity.
I've concluded that it's a cultural misunderstanding. My beloved and her son are of North African Arab culture. A certain amount of superficial insincerity is part of normal social intercourse, and tells one nothing about the fundamental honesty or fidelity of an individual. As it happens, my beloved is one of the most sincere people I know, constantly in trouble with her colleagues and bosses for saying what she really thinks, steadfast in friendship, solid as a rock.
And my daughter has judged her on her social graces. To make things worse, my ex-wife is a veritable fundamentalist of sincerity, so my daughter has unrealistically high ideals. I explained to her that it was all a misunderstanding, that to judge people on epidermic reactions to cultural differences like that is the very essence of racism. I hope she will sleep on that. 25345. arkymalarky - 6/7/2009 12:25:56 AM Sounds like a difficult time for all of you. Good luck navigating through it. 25346. macnas - 6/8/2009 12:37:20 PM Holy feck, I remembered my password!
25347. wabbit - 6/8/2009 1:32:45 PM Hey macnas!! How are you?! 25348. arkymalarky - 6/8/2009 1:34:16 PM Hey Mac! 25349. judithathome - 6/8/2009 1:35:01 PM Macnas, so glad you DID!
Alistair...that sounds like a very uncomfortable situation. Added to the fact your daughter is in the throes of hormonal surges and at an age of rebellion against parental oversight, she is also at the age where she thinks she absolutely knows everything there is to know about the world and nothing you can say will convince her otherwise. Also, I suspect there is a lot of jealousy of the "new kid" when she has been the princess of her daddy's eye all these many years.
It will take time but she WILL outgrow it. Hope it's in time to save your relationship. 25350. macnas - 6/8/2009 2:33:00 PM Wabbit arky Judith hello hello hello.
Hope all is well, was trying to tidy up my favourites lists and saw this place, been a while but surprisingly the password just tripped off my fingertips, thank you muscle memory. 25351. alistairConnor - 6/8/2009 9:26:29 PM Well how's the emerald isle, pleasantly slipping back into the late Neolithic she left just a couple of decades ago? 25352. alistairconnor - 6/9/2009 3:19:19 PM My mere presence seems to be enough to empty any pub.
Hey Mac, you guys certainly tossed your toys out of the pram in a most authoritative fashion! Nothing's quite as satisfying as punching the government's lights out. I pity the Greens though -- a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like a nun who just happens to be in the speakeasy when the constabulary arrives. 25353. alistairconnor - 6/9/2009 3:20:36 PM What about the cricket eh?
(For the profane : Ireland's team of amateur cricketers have blasted their way into the final eight of the world 20/20 championship.) 25354. Ms. No - 6/10/2009 7:57:36 AM I'm just lucky I moved away from LA shortly after discovering Gaelic football. If I hadn't left I'd have a barstool at Ireland's 32 permanently attached to my backside.
25355. macnas - 6/10/2009 11:29:53 AM The Greens, hmm, well, I have been listening to the post mortem ever since the numbers were tallied, and there has been one silly thing after another, this reason, this excuse. Some of its valid-ish, but the plain facts are, the Green partys votes from the last election did not actually mean they had that much actual support or that many believers. And when all of a sudden people have to start paying through the knob for green policy, the shine goes off the concept very quickly. 25356. macnas - 6/10/2009 11:31:02 AM Cricket, I could care less about it, win lose or draw. 25357. macnas - 6/10/2009 11:34:33 AM Christine I'm laughing at the idea of a pub called Ireland 32, in Los Angeles. It might as well say "The Brits Out Bar", but having just read what I typed that sounds like a gay club for UK ex-pats.
25358. Ms. No - 6/10/2009 3:36:59 PM Yeah, it's an ex-pat bar. They open at 6am on weekends so folks can come in and watch their Irish teams live. It's a cavey little place, but one of my favorites. I always try to make a trip by there when I get back down to LA. 25359. Ms. No - 6/10/2009 3:37:55 PM I hadn't noticed a large number of homosexuals there. Usually I bring my own. 25360. alistairconnor - 6/10/2009 5:31:57 PM Damn, I won't be able to meaningfully gloat. The opening match of the Super 8 is tomorrow, and it's NZ vs Ireland. 25361. marjoribanks - 6/11/2009 5:45:32 AM Greetings, inmates.
Not that I've been paying attention very much, but it strikes me that the swift withering of Green politics in Ireland and other parts of Western Europe merely underlines the unsustainably elitist character of environmentalism in Europe. The moment push comes to shove, the mass of visible Greens look like the effete, extremist wankers they are, and people vote for a narrow conception of "thinking of the pocketbook."
25362. marjoribanks - 6/11/2009 6:11:23 AM I must fess to the reason why I very rarely visit here, and have basically stopped posting.
It is simply this, I've been rumbled.
Like others from the earliest days at this site and its predecessor, across a period that seems like aeons, I spent vast amounts of time posting here on innumerable topics, have made many close and true friends, and there are probably still enemies lurking out there. Some of the most unique and amazing relationships of my life have come right here, no need to list them.
I never wanted this site to be archived - I railed about it way back when, you can check. Because it is, people have found their way back here.
The Mote is not accursed Facebook. This site, with its bunch of misfits, has been a haven for me sometimes, a writing workshop other times, the best corner bar ever very often. I do not wish to post handcuffed. In fact, I find it impossible to post handcuffed.
This isn't goodbye, of course. I know better than that.
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