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28493. arkymalarky - 2/21/2015 10:41:12 PM I have a friend who wished she hadn't retired for that exact reason. Her husband is driving her nuts. He has his own business, and expects her to be at his beck and call all the time. 28494. iiibbb - 2/21/2015 11:26:30 PM Last word was stabilized, but in a serious place. They put in a breathing tube as a precaution.
Mixed messages: on one had, "sabilized", "responding to touches"... on the other "grim", "big decisions".
He's had a number of strokes from the blood infection outgassing in his bloodstream.
Dad doesn't want "extraordinary means", but on the other hand I witnessed my MiL on deaths door and she made a 99% recovery... it just took 5 years.
They weight of it finally hit mom and she's been crying last I heard.
I am bummed.
I am bummed, and I am always struck at how poorly I relate to people. My mom, dad, borthers all have impressive support networks through church and otherwise.
I've never been good at it. I don't have alot of friends. I'm not a member of a church because I'm don't _feel_ it in my heart.... I'm just too agnostic.
The universe is vast and old.
If it weren't for souls I'd be an atheist... but then if it weren't for souls nobody would be anything. 28495. arkymalarky - 2/22/2015 12:06:43 AM Oh my. I hope coming here helps. I've gotten to where I come in here just to process stuff that I don't want to go through with people irl. Even when nobody responds (especially when?), it helps me to verbalize isdues without maintaining a blog. Or paying a therapist. 28496. judithathome - 2/22/2015 12:53:29 AM but then if it weren't for souls nobody would be anything.
But what ARE souls? How do you define a soul? Frankly, I don't...people are people...if souls come into it, then we have to justify killing animals, people, anything...some Native Americans believe plants and trees have souls...
I've actually never given souls a second thought. When people pass on, they are gone. Period.
Sorry if that sounds callous but it's what I believe. 28497. Iiibbb - 2/22/2015 3:51:45 AM A soul is you. What makes you you, or anyone anyone.
I'm not offended. I'm just saying the thing that makes us, us isn't explainable. It's just there.
I claim no knowledge about where they go... Just that they're there 28498. Ms. No - 2/22/2015 6:36:41 AM I think the Founding Fathers would approve, i3b3 --- you sound like a proper Deist to me.
I'm with Arx on this and hope that the Mote offers you some comfort and support. Best wishes for your dad.
and can I just say "Five???? Your kiddo is FIVE??" That seems impossible. I feel like he ought to be two or three at the most. 28499. Ms. No - 2/22/2015 6:39:04 AM Judith,
Now that you mention it, it may have been the Terra Cotta Soldiers --- I did see that exhibit. I think Pompeii was on a school field trip, and the more I ponder Tut, the more I can't remember if I actually saw the exhibit or just heard so much about it that I feel like I saw it. 28500. arkymalarky - 2/22/2015 6:53:19 AM you're not pulling a Brian Williams are you?;> 28501. Ms. No - 2/22/2015 6:56:58 AM Ha! At least I didn't claim that we were airlifted over the ice. 28502. Iiibbb - 2/22/2015 4:04:21 PM It is very bad now. Probably terminal. 28503. wabbit - 2/22/2015 5:09:42 PM I am so sorry to hear that iiibbb. My thoughts are with you. 28504. arkymalarky - 2/22/2015 6:12:23 PM I'm so sorry 3i. 28505. Iiibbb - 2/22/2015 6:44:33 PM He has been happy and had his full faculties and got caught by surprise.
No suffering through anything 28506. Iiibbb - 2/22/2015 6:45:40 PM He has been happy and had his full faculties and got caught by surprise.
No suffering through anything 28507. judithathome - 2/22/2015 7:57:17 PM That's a blessing...and though no one asked me, my advice would be: don't prolong the life support too long. For everyone's sake.
It's not easy to make that decision but if he could thank you, he would...
28508. Ms. No - 2/22/2015 8:02:55 PM My thoughts are with you and your family. 28509. Iiibbb - 2/22/2015 8:35:01 PM My MiL almost died, and a dr told us she wouldn't make it. She's 99% minus a kidney. We made the right call in that case. In this case the tissue death is obvious, but we still got more than one dr to say that there is no hope for meaningful recovery.
Long story short. Don't trust them, make sure they are communicating, write it all down, call them out on imprecisellanguag, call them out on mixed messages. 28510. Iiibbb - 2/22/2015 8:35:41 PM My MiL almost died, and a dr told us she wouldn't make it. She's 99% minus a kidney. We made the right call in that case. In this case the tissue death is obvious, but we still got more than one dr to say that there is no hope for meaningful recovery.
Long story short. Don't trust them, make sure they are communicating, write it all down, call them out on imprecisellanguag, call them out on mixed messages. 28511. judithathome - 2/22/2015 10:55:15 PM I have been there, 3I3b...my (48 year old) son had a stroke (one of many he had had in the years since receiving experimental chemo for Hodgkins at age 10....) and even though he had signed a DNR at that hospital, SOMEONE didn't notice and he was put on life support...I threw a fit and meanwhile, his father stepped in and refused to let him go.
Trust me, I don't mean to be blunt but when you step up and give the okay, you will not only understand but SEE that it was for the best.
Ask for a specialist to check his brain function (as I see you may have already done)...listen to what that person has to say.
I asked for an MRI and two more tests...and thank you, Dr. Lincoln Chen for convincing my son's father that his son was gone....something I knew but could not convince the man of.... 28512. iiibbb - 2/23/2015 3:49:03 PM I'm probably going to adjust my medical POA to focus on brain function
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