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25524. iiibbb - 8/12/2009 8:33:36 AM

I'm having a rough night.

I'm trying to stay positive, but I've not had success as of yet in finding a job here. I'm not sure how to do it. I've always followed my career places, and I pulled the plug on my job in MS for my wife. Now I'm in a new place trying to network, but it's starting to stall a bit and it's just starting to make me worry.

I've got an application out for a post doc that I thought I'd at least get an interview for, but that's been out there a while now so I'm not confident I'm even getting a look.

I'm a complete neophyte with regards to looking for work. I'm specialized and I hate talking about myself. I don't know how to market myself at all.

I'm lucky because my leave of absence means there's no gap in my employment on paper, but in October that's going to go away and then I'm going to be somewhere I never thought I'd be.


I've given up a lot, and put quite a bit on the line for the sake of my marriage. I sure hope I get some movement soon, but I feel a bit stymied about what to do.

Do those headhunting services work? I find that I am skeptical about them, but maybe they would be a vehicle for finding work where I could perform, but have to hard of a time picturing myself to make the connection.

I don't know.

25525. iiibbb - 8/12/2009 8:35:25 AM

We did get the house rented in MS although it doesn't cover the mortgage... it's better than nothing. If we can sell it next year for our current asking price it's better than dropping the price any more now. We managed to get some non-student tenants too.

25526. rdbrewer - 8/12/2009 8:39:08 AM

25527. rdbrewer - 8/12/2009 8:40:57 AM

Must have had an open tag there. Here is another thing I wrote at TPW:

"Psychological honesty is precious. As I mentioned upthread, these things are stealthy. If psychological honesty becomes a goal, these mechanisms have to be monitored and beaten back over and over. This is probably very nearly impossible without at least some counseling. BUT. Once past a certain hurdle, it's easy. And try to avoid thinking I'm universalizing my own experience. Dr. Richardson hit on this in quotes I posted upthread. We are flawed beings. Easy to recite, but real acceptance of those words is another matter. Monitoring for these whack-a-mole background programs becomes a piece of cake once you understand that you are designed to screw up. We're the screw-up species, Homo Sapiens Sapiens Screw-up. Once you expect to screw up, the self-bullshit mechanisms are much less important. What would be the need at that point? They're hardly required. Recall the following quote from above, "Once these inner experiences are properly understood consciously, you can begin to live an emotionally open and honest life, and your unhealthy defenses will dissolve because they will no longer have any useful function." Anyway. What I get from reading Dr. Richardson is that acceptance of our flawed nature is the key to psychological honesty. It's the big hurdle."

25528. rdbrewer - 8/12/2009 8:44:20 AM

"I'm trying to stay positive, but I've not had success as of yet in finding a job here. I'm not sure how to do it. I've always followed my career places, and I pulled the plug on my job in MS for my wife."

I can't find one either, iiibbb. I know how you feel. And in the past, I always made my own opportunities. So I've had to re-learn how to ask someone else for a job. Depressing. I'm depressed. As anyone can tell.

25529. rdbrewer - 8/12/2009 8:51:24 AM

And I have a gorgeous resume.

25530. rdbrewer - 8/12/2009 9:17:18 AM

Hang in there, iiibbb. And I'll try to take my own advice. I hope you we hear good news soon. And I hadn't thought about employment agencies. Geez, it's been 29 years since I went to one. Maybe I'll try that too.

25531. judithathome - 8/12/2009 3:23:47 PM

Do those headhunting services work?

I could be glib and say "Well, they found work for themsleves, at least!" but seriously, what have you to lose? They probably have more contacts and inroads than you do and what could it hurt?

As specialized as your field is, I'd think they could help a great deal. Give it a try! What do you have to lose except your idle time?

Glad to hear you rented out the house, by the way!

25532. rdbrewer - 8/13/2009 11:53:54 AM

Ace's threads flow kind of like these, but they move faster. Here, we had a rambling, interesting discussion about relationships, marriage, solitude, and etiquette, to name a few.

I was "Dave in Venice" that day. Lately, I've been calling myself "Dave in [insert location here]." It's kind of fun. People started wondering where in the world I was going to be next.

You guys read Ace? I bet you do in secret.

25533. arkymalarky - 8/13/2009 3:22:53 PM

Not in secret or in public.

But the mote is the only forum I go to. No time, for one thing. Back to dialup at home, for another.

25534. iiibbb - 8/13/2009 3:32:36 PM

I've been at the mote the longest. I have some issue-specific ones that I visit, but this is the longest run.

25535. vonKreedon - 8/13/2009 4:47:41 PM

3i3b/RD - Have you tried registering with LinkedIn? Here's an Yahoo TechNews article about job hunting and social networking.

25536. wabbit - 8/13/2009 4:49:16 PM

rdbrewer, I read your post, the second one linked in Message # 25522, but otherwise, haven't read Ace's forum at all.

25537. vonKreedon - 8/13/2009 4:49:47 PM

And I read Ace occasionally, but less and less as he descends further into boring formulaic choir preaching. Gabrial Malor is by far the most interesting person posting over there these days. Ace has always been a highly vitriolic writer, but he used to be perceptive and funny. Not anymore.

25538. vonKreedon - 8/13/2009 4:50:19 PM

And I don't read the comments at all as they just make me depressed and fear for the Republic.

25539. judithathome - 8/13/2009 5:35:28 PM

I don't read Ace or TPW, in secret or otherwise. I do go to other forums but see no need going to those two...they didn't like me when they posted here and still don't so I figure, why even bother?

And if Ace is less funny than before, I'm certainly not drawn to reading him now as I didn't think he was THAT funny to begin with.

25540. iiibbb - 8/13/2009 6:15:12 PM

Message # 25537

If so he's the perfect analog/barometer for the Republican party as a whole.

I used to have some affinity for that party (fiscal responsibility, small gov't, achievement through merit), but since Bush was elected they've thrown just about everything out the window. I just can't bear the hypocrisy anymore.

25541. Wombat - 8/13/2009 6:30:50 PM

I'd go over to Acey's site occasionally to rattle the cages of the "monkey house" (comments section), but life is too short to waste time on that.

25542. Wombat - 8/13/2009 6:44:13 PM

iiibbb:

I am probably the wrong person to be giving advice on employment, since I am now in my fifth year of not working full-time, but...

Coaching/counseling: It is not cheap, and smells of a racket (those who can't find work...coach), but I had a good experience this year. My counselor helped me trim my extensive resume into something useful (two pages); and provided extremely useful advice on attitude and expectation. If you have no idea what the hell you should be doing, you should consider it.

On-line job sites (Monster, etc.) Once your resume is in shape, post it--and any other information you wish. Update it regularly. I've gotten some part time work through such sites, and occasionally I'll get a call about full-time possibilities.

Social networking sites. I am on Linked-In. It is easy to get caught up in it, and spend hours making contacts, joining groups, etc. On the other hand, it gets your information out there; and if you can exert a modicum of self-discipline, it is useful.

25543. iiibbb - 8/13/2009 6:46:59 PM

thanks wombat... I'll look into it.

I'm basically a researcher, but I've got an open mind. I never really thought those sights would have much to offer me because I've felt _so_ specialized. But I don't know anything. I've never looked for a geographically restricted job.

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