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25507. judithathome - 8/7/2009 7:28:19 PM It's a wise child who knows.....
;-) 25508. Ms. No - 8/8/2009 3:36:53 AM Hey, when did you do Five-O???? 25509. arkymalarky - 8/8/2009 4:04:40 AM July 30! So the gathering was extra special for me this year. But it was extra special for a lot of reasons. 25510. arkymalarky - 8/8/2009 5:09:25 AM July 30! So the gathering was extra special for me this year. But it was extra special for a lot of reasons. 25511. Ms. No - 8/8/2009 5:46:06 PM A very happy belated, Arky! I did raise a glass last weekend thinking of you all and knowing what a wonderful time was being had. Making the trip out with Judith and Keoni that year is still one of my absolute best vacations! 25512. judithathome - 8/8/2009 6:36:55 PM Well, we've decided that in addition to Ronnie's infamous brisket, next year we're going to try and do Shoyu (Hawaiian) Chicken, too.
Might have to cook it all day at Jim's house if Ronnie does the brisket at your place. But that would not be a problem...wait...does he even HAVE an oven? 25513. Ms. No - 8/8/2009 7:20:15 PM Ooh, Judith! Does Keoni have a recipe for Khaluah pork that I don't have to dig a pit in the backyard for? 25514. arkymalarky - 8/8/2009 10:22:50 PM Hmm. Good question! Danny does, and he's as close. 25515. arkymalarky - 8/8/2009 10:23:44 PM You have GOT to get back down here for another one, No! 25516. Ms. No - 8/9/2009 12:50:19 AM Yeah, I definitely do. I'm pretty sure that next year is out --- I may very well be in the Teach for America program at that point, but the year after that? I'll do my darnedest! 25517. arkymalarky - 8/9/2009 1:07:17 AM Ha! I'll mark my calendar. It'll be Bob's 60th, so it should be great! 25518. judithathome - 8/9/2009 3:22:00 PM Does Keoni have a recipe for Khaluah pork that I don't have to dig a pit in the backyard for?
You should know better than that! He was telling some guy at the birthday party last night how to do it and the first thing he said was "Dig a pit...."
Ha!
25519. arkymalarky - 8/9/2009 5:07:28 PM I can't wait until y'all get back here, Judith--I finished the room! Hopefully it will be painted by then, too! 25520. judithathome - 8/10/2009 4:50:09 PM I'm hoping we can come in the fall...depends on whether Keoni is planning to go to Hawaii in November. 25521. arkymalarky - 8/11/2009 1:35:34 AM That'd be great! 25522. rdbrewer - 8/12/2009 8:17:27 AM Here is my FaceBook page. I wrote something on it a few hours ago. Erased it. And put it back up because it was eating at me.
"That weird feeling I got in the restaurant is still on my mind. Got up and left. No, not a bellyache. Tingly weird. Must have been the ants crawling all over my body."
I just realized what it was. My ex-father-in-law was there. I never focused on his face, though, partly because I had my reading glasses on; partly because I felt the sensation immediatly and was looking round and round from the first second. Funny how the subconscious can see things we don't. Anyway. He's the closest thing to a father I've ever had. And he didn't greet me. Considering the things a BPD DID, etc., sufferer will make up--because, really, they don't know--I guess it's not a surprise. It hurts, though. I've been forgiving in a Christian way all along. Looks like they're not going to. And, if you'll look at some of my trust mistakes listed in #25475 above, that cost me everything I ever worked for. Like I said at Ace's I could have gone many different ways before I met her, like starting the restructuring of my business, finishing my house (only 40 days out), locking in the equity, and spending two weeks in Brazil. In fact, that was my very plan.
And here, I mentioned why I'm being painted black. It's similar to my post at #25475, but much greater detail. I wasn't there. I didn't do it. She's unblameworthy. I know I pushed too hard. But I didn't do it.
It's frustrating. I'm now black evil because of someone's most primitive, subjectivity-driven, surreal, ego protection mechanisms, which are perfectly understandable, considering what she's been through. But. I didn't do it. I just tried to get her to stop drinking because her son, the only boy to ever call me "dad"--the most wonderful word I've ever heard--expressed his concern in private. I screwed-up the attempt, of course, out of arrogance and marked ignorance of the depth of her underlying condition. But I'm not one of the creatures from the dark past. It's not fair to paint me with that brush. She has little choice, I know that. But they know better. In fact, I put her ahead of me in everything. She made all the big decisions. I carried them out. Like I said, I'm Co-D. That's why I lost everything.
(continued)
25523. rdbrewer - 8/12/2009 8:18:09 AM I'm ranting, because it stings really hard. I love that man. You have to believe your little girl, of course, but he should know better. If you read the texts, like mine, heh, these people make-up or mold reality at will. Stepping on you proves to them they're not "a bad person." If you look bad, how can they look bad? Of course, no one said they were bad; no one tried to make them look bad, but, for them, any criticism is taken as a statement they're bad. Thus, no apologies, however warranted; kick in the defense afterburners, and knock 'em down. That way, you're safe.
I'm not complaining about her. I understand her and forgive her. And if she needs a bad guy, I'll be it. I'm just hurt he didn't say hi.
You know, maybe he thought I saw him first and purposely didn't say anything. I hope not. That would mean, of course, I'm even more of an asshole. I really hope not. In that case, couldn't God, the fates, Evis, or Abraham Lincoln have told me to lose the glasses before getting outta the car?
/rant
But I really love that guy. 25524. iiibbb - 8/12/2009 8:33:36 AM I'm having a rough night.
I'm trying to stay positive, but I've not had success as of yet in finding a job here. I'm not sure how to do it. I've always followed my career places, and I pulled the plug on my job in MS for my wife. Now I'm in a new place trying to network, but it's starting to stall a bit and it's just starting to make me worry.
I've got an application out for a post doc that I thought I'd at least get an interview for, but that's been out there a while now so I'm not confident I'm even getting a look.
I'm a complete neophyte with regards to looking for work. I'm specialized and I hate talking about myself. I don't know how to market myself at all.
I'm lucky because my leave of absence means there's no gap in my employment on paper, but in October that's going to go away and then I'm going to be somewhere I never thought I'd be.
I've given up a lot, and put quite a bit on the line for the sake of my marriage. I sure hope I get some movement soon, but I feel a bit stymied about what to do.
Do those headhunting services work? I find that I am skeptical about them, but maybe they would be a vehicle for finding work where I could perform, but have to hard of a time picturing myself to make the connection.
I don't know. 25525. iiibbb - 8/12/2009 8:35:25 AM We did get the house rented in MS although it doesn't cover the mortgage... it's better than nothing. If we can sell it next year for our current asking price it's better than dropping the price any more now. We managed to get some non-student tenants too. 25526. rdbrewer - 8/12/2009 8:39:08 AM
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