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28892. clydefo - 3/31/2007 5:27:00 PM
Nun Says Parkinson's Was Cured Following Prayers to Late Pope.
"...She described going to bed one night barely able to write or walk and waking up at 4:30 a.m. fully cured. "All I can say is that I was ill and now I'm healed," said Sister Marie Simon-Pierre, smiling widely. "Now the church will decide if it's a miracle."
Church officials said Sister Marie Simon-Pierre's recovery from the advanced stages of a disease with no known cure could be instrumental in the canonization process, which can sometimes take centuries to complete but has been fast-tracked for John Paul..."
"Fast-tracked".
All with straight faces. 28893. alistairConnor - 3/31/2007 11:21:11 PM Well. My ex-girlfriend's grandmother had tuberculosis, of the bone variety. Invariably fatal (this is in the 1930s).
Did a little pilgrimage to Lourdes, and came back cured... had half a dozen children and lived to a reasonably ripe old age.
My opinion is that she did it herself. 28894. jexster - 4/2/2007 4:05:25 AM Luke 23:26-48
26As they led him away, they seized a man, Simon of Cyrene, who was coming from the country, and they laid the cross on him, and made him carry it behind Jesus. 27A great number of the people followed him, and among them were women who were beating their breasts and wailing for him. 28But Jesus turned to them and said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. 29For the days are surely coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed.’ 30Then they will begin to say to the mountains, ‘Fall on us’; and to the hills, ‘Cover us.’ 31For if they do this when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?”
32Two others also, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. 33When they came to the place that is called The Skull, they crucified Jesus there with the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. 34Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” And they cast lots to divide his clothing. 35And the people stood by, watching; but the leaders scoffed at him, saying, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Messiah of God, his chosen one!” 36The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine, 37and saying, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!” 38There was also an inscription over him, “This is the King of the Jews.” 39One of the criminals who were hanged there kept deriding him and saying, “Are you not the Messiah? Save yourself and us!” 40But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? 41And we indeed have been condemned justly, for we are getting what we deserve for our deeds, but this man has done nothing wrong.” 42Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” 43He replied, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”
44It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, 45while the sun’s light failed; and the curtain of the temple was torn in two. 46Then Jesus, crying with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.” Having said this, he breathed his last. 47When the centurion saw what had taken place, he praised God and said, “Certainly this man was innocent.” 48And when all the crowds who had gathered there for this spectacle saw what had taken place, they returned home, beating their breasts.
28895. clydefo - 4/2/2007 5:08:44 PM "47When the centurion saw what had taken place, he praised God and said, “Certainly this man was innocent.” 48And when all the crowds who had gathered there for this spectacle saw what had taken place, they returned home, beating their breasts."
When the Great Arising took place two days later, (or was it three days? Whatever.) and proved the centurion correct, why did nobody return to mark, protect and enshrine the Skull and the Tomb. Why does Paul not write about his visits to such recently sanctified places? Surely he took the Jerusalem Tour. Why do none of the The Savior's followers scratch not a thing on pottery or tablets? No contemporary tributes, songs, odes. Nothing. No writer or historian of the time mentions Him or His. No evidence at all that any of his "entourage", including his Virgin Mom and the Holy Dozen, ever existed.
As Sherlock Holmes said...
28896. clydefo - 4/2/2007 5:55:50 PM Religious Cult Child Abuse!
NICKEL MINES, Pennsylvania (AP) -- Amish children carrying lunch pails [On a video clip these looked to be some sort of high-tech-vacuum-injection-molded-foam-insulated "lunch pails" from Coleman, but maybe it's something they fabricated out in the barn]arrived at a new one-room schoolhouse Monday morning, marking a fresh beginning for students who survived a shooting that killed five classmates last fall.
The New Hope Amish School sits a few hundred yards from the spot where the killings took place. Built by the entire community, the school is protected by more sophisticated locks on its doors and is reachable only by a private drive.
"For an Amish one-room schoolhouse, this one is spectacular," [keep reading!] said Bart Township zoning officer John Coldiron.
It replaces the West Nickel Mines Amish School, which was torn down October 12. Ten days earlier, milk truck driver Charles Carl Roberts IV shot 10 girls inside the school and then committed suicide as police closed in.
The building does not have electricity or a phone[How can Pennsylvania fail in it's duty to provide for the health and safety of all children, including those in religious cults, when everything else in the world has to be "Reg. Penna. Dept. Agr."] but is bright inside from skylights and windows, Coldiron said. The phone is notable because during the rampage, a teacher had to run to a neighboring farm that had a telephone to call 911...[Are fire extinguishers ok? What can account for such a collectively shallow learning curve? Poor schools? Inbreeding? Please tell me these reclusive, self-denial cults are on the decline.] Please.
28897. jexster - 4/2/2007 6:38:07 PM AMBER ALERT
It's Passover and Holy Week.
Christian parents, do you know where your children are?
 28898. jexster - 4/2/2007 6:43:56 PM 
28899. jexster - 4/6/2007 4:51:26 PM Solemn Liturgy of Good Friday
St. Peter's
Live 28900. jexster - 4/6/2007 5:59:41 PM The Reproaches (Improperia)
Antiphon 1 and 2:
We worship you, Lord,
we venerate your cross,
we praise your resurrection.
1: Through the cross
you brought joy to the world.
1: (Psalm 66:2)
May God be gracious and bless us;
and let his face shed its light upon us.
Repeat Antiphon by 1 and 2:
The Reproaches:
I.
1 and 2: My people, what have I done to you
How have I offended you? Answer me!
1: I led you out of Egypt,
from slavery to freedom,
but you led your Savior to the cross.
2: My people, what have I done to you?
How have I offended you? Answer me!
1: Holy is God!
2: Holy and strong!
1: Holy immortal One, have mercy on us!
1 and 2: For forty years I led you
safely through the desert.
I fed you with manna from heaven,ù
and brought you to a land of plenty;
but you led your Savior to the cross.
Repeat "Holy is God..."
1 and 2: What more could I have done for you.
I planted you as my fairest vine,
but you yielded only bitterness:
when I was thirsty you gave me vinegar to drink,
and you pierced your Savior with a lance.
Repeat "Holy is God..."
II.
1: For your sake I scourged your captors
and their firstborn sons,
but you brought your scourges down on me.
(Repeated throughout by Choir 2)
2: My people, what have I done to you?
How have I offended you? Answer me!
1: I led you from slavery to freedom
and drowned your captors in the sea,
but you handed me over to your high priests.
2: "My people...."
1: I opened the sea before you,
but you opened my side with a spear.
2: "My people...."
1: I led you on your way in a pillar of cloud,
but you led me to Pilate's court.
2: "My people...."
1: I bore you up with manna in the desert,
but you struck me down and scourged me.
2: "My people...."
1: I gave you saving water from the rock,
but you gave me gall and vinegar to drink.
2: "My people...."
1: For you I struck down the kings of Canaan.
but you struck my head with a reed.
2: "My people...."
1: I gave you a royal scepter,
but you gave me a crown of thorns.
2: "My people...."
1: I raised you to the height of majesty,
but you have raised me high on a cross.
2: "My people...."
28901. jexster - 4/9/2007 1:33:57 AM Joy to thee O Queen of Heaven, alleluia:
He whom thou wast meet to bear, alleluia,
As He promised hath aris'n, alleluia.
Pour for us to God thy prayer, alleluia.
Tune
V. Rejoice and be glad, O Virgin Mary, alleluia.
R.For the Lord is risen indeed, alleluia.
Let us pray:
O God, who by the Resurrection of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, granted joy to the whole world: grant we beseech You, that through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, His Mother, we may lay hold of the joys of eternal life. Through the same Christ our Lord.
R. Amen.
 28902. Ulgine Barrows - 4/9/2007 9:01:12 AM O McDonalds,
I pray to thee
Send me the carbs
And if I choose wisely
Send me a salad, too
With Paul Newman salad dressing
Taste less.
Tasteless. 28903. Ulgine Barrows - 4/9/2007 9:04:06 AM O McDonalds,
I pray to thee
Send me the carbs
And if I choose wisely
Send me a salad, too
With Paul Newman salad dressing
Taste less.
Tasteless. 28904. Ulgine Barrows - 4/13/2007 9:49:34 AM Or some misspelled "Mayonaise" by Samshing Pumpkins. 28905. clydefo - 4/24/2007 3:19:55 PM What happened to all the Souls in Limbo when the Pope shut the place down recently? 28906. judithathome - 4/24/2007 3:43:22 PM Good question...maybe they moved into those "many mansions" Jesus talked about. 28907. judithathome - 5/16/2007 1:25:29 PM Here's a little refresher course on the late Jerry Falwell:
March 1980: Falwell tells an Anchorage rally about a conversation with President Carter at the White House. Commenting on a January breakfast meeting, Falwell claimed to have asked Carter why he had “practicing homosexuals” on the senior staff at the White House. According to Falwell, Carter replied, “Well, I am president of all the American people, and I believe I should represent everyone.” When others who attended the White House event insisted that the exchange never happened, Falwell responded that his account “was not intended to be a verbatim report,” but rather an “honest portrayal” of Carter’s position.
August 1980: After Southern Baptist Convention President Bailey Smith tells a Dallas Religious Right gathering that “God Almighty does not hear the prayer of a Jew,” Falwell gives a similar view. “I do not believe,” he told reporters, “that God answers the prayer of any unredeemed Gentile or Jew.” After a meeting with an American Jewish Committee rabbi, he changed course, telling an interviewer on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that “God hears the prayers of all persons…. God hears everything.”
July 1984: Falwell is forced to pay gay activist Jerry Sloan $5,000 after losing a court battle. During a TV debate in Sacramento, Falwell denied calling the gay-oriented Metropolitan Community Churches “brute beasts” and “a vile and Satanic system” that will “one day be utterly annihilated and there will be a celebration in heaven.” When Sloan insisted he had a tape, Falwell promised $5,000 if he could produce it. Sloan did so, Falwell refused to pay and Sloan successfully sued. Falwell appealed, with his attorney charging that the Jewish judge in the case was prejudiced. He lost again and was forced to pay an additional $2,875 in sanctions and court fees.
October 1987: The Federal Election Commission fines Falwell for transferring $6.7 million in funds intended for his ministry to political committees.
February 1988: The U.S. Supreme Court strikes down a $200,000 jury award to Falwell for “emotional distress” he suffered because of a Hustler magazine parody. Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist, usually a Falwell favorite, wrote the unanimous opinion in Hustler v. Falwell, ruling that the First Amendment protects free speech.
February 1993: The Internal Revenue Service determines that funds from Falwell’s Old Time Gospel Hour program were illegally funneled to a political action committee. The IRS forced Falwell to pay $50,000 and retroactively revoked the Old Time Gospel Hour’s tax-exempt status for 1986-87.
March 1993: Despite his promise to Jewish groups to stop referring to America as a “Christian nation,” Falwell gives a sermon saying, “We must never allow our children to forget that this is a Christian nation. We must take back what is rightfully ours.”
1994-1995: Falwell is criticized for using his “Old Time Gospel Hour” to hawk a scurrilous video called “The Clinton Chronicles” that makes a number of unsubstantiated charges against President Bill Clinton — among them that he is a drug addict and that he arranged the murders of political enemies in Arkansas. Despite claims he had no ties to the project, evidence surfaced that Falwell helped bankroll the venture with $200,000 paid to a group called Citizens for Honest Government (CHG). CHG’s Pat Matrisciana later admitted that Falwell and he staged an infomercial interview promoting the video in which a silhouetted reporter said his life was in danger for investigating Clinton. (Matrisciana himself posed as the reporter.) “That was Jerry’s idea to do that,” Matrisciana recalled. “He thought that would be dramatic.”
November 1997: Falwell accepts $3.5 million from a front group representing controversial Korean evangelist Sun Myung Moon to ease Liberty University’s financial woes.
April 1998: Confronted on national television with a controversial quote from America Can Be Saved!, a published collection of his sermons, Falwell denies having written the book or had anything to do with it. In the 1979 work, Falwell wrote, “I hope to live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won’t have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!” Despite Falwell’s denial, Sword of the Lord Publishing, which produced the book, confirms that Falwell wrote it.
January 1999: Falwell tells a pastors’ conference in Kingsport, Tenn., that the Antichrist prophesied in the Bible is alive today and “of course he’ll be Jewish.”
February 1999: Falwell becomes the object of nationwide ridicule after his National Liberty Journal newspaper issues a “parents alert” warning that Tinky Winky, a character on the popular PBS children’s show “Teletubbies,” might be gay.
September 2001: Falwell blames Americans for the 9/11 terrorist attacks. “The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the Pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say, ‘You helped this happen.’”
November 2005: Falwell spearheads campaign to resist “war on Christmas.”
February 2007: Falwell describes global warming as a conspiracy orchestrated by Satan, liberals, and The Weather Channel.
Link
28908. Wombat - 5/16/2007 8:50:15 PM At Slate, Christopher Hitchens unloads on Falwell as only an erudite Engllishman can. 28909. jexster - 5/16/2007 9:07:44 PM I don't give that sanctimonious drink-soaked fake as much as a hit...against my religion
Death to Judaizers!
January 1999: Falwell tells a pastors’ conference in Kingsport, Tenn., that the Antichrist prophesied in the Bible is alive today and “of course he’ll be Jewish.” 28910. jexster - 5/16/2007 9:43:22 PM Tinky Winky says bye-bye to Jerry Falwell
The former TV star recalls the trauma of being called gay by the conservative preacher
28911. wonkers2 - 5/16/2007 10:05:11 PM Falwell was a skunk.
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