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25849. arkymalarky - 1/11/2010 10:35:08 PM I love my mother, I really do; but when Mose was born my MIL stayed with me the first few days. Neither my mother nor I would have survived had she been there.
Wrt the feeding, reminds me of making my MIL drive us to the emergency room (Bob was working nights) because Mose, at about 2 days old, was spitting up to the point I couldn't see how she was getting anything to stay down. Turned out she'd *gained* weight. It's just impossible to tell. 25850. iiibbb - 1/11/2010 11:18:15 PM P is pretty anti-formula and really worried about nipple confusion. My only suggestion to her is to talk to a lactation consultant, to which she tersely replies "I know", but hasn't actually called one yet. Sometimes I don't understand why she procrastinates if she is so worried about it.... I think she fears bad news.
The hospital screwed up slighly because our pediatrician said Broden had lost a some weight in the two days he was in, which means he probably wasn't getting enough food; however they'd told us that he'd lost no weight and discharged us. Seems like signals got crossed.
At any rate, I hope she gets off her but and gets some help... our doula knows tons, and we have a good rapport with her... so I don't know why she is holding off talking to any of these people.
I need to find out what's so horribly bad about formula... if she's not making enough milk yet... thank God for the stuff.
25851. alistairConnor - 1/12/2010 12:20:18 AM It's a vicious circle thing, iii. Basically if she's not producing enough milk, the thing that will stimulate production is baby trying to get what he can. If you give him formula in a bottle, that's much easier for him : he gets much more milk with much less effort. So he will tend to be lazy with his mother, stimulating her production less, since he's not getting much feedback from her.
So in fact, it's very difficult to successfully mix bottle and breast. We went through all that. We were lucky to be in a maternity which ran a breastmilk bank, so we were able to bottle feed her with breastmilk in the first days.
Nothing bad about formula... just that human milk is vastly superior. This is completely uncontroversial. 25852. iiibbb - 1/12/2010 12:48:04 AM We just need to keep her stimulated until her body has switched over. We're using a pump to stimulate her production, and then he gets her breast for the first 20 minutes of the feed. Then we're following with 1-oz of formula.
Follow up with the Dr. Wednesday and she's going to see lactation people tomorrow.
His demeanor is already way different... and he'd lost almost 10% of his weight, so we had to do something. 25853. Wombat - 1/12/2010 1:47:19 AM Our firstborn never really figured out how to "hook on." We passed a horrendous week or so, lots of screaming and crying (not just the baby). We switched to a bottle (using mostly expressed milk--no production problems). She now a healthy--and surly--teenager. Kid two hooked on just fine, and stayed that way. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. Just don't let what momma wishes interfere with baby's health. There are a few horror stories out there... 25854. iiibbb - 1/12/2010 3:12:08 AM Broden showed such a positive change after a couple of formula supplements that she knows better than to be completely militant about it. 25855. iiibbb - 1/12/2010 3:20:49 AM Message # 25845
Broden means "brother" in Finnish, and I read "silent intellectual" in old Norse.
however we picked the name first and liked the cadence. I only looked up meanings to make sure it didn't mean something unfortunate like "axe murderer".
Plus he can go by Brody, but when he grows up Broden is a nice adult name... but whatever he likes.
Pretty uncommon as near as I can tell. 25856. iiibbb - 1/12/2010 2:14:17 PM I don't understand all of the militant articles out there about breastfeeding. There seems a strong anti-medical establishment dogma out there. From what I can glean it's a question of better/best when it comes to breastmilk/formula, but there are people who make like your giving the kid rat poison... P seems to think we're harming him by giving him formula. But he's pooping and pee 25857. iiibbb - 1/12/2010 2:29:01 PM pooping and peeing now.
It's the militant breast-feeders that are making P feel like shit. This latching on trouble seems to happen plenty, and they indirectly accuse P of not trying.... believe me, she's trying.... This article seems far more even handed.
And this one is apparently the functional equivalent to a global warming denier and actually gets hate mail.
Plus it's only been 20 hours since we saw the pediatrician and started the supplements. She's going to one of these lactation support groups today... hopefully she'll get some real support there. 25858. judithathome - 1/12/2010 4:08:20 PM Congrats on the new baby!
Trust me, it will all work out just fine...this is the "first" baby. By the time th second one rolls around, your wife will be much less tense about things.
Back in the day, women my age were actually dissuaded from breast feeding. And forget pre-made formula...we "cooked" our own with canned condensed milk and Karo syrup. Worked out just fine for an entire generation of kiddos.
And in Hawaii, kids who have digestive problems or nursing problems drink a thin gruel-type mixture made of poi...they're called "poi babies" and they thrive exceedingly well. 25859. vonKreedon - 1/12/2010 10:49:00 PM 13b3 - Congrats! Oy, I'm soooo glad it's not me.
And yeah, do what's best for everyone, not just the baby. If the parents are miserable the baby's not going to be optimally happy. 25860. iiibbb - 1/13/2010 2:49:07 AM So I'm 20% irrationally worried about the follow up dr's appointment tomorrow. The boy has pooped and peed, but not a ton yet.
My friend gave me the advice that as long as he's acting "normal" then he probably is... and he seems normal... at least the appointment is in the morning.
I'm worked up probably more than I should be. 25861. arkymalarky - 1/13/2010 5:25:50 AM It's such an odd thing to have this new little entity you've never had, so know nothing about. Your posts really bring back memories. I was a lot like that. Bob's mom had four kids and she was unflappable, but Bob was gone nights and that was tough. He took time off as much as he could, but that wasn't much, but that was probably just as well, though he was better with Mose than I was--still is.
I hate to tell you, but irrational worry may become a recurring condition. Mose works with me and the other day she had a workshop and I forgot, and I was in a panic when she didn't show up for work and didn't answer her phone. Of course she just loves it when I do stuff like that. ;-> 25862. arkymalarky - 1/13/2010 5:27:14 AM I'm in a workshop for two days, btw, and I'm enjoying a nice hotel room and wi-fi. Life is good. 25863. iiibbb - 1/13/2010 6:17:47 AM I'm upset because my wife keeps saying that our son is "ruined". She's mad at the dr. for introducing formula wihtout options. Broden does seem to be having a harder time with her breasts, but the lactation consultant sure seemed optimistic that eventually we could work through this... it'll just take time.
I'm not sure I entirely understand my wife's mistrust of modern medicine. She's really bummed about the formula and bottle thing.
I wnat her to have the fulfillment and everything... but she's being a little irrational. Formula isn't going to kill the baby. 25864. iiibbb - 1/13/2010 6:21:13 PM Broden has gained half the wieght he lost in just 2 days.
We saw the pediatrician today. Going into the appointment my wife was still a little mad at her about the formula. P's been stressed because Broden has been in a "food coma" for 2 days and almost completely ignores her breasts right now. I said the Dr. was probably most concerned with getting a baby that'd lost 10% of his weight back on track. He had not peed any significant amount for a couple of days and has only just started bowel movements again.
So he's up 1/2 lb and 1/2 lb to go to birthweight... stress is off a little
Dr. said that the "food comas" was because he's devoting all of these calories to getting the birthweight back. In a couple of days we can start backing off the formula to get him to take to the breast a little more aggressively. The Dr. thinks at that time he'll go back to rooting and should get back to the breast with a little coaching.
P may not have handled this crisis with much aplomb, but she picked some really good people to work with.
25865. vonKreedon - 1/13/2010 9:03:05 PM My remembrance from 16 years ago is that it is normal for new born to lose weight in the first week. 25866. iiibbb - 1/13/2010 11:01:18 PM Not 10%... 10% is like starving to death.... plus he was not doing #1 or #2. He's gained 1/3 of what he lost back, so at least he's going in the right direction now.
He's doing #1 pretty regular now, and no more discoloration. He's had a couple of #2's and more should be on their way soon. Good signs. 25867. Wombat - 1/14/2010 2:21:14 AM Damn things don't come with a manual! Since it's a boy, I do have some advice. When changing him, stand to the side, and keep your mouth CLOSED. 25868. iiibbb - 1/14/2010 4:51:26 AM P discovered that this morning.
They sell little cones you can place over the equipment while changing... I just throw a cloth diaper over him.
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