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27581. judithathome - 8/8/2013 10:55:43 PM Well...I think many kids today are spoiled to the point that their parents are oblivious when they scream, eat like slobs, and run around the restaurant like they were raised by wolves. They block it out because they are used to it.
Personally, I don't want to be at a table eating food that I paid for with little banshees scampering around all over the place...
We never miss a chance to compliment parents with well-behaved kids...back in the day, I was thrilled when someone did that for me. But my son didn't throw food, scream and cry, or act out in a restaurant. Some parents today seem not to mind that sort of behavior...don't blame those of us who don't like it for being intolerant...some of these people NEED to have their kids' behavior criticized...otherwise, they will continue to think it's just fine. 27582. iiibbb - 8/8/2013 11:42:31 PM It's mostly the internet rants that I can't stand.
My 3 yr old... emphasis on 3 yr old... is pretty good. We've given him rulse and he's pretty good. 98% of the time.
So if someone wants to judge me as a parent based on a 30 minute meal or a couple hours on an airplane. Screw them.
If you had perfect kids you have selective memory.
IF you were a perfect kid, you are kidding yourself
27583. iiibbb - 8/8/2013 11:45:23 PM It's not like I tolerate that stuff... but anyway... woe to anyone who gives me grief about how B or A are acting on a given evening. I do what I can to not inconvenience people... but I'm not going to change my plans that much short of going out a little earlier to dinner, or not taking them to "nice" restaurants. 27584. iiibbb - 8/8/2013 11:49:29 PM To put it another way... we were all young snot-nosed brats at one point or another.
People that won't cut my kid some slack are cut from the same cloth as people who don't want to pay taxes for schools because they don't use them. 27585. judithathome - 8/9/2013 12:20:02 AM Well, I happily pay taxes for schools because they are educating kids that one day might make MY world a better place...I think it's stupid to resent paying taxes that allow others' children to become educated members of a society in which I live.
But I can assure you I don't have selective memory about my child's or my own childhood behavior in public...I come from a different era than you and it was one where children behaved...I'm talking little kids, not teenagers which are a different story.
I wouldn't have been ALLOWED to act out in public the way I see some kids do today...and neither would my son.
Public manners for children these days seem to be a thing of the past. If your child (editorial "your") is screaming and throwing a fit at a restaurant table, take them outside to cool down...don't just let them sit there and howl at the top of their lungs in a restaurant full of people and ruin everyone else's meal.
Some parents today are so in thrall to their adorable, brilliant children they are hesitant to correct them at all. That isn't good form and will come back to bite them later on. 27586. iiibbb - 8/9/2013 12:41:59 AM My kids do okay. They are hardly brats. The assumption that a kid you don't know is always like that is unfair. Your assumption that just because my 3 yr old is having a bad hour, or bad day, or bad plane ride that I don't care about parenting or a well behaved kid.
Well safe to say, if it's my kid, and they're pissing you off in that 30 minute passing. I'm glad of it... because most of the time they're great and well behaved and I couldn't ask more of kids this age and you can stick it.
Even if your kids were perfect... you probably have inconvenienced someone some other way.
Again... uptight people should examine themselves before they go off on a stranger's kids. 27587. robertjayb - 8/9/2013 1:18:51 AM Houston restaurant La Fisheria has banned children under the age of eight after 7:00 PM. The restaurant posted an announcement to Facebook yesterday, writing "We are a family friendly restaurant, and we also respect all of our customers so we introduce this new policy to the restaurant."
The restaurant does have a kids' menu, but it's only available before the 7:00 PM cutoff. 27588. iiibbb - 8/9/2013 1:44:13 AM 7pm is a good cutoff. When we are out with kids we shoot for 5:30 27589. judithathome - 8/9/2013 2:07:11 AM The assumption that a kid you don't know is always like that is unfair. Your assumption that just because my 3 yr old is having a bad hour, or bad day, or bad plane ride that I don't care about parenting or a well behaved kid.
You're the one assuming here. I don't care if the kid is or is not like that all the time...I care about how they are acting when I am in a restaurant or on a plane. I couldn't care less if the kid is angel or a monster the rest of the time.
Yes, I do feel that parents who let a kid act up in a public setting without making any attempt to correct them are not doing the kid any favors. They may be sterling parents 99% of the time but in that instance, they are NOT.
Go ahead and tell me to stick it all you wish...I had a well-behaved child and it took a lot of care and hard work to raise him to be polite and to act well in public settings. You are probably the same way...you want your child to be the best he can be.
I just have a problem with your attitude that we, as diners, have no rights and that we should just "stick it" because you know YOUR kid is an angel 99% of time.
And by the way, I have NEVER said ANYTHING to a parent who is letting their child act like a idiot while I'm trying to eat. I figure they will pay for it later in life. 27590. iiibbb - 8/9/2013 2:45:29 AM That's right, you don't. Tomorrow you'll be in the express grocery lane with 16 items and rationalize it somehow. Or you have an overdue library book I want. Or you forgot to rewind the video. Or whatever. People aren't perfect. I tolerate a lot of things I don't do, but I have a kid who misbehaves almost never.
Stick it 27591. judithathome - 8/9/2013 4:49:05 AM Jesus....I don't give a rat's ass if your kid acts up or not.
I've had my say and you can think what you wish...you might give pause to consider that adage "He who protests too much", however. 27592. iiibbb - 8/9/2013 8:14:49 AM Whatever, my kids are good. But you are vain to think that what works for one kid works for all. I have several I do very different for each of mine.
I am not protesting. Sanctimonious Know it all about me mad. They don't know what my kid is like, or what he responds to as far as discipline goes. I'm not going to try to please someone with unreasonable expectations. Just because they protest doesn't mean it's worth it. Some people hate kids no matter how good they are.
I know from experience as a lifeguard the wide variety of children responses to authority and that bringing the hammer down all the time is counter productive.
I also know from that experience how tightly wound some uptight old fuddy duddies can be about the slightest infractions by people who have just as much right to be there 27593. iiibbb - 8/9/2013 8:22:00 AM I am not protesting too much. I am being very clear with you, as you were with your kids. When it comes to raising or disciplining my kids, My wife is the only one who's vote matters. 27594. iiibbb - 8/9/2013 8:45:17 AM Teachers get a vote. 27595. iiibbb - 8/9/2013 9:06:18 AM Judith reminds me of a joke.
What do 9 out of 10 abused children have in common?
They don't fucking listen. 27596. psychprof - 8/9/2013 12:25:58 PM Judith...I well remember what you have experienced in your life. Just wanted to say that. 27597. iiibbb - 8/9/2013 3:01:14 PM Yes--- because abuse is obviously something I'm in favor of...
She has expressed her opinion that it's more important that to her she share a restaurant with a kid who's "under control", than mine (who might have a problem every so often)... that my objection to her objection indicates a lack of my control over my children. Well, there is more to life than pleasing every person I meet.
If I touched a nerve, oh well. I abhor violence against anyone, especially kids, for the record. 27598. vonKreedon - 8/9/2013 5:38:35 PM The nerve touched appears to be your i3b3. As Judith said, she, and I agree, don't give a shit if someone's child is a perfect angel 98% of the time when that child is being allowed to howl in a restaurant instead of being taken outside. As you say, I'm in no position to judge a person's overall parenting based on the one data point, but I am in a position to judge that one data point. 27599. judithathome - 8/9/2013 5:49:53 PM But you are vain to think that what works for one kid works for all
I never said that...look, you have lost it over me expressing an opinion different from yours. I believe you when you say your child is a good kid...I have no problem with kids getting fussy...I just think if, when in a public place like a restaurant where others are there to dine and are PAYING for the experience, it might be better if the parent removed the kid for a few minutes.
This all started with your heading of the link you posted...it was "I am constantly amazed about how intolerant people are about children"
Having raised a child and having experienced unruly children in restaurants before (NOT YOURS, I stress) I thought maybe my opinion might lend some information for you as to why some people get irritated when the situation arises.
You fly off the handle at me and seem deaf to the fact that I was only speaking out because you seemed amazed that ANYONE could have a differing opinion than yours.
This is the last time I'm going to try and explain it you.
Enjoy your children...you are lucky to have them. 27600. iiibbb - 8/9/2013 11:46:42 PM 27598. vonKreedon - 8/9/2013 5:38:35 PM
The nerve touched appears to be your i3b3. As Judith said, she, and I agree, don't give a shit if someone's child is a perfect angel 98% of the time when that child is being allowed to howl in a restaurant instead of being taken outside. As you say, I'm in no position to judge a person's overall parenting based on the one data point, but I am in a position to judge that one data point.
Perhaps the miscommunication involves what constitutes unruly in a restaurant. Some people's threshold is unreasonably low. Particularly it sounds like the restaurant owner, and the legions of intolerant people posting about how children should be _banned_ from restaurants, trains, grocery stores etc..
Next time you might think to your Maybe your thought might be...
At any rate. My objection to Judith is her notion that her experience as mother is applicable. My objection to other people is the notion that sometimes it is a slog to get through a day with a kid who's sick, or just in a bad mood, but that doesn't mean that plans are going to change.
But whatever. The fact remains that I am amazed at how intolerant people are of kids; and now I am completely intolerant of their intolerance.
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