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26769. iiibbb - 2/14/2012 3:21:57 AM I am.
He doesn't have a PhD; I do. While I wouldn't throw that in his face, the fact remains that I am qualified and he is not. 26770. Wombat - 2/14/2012 4:08:22 AM It's tough. At least he's not your boss. I've gotten into trouble a few times by not being tactful enough when my supervisor was displaying ignorance on subjects that I knew a lot about. 26771. iiibbb - 2/14/2012 4:23:26 AM My wife has a boss like that... and we didn't find out until we moved here which made the first couple of years really hard for her.
Now her boss realizes P's worth and is scared to lose her (the muckitty mucks inexplicably shot down the telecommuting plan); there is so much they're not going to get done once P leaves.
I have a pretty decent track record with people hard to get along with because I put the work over my ego. This is the first time I've worked with someone who was such an impediment. The thing is, I don't need him -- I was trying to work with him because he'd expressed so much interest in participating. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to relinquish control over the process, which is my purview. 26772. arkymalarky - 2/14/2012 5:51:12 AM I always liked the direct approach, but I don't think much about anything but the issue at hand. Rarely does a personality annoy me. If my principal or a colleague does something I don't like we deal with it right then and move on. My boss is a lot like me, so there aren't grudges or lingering feelings. I got so mad at her earlier this year I thought I'd explode, but we jst dealt with it.
Ego is poison at work and truly competent and confident people don't have it. They're too busy doing their jobs while the insecure ones keep stuff stirred up. 26773. bhelpuri - 2/14/2012 12:14:33 PM You suck, Kreedon 26774. bhelpuri - 2/14/2012 12:19:31 PM Can someone gimme link to this Able Minds forum? Also, what is Uncle Pelle's objection to posting here, in the good 'ol Mote? 26775. PsychProf - 2/14/2012 3:02:42 PM "Ego is poison at work and truly competent and confident people don't have it. They're too busy doing their jobs while the insecure ones keep stuff stirred "
I really like this nugget Arky. 26776. iiibbb - 2/14/2012 4:50:16 PM His problem is his insecurity and his "can't-do" attitude.
He's trying to make himself seem indispensable - but he's throwing all his eggs in the GIS basket instead of paying attention to what the organization needs.
It is not unlike the old engineer from "Office Space" who was the interface between engineers and customers because he was a "people person". 26777. iiibbb - 2/14/2012 4:51:39 PM Your point is beautifully succinct Arky. 26778. Jenerator - 2/14/2012 5:00:24 PM Arky,
I wish the direct approach worked more with others. Unfortunately there are a lot of saboteurs, and being direct about issues causes waves. I know that for me, when I dared to ask a question, I was labeled a 'trouble maker'. When I tried to then fix things on my own, I was labeled 'difficult'.
All I want to do is do my job and do it well. Sometimes that's not what others want. And those people are often the ones in control. 26779. arkymalarky - 2/14/2012 5:06:54 PM Thanks pp and 3i.
I need to clarify my earlier post. I wasn't mad when I talked to my principal. I got mad, then after processing that I talked to her. I don't want to leave the impression I read people the riot act whenever I get mad. Sometimes we disagree and if she has the final say, like the dress code we've had going on five tears now, I let my opinion be known and move on. People who are constantly worried about their own competence can't do that and they always seem to be in a battle over something. Unfortunately they can make everyone around them miserable if they sren't either marginalized or fired. There are times you have to stand up, but if they're not rare, you need to do a little reflection and see if you're the problem. Your colleague will likely never do that, and whatever happens to him will be someone else's fault in his eyes--probably yours. ;) 26780. Wombat - 2/14/2012 5:19:30 PM Bhel: VK doesn't suck! You do! Wait that's not an argument, it's a contradiction... 26781. arkymalarky - 2/14/2012 5:27:58 PM I'd just do what I do, Jen. I've built a reputation over the years as someone who isn't a pushover but doesn't push others and who speaks her mind. We've had those games here in spades due to a lot of issues I won't bore y'all with here, and I've been heavily involved in them. But I lay my cards on the table and expect others to do the same and call them on it when they don't. No fuss, no muss, no daily drama. I couldn't give a rip what they say about me. A lot of that stuff is still going on and as a passive observer I now find it amusing. I lost what I cared about and the current issues are irrelevant. I've always been left alone wherever I've taught, but I know what I will and will not do. They can control what they do, I can't help that. But I will make my professional decisions and judgments.
Years ago, my supt, who's a dear friend to this day, overruled me with a student. I pled my case, he pled his, and I told him to explain to the student and parents that this was his decision alone and that I disagreed with it. The end. I didn't think about it any more. I know a woman who got fired years ago for not passing an athlete. She stood her ground and got backpay and a new great job. It's not about who's right at work, it's about how you deal with it, choosing the hill you want to die on, and changing jobs or careers when you need to. At Stan's old school they dumped on me and I left. I didn't tell them why, even when they asked me directly. I didn't see the point. Stan was happy. Later he got unhappy for other reasons and left. Nothing personal for either of us. We didn't like how our jobs were run, when they didn't fix it we left, at different times for different reasons. They weren't going to change, so we moved elsewhere. 26782. arkymalarky - 2/14/2012 5:29:58 PM As for saboteurs, Jen, sunlight is the best disinfectant. Call them on it. People know I'll do that too. In a heartbeat. 26783. iiibbb - 2/14/2012 5:36:46 PM The serenity prayer... even when not stated as a prayer... is a great sub-motto for life.
Grant me the strength to change the things I can.
The patience to accept the things I can't [change].
And the wisdom to know the difference. 26784. judithathome - 2/14/2012 5:57:19 PM bhelpuri, Pelle used to post a lot at Random International, which had thousands of posters, as you know...posting here at the Mote has been sporadic and once RI shut down, Pelle checked out Able Minds...which costs $10 a year to join...and he set up a little forum over there.
Here's a link to his forum:
26785. judithathome - 2/14/2012 5:58:57 PM Well, that's weird...it showed up in preview.
Pelle's Place...Inrernational & More 26786. vonKreedon - 2/14/2012 6:06:51 PM Bhel - I'm afraid I'm going to need more evidence for your childish assertion that I suck before I can engage you in any kind of meaningful and adult argument. You also need to define your terms. Are you saying that I engage in homosexual oral sex? Or you perhaps using the homophobic ephithet in an attempt to wound me? Either way it's a troll's trick utilized by those who know they've lost the argument, in this case before you even began.
Buck up champ, I know you can do better.
Insert winky emoticon here. 26787. arkymalarky - 2/14/2012 6:36:14 PM Hahaha! 26788. arkymalarky - 2/14/2012 6:38:03 PM The last part of the serenity prayer is what always trips people up.
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