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25960. thoughtful - 5/2/2010 10:29:15 PM Since then work still has been crazy including my boss of nearly 20 years just up and left and now i'm trying to learn to deal with the new boss. Also i'm building a stack of paperwork that will weigh as much as I do by the time I'm done, trying to deal with the estate, probate, lawyers, bills, etc. etc.
In addition, I'm working with a doc watching a lump I found ...so far so good, but we're still watching. Hubby is working with his kidney doctor as his kidney function is deteriorating, but so far so good. My cousin called yesterday to tell me that her father died...bad enough, but he was the primary care giver to her 99 year old grandmother. My cousin lives 1500 miles away and desperately trying to deal with the shock of losing her father while trying to figure out what to do with her grandmother. My other cousin called to tell me his brother committed suicide...he was in a mental hospital for depression and, as his insurance ran out, they changed his meds and sent him home. The next day he was dead.
And did i tell you we are still trying to finish the house and move in? I want to have a memorial service for my mom there, was hoping for this spring, but it looks possible that we might be in by June and could have it there this summer. Despite mother's condition, we were able to bring her to the new house where we had xmas dinner with her.
25961. thoughtful - 5/2/2010 10:32:32 PM I am working hard at trying to heal myself from all of this. I feel like I'm the only mole in a one-hole whack-a-mole game...every time I pop my head up, it gets smashed down by something else again.
Desperately seeking resilience... 25962. wabbit - 5/2/2010 10:34:56 PM Oh Thoughtful, I am so sorry to hear this news, I can't even begin to imagine how much you are missing her. Your mother sounds like she was a very special person. I know we don't get to know each other very well here, but I think from your description of her that you are a lot like her and she must have been very proud of you.
You have my deepest sympathies. Words are just never enough. 25963. thoughtful - 5/2/2010 10:47:47 PM Thanks, wabbit. I appreciate your support and kindness. 25964. arkymalarky - 5/2/2010 11:09:26 PM Oh my, Thoughtful! I'm so sorry! I'm glad you were able to have your mom at your new house. What a lot you've gone through in the last few months. I hope things begin to improve soon. Your mother always seemed wonderful from your posts. 25965. thoughtful - 5/2/2010 11:23:47 PM Thanks, Arky. Much appreciated. 25966. wabbit - 5/2/2010 11:29:15 PM Oh geez, I just re-read your following posts (I had to run downstairs to tend to my parents' dinner) - good grief.
I had a lumpectomy about seven years ago. I was very lucky in so many repects, and as lucky and easy as my path was, I hope your path is easier. 25967. Ms. No - 5/3/2010 7:12:01 AM Thoughtful, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. My best to you and to your family. You are getting more than your share of burdens this year. Be well. 25968. Ms. No - 5/3/2010 7:16:02 AM 3i3b, happy belated and hang in there. Definitely revel in your child ---- and never feel you can't come here to unload troubles. Stress is definitely a back-buster. Just think, the Mote is way cheaper than a therapist. ;-> 25969. thoughtful - 5/3/2010 12:38:18 PM Thanks, Ms. No. 25970. vonKreedon - 5/3/2010 5:00:20 PM Holy crap Thoughtful, that is a seriously unfair amount of grief and stress to have dumped on you. I'm so glad to hear that your husband is a supportive peach.
Really, don't be afraid of us. 25971. thoughtful - 5/3/2010 6:28:38 PM Thanks vonK...not so much afraid, but not able to deal with anything else... the plate is beyond overflowing and I don't need more crap.
We sold my mother's house in FL and now i'm trying to sell her condo up here, plus we have probate to go through. And she left some $ to my nephew which means i'm going to have to deal with him...more crap to go through!
It took me 3 mos to get the money back from the nursing home with legal documents, paralegals, checks written, bank accounts etc etc. All of this is a total exercise in frustration.
It took 3 days and 3 faxes of the same material before the idiots at the insurance co. could find it so I could change the address on the policy so I could pay it. Un-freakin' believable.
Every thing piece of paper I touch is like that...try to do something, think it's all set and then another hold up, another piece of paper, another phone call, on and on.
So I end up working the weekends to make up for all the time lost during the week that I'm doing paperwork, which has to be done during weekdays as that's the only time customer service is around.
When all I want to do is be working on moving into the new house.
So far, we've managed to move some books and some fabric...still waiting on the painters to come and finish up and we need the rods in the closets which are supposed to come tomorrow.
Let's hope. 25972. thoughtful - 5/3/2010 7:28:26 PM and did I tell you? In the middle of trying to move from binder to contract on my mother's condo before the homebuyers tax credit expires, my real estate agent's husband dies?!?!?
After awhile you've got to ask, is it me?!? 25973. alistairconnor - 5/3/2010 7:46:13 PM Thoughtful, I wish we could have a drink together and a chat, just to offer you some moral support through such a trying period.
The upside is that you've got the house coming up... lots of work and stress moving in, then perhaps the feeling of fulfillment and achievement, time to relax in it over summer...? 25974. alistairconnor - 5/3/2010 7:48:06 PM iii, you're overdue for a good break. Something will come up!
On the other hand, having time with your son at that age is something you'll never regret, a real luxury and a great start in life for him. 25975. thoughtful - 5/3/2010 7:58:35 PM Thanks, ac...I think we would enjoy a drink together. 25976. vonKreedon - 5/3/2010 8:29:36 PM I am sooo not looking forward to my parents dying. I moved accross the continent at least partially to put the continent between me and my family, but still I know that when my Mom dies it's going to hit me like a 2x4 accross the back of the head. And that's leaving aside having to deal with the impact of dealing with my two mentally ill younger brothers once my Mom and Dad are gone.
Best wishes Thoughtful for Fortune's Wheel to turn to good things for you and yours in the immediate future. 25977. thoughtful - 5/3/2010 10:04:11 PM vonK....dealing with your brothers sounds like a real challenge. While it is an eventuality, try not to borrow trouble...it will rise soon enough to meet you.
in the old days we had a community of support to help us with our family issues which has since evaporated. now we're left to struggle on alone. not easy. no wonder western societies are so wracked with depression and other stress-related illnesses!
25978. vonKreedon - 5/3/2010 11:11:06 PM On another topic, I do wish Marj had stuck around to berate me more about my jaundiced and poll-driven view of the Obama admin's accomplishments to date. 25979. judithathome - 5/4/2010 11:25:44 PM Thoughtful, I am so sorry to learn of your mother's passing...and of all your other frustrations. Those posts upthread where you described her are a beautiful testament...reading it brought tears to my eyes. She was lucky to have you and you were lucky to have her...I know nothing can make the pain of losing someone so special go away and I won't tell you it gets easier because I don't want to lie about it...but in time, it gets a little "softer".
And just a hint: don't worry about the estate stuff. It will take what seems an eternity for that stuff to get sorted out. We are still dealing with my son's estate...you just have to look on it as a lesson in life...nothing can speed it up. It's like Bleak House...
I hope you stick around. I haven't been here much myself or anywhere else on the internet, for that matter. I think after 10 or so years, the novelty may have worn off a bit. ;-)
Take care and know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best.
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