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5984. arkymalarky - 10/22/2007 6:50:05 PM arky, what is "AP" as in "AP English"? I had thought Alexander Pope, but then I realised you'd never do that to students you were fond of unless you intended to follow such a course with intensive therapy.
Haha! I wouldn't do that to myself. ;-) It's advanced placement. If they pass a standardized test at the end of the course they get college credit. 5985. arkymalarky - 10/22/2007 7:15:57 PM arky, what is "AP" as in "AP English"? I had thought Alexander Pope, but then I realised you'd never do that to students you were fond of unless you intended to follow such a course with intensive therapy.
Haha! I wouldn't do that to myself. ;-) It's advanced placement. If they pass a standardized test at the end of the course they get college credit.
If this is a double, please excuse. 5986. Seamus - 10/26/2007 10:46:44 PM Thanks, arky, for the explanation.
Well, I've got hay for brains...I've scratched the haywain itch and here's how I'm putting it to rest for now:
Hay wagons at sunset
All day, cathedrals have grown
out of blocks of hay
from the second cutting.
Wheeled fortresses
ring the dusking fields.
Thick with the shaved and seated,
the nearest moans low
under its mass—
that tester of bearings.
Deep, umbered ruts
join one parish of takings to next—
until they line at last behind the jutted arc
of far, haloed oak,
where bricks of sun
continue to assemble and rise
before a faith still bright. 5987. Seamus - 10/26/2007 10:51:10 PM I've also been working this one, posted not so long ago. It's tighter, but I don't know if it's tight enough yet. Although the liturgy is wound better, I'm still not satisfied with the end line, among other things. All criticisms appreciated.
Sursum corda
(for Conall)
Cultivo una rosa blanca
en julio como en enero
(from “Cultivo Una Rosa Blanca” by José Martí)
Footballs and ewe grass and summer sunlight
fill a white, high memory
I'm supposed to tend, along with you,
who laughed and looked up to me.
It is right that I should do this.
But my memories ochre over time.
They all go plumb in the end. And also with you:
We are in a pack-like preening
of brave bobs, flexing
with cigarettes and conceits
outside the sanctuary
of the cinema.
Someone claims an insider’s knowing
how black the furry baz grows
on that one’s growler
and someone else is oh didja catch
the brilliant diddies
on that coppernob?
You cried out, once,
from your wounds inside the sacristy.
I listened to the silence.
I'd rooted myself away in dark Dublin
to brood over books
in the lamps' round cheeses of light
when they lifted you up and cut you down
off the dying chestnut in the grey snow
across the wet lane from the rectory.
Under that tree
I'd often footed reckless balls.
You'd stop then skim them back--
a perfect two touch, passing,
like our voices,
over the green
and into the shadows.
Let me give thanks for warm grasses. 5988. wonkers2 - 10/27/2007 9:18:10 PM Nice! A few words are Greek to me--"diddies," "copperknob," "furry baz on one's growler." 5989. wonkers2 - 10/27/2007 9:23:57 PM growler=beer to go?
diddies=titties?
copperknob=? 5990. Seamus - 10/29/2007 5:12:31 PM Thanks, wonk. I appreciate that.
about the slang,
you are correct on "diddies"
"coppernob" is slang for a redhead
"growler" is a vulgarism for female genitalia
"baz" is a vulgarism for pubic hair
I'm intending that stanza to work in a way that doesn't actually require word-for-word knowledge of the irish slang...my aim is a flavour instead. An image of a group of teenage males hanging around in public, up to no general good. The talk in such a setting goes where the talk frequently goes.
The goal there is to keep the reader from "perfecting" the subject, which would be the tendency, but to see him (and the narrator) as "plumb"--as human. I am hoping to avoid having the poem falsify the subject by polishing it up. 5991. wonkers2 - 10/29/2007 6:25:44 PM Thanks for the translation. A fine poem, even better after the translation! 5992. NuPlanetOne - 10/30/2007 10:40:00 PM Seamus...that one evokes memories of one I wrote a few years back for/about the loss of my brother. Although, yours evokes quite a few more losses on a few different levels. When I read it the first time it appeared here, I thought, hmmm, he will be pleased with that one. It's fairly pretty much all done, even by your standards. I like it. Tons of good stuff in there.
5993. NuPlanetOne - 10/30/2007 10:40:39 PM At some point last year my daughter and I took it upon ourselves to stop in at Salem, Ma. We had time to kill, as one of my brothers lives not far from there. I had recently imposed upon her to read some Hawthorne and she loved it. No Rappaccinni's daughter her. (Plus I wanted to see the statue of Liz Montgomery, after all.) I have always lived within an hour or so of the place and have seen all the changes through the years. It is quite the trap now. Anyway, it was a weekday afternoon fairly close to Holloween, but not crowded. She challanged me to write some kind of epic poem in the style and language of Hawthorne, Poe, et.al. Being a rhyming fool, I took her up. So in the Halloween spirit I composed, over the next few months, most of a little contrivance I've entitled 'The Ascension of Rachel.' I swore to finish it by last week. It is raw, and has holes, but it had the desired result, I think. Cut and paste to http://freewebs.com/zeezo99xx. Click on Rachel. The lenghth of the damn thing demanded its own space. Let me know if it has the Halloween feel....
5994. Crafty Critter - 11/1/2007 2:25:22 AM Hi Seamus,
As Wonkers, I have a couple of questions about your poem "The Theory of Almost Everything". First, I'm not really sure what the poem is about ( not being a sarcastic here) but the codes you have in there totally have me stumped. Such as "Gtsmmor smf Ko;;, " and "[4e6e,
inching closer to Y_R. "...Can you enlighten me ? I also know that the word "jays" is used symbolically for several things, do you mind expounding a bit on this one for me ? Thanks, Crafty_Critter 5995. alistairConnor - 11/1/2007 2:55:20 PM Hullo Critter!
Just as a starting point, have a look at your keyboard. The F and J keys most likely have bumps on them. 5996. Seamus - 11/1/2007 8:18:57 PM Yes, thank you AC, that would be it.
I hope it is clear we aren't talking deep meaning here--that was a lark and I have been having fun with it.
In fact, the more I reflect on the title, the more I think it fits the arch overwroughtness of the whole thing. It takes itself seriously because it must, but I hope the reader isn't made to feel they must take it seriously. I most certainly do not. Other opinions welcome. 5997. wonkers2 - 11/1/2007 10:36:47 PM We need an annotated version like the Wasteland! 5998. wonkers2 - 11/1/2007 10:37:41 PM Seamus, check the video I just posted in the Movie Thread. I think it might be up your alley, so to speak. 5999. Seamus - 11/2/2007 5:04:49 AM Thank you, Nu. Of course, you know I had a big laugh because of this:
It's fairly pretty much all done, even by your standards.
Scary how well you know me, my friend.
BTW, that url you gave to your epic Halloween poem doesn't work for me. Am I missing something?
And wonk, I looked at that video. Thanks...I think. Looks like I've made a less-than-flattering impression if that's what my poem brings to mind ;) 6000. Seamus - 11/2/2007 5:05:39 AM The crown? woo? 6001. Seamus - 11/2/2007 5:14:00 AM I'd like to thank the Mote, the Mote Academy of Poetry, fellow lovers of poetry, and all my peeps, you know who you are ;)
arky, you are a true sport. thank you for this honour.
Hullo mom! 6002. arkymalarky - 11/2/2007 11:47:41 PM Yay! (confetti) Yay! 6003. Crafty Critter - 11/3/2007 12:00:51 AM Hi alistairConnor,
Thanks for responding. I wasn't sure of the codes here and it worried me because of the seeming heaviness of the lines. I know you can't respond FOR him, and as I said earlier, I wasn't trying to be mean or sarcastic, I was just trying to "understand it" a bit better from the author's view point. Thank goodness it wasn't what I had envisioned it to be which was a hatred of women or worse. Sorry for the confusion I suppose but with these lines
"In the beginning, I goosed those bumps
on Frannie and Jill
just to watch them die
Gtsmmor smf Ko;;,
but as you can see, even then
I couldn't completely erase them. "
to an untrained eye such as mine, you could see how I would suppose he was talking of ACTUALLY erasing them ? Kind of like a confessional thing. Anyway, thank you for being so kind to answer me Alistair. I appreciate your insight on the poem. I still don't understand the other coding ( if they have any meaning at all to them ) but oh well. I have enjoyed reading some of the work done here. Chao to all
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