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6412. thoughtful - 3/4/2005 8:53:40 PM Good article on resiliancy from Brody at the NYT.
Resilience. Call it what you will - the ability to weather stresses large and small, to bounce back from trauma and get on with life, to learn from negative experiences and translate them into positive ones, to muster the strength and confidence to change directions when a chosen path becomes blocked or nonproductive...
...provides lessons in "achieving balance, confidence and personal strength."
They are lessons of considerable importance, as there is no such thing as a life free of losses and setbacks. People who lack resilience are less able to rise above adversity or learn from their mistakes and move on. Instead of focusing on what they can control and accepting responsibility for their lives, they waste time and energy on matters beyond their influence.
As a result, the circumstances of their lives leave them feeling helpless and hopeless and prone to depression. When things go wrong or don't work out as expected, they tend to think "I can't do this" or, even worse, "It can't be done."...
So lesson No. 1, Dr. Brooks and Dr. Goldstein write, is "to recognize that we are the authors of our lives."
"We must not seek our happiness by asking someone else to change," they continue.
Rather, we should ask, "What is it that I can do differently to change the situation?" Identify your negative scripts and assume responsibility for changing them.
Nurture your self-esteem. Be true to yourself rather than trying to be what someone else expects of you. Focus on what you can do, tasks you can achieve, situations you can influence. Take an active role in your community or in an organization or activity that helps others.
6413. Magoseph - 3/5/2005 5:25:35 PM I am certainly for teaching resilience to our children. My parents had five and two of us decided to make our future without help from the family. As it happened, my brother and I did much better in life than the other three who depended on our parents’ help. Everything we obtained, especially character, came about from decisions we made and sometimes regretted--we had no choice but start over again when we faltered. We both had made a stand and never diverged from it. We now are all getting on in years and it is obvious that my brother and I are much happier and healthier than our other siblings seem to be. 6414. wonkers2 - 3/22/2005 5:04:49 PM Alzheimer's already costs Medicare three times as much as any other disease. By 2010, Medicare costs for people with Alzheimer's are expected to rise by 50 percent, to $49.3 billion from $31.9 billion in 2000. Now, half of all nursing home costs are related to dementia.
Here's how to avoid contributing to this problem. 6415. concerned - 3/22/2005 6:30:06 PM I wonder how unusual my cardiac health situation is - my blood pressure is currently varying between 140/85 and 160/100 which is too high (I'm not taking anything for it currently), but my resting pulse last night was as low as 46 and typically is in the 60's during the day. 6416. thoughtful - 3/22/2005 6:56:39 PM i don't know how unusual, but i would certainly get the high bp treated lest you have a stroke. Since your pulse is so slow, you might want to check out the DASH diet which has been shown to reduce bp significantly.
6417. wonkers2 - 3/22/2005 8:07:09 PM Absolutely you should get your high blood pressure treated. You are at risk for stroke and heart attack. It's nothing to fool around with. 6418. arkymalarky - 3/29/2005 3:13:55 AM Well, today was my last day of spring break. I go back to work tomorrow, then have to have follow-up tests on an abnormal mammogram Wednesday, schedule a hysterectomy Thursday (for sometime in April, I hope), and leave on a 14 hour drive to WV Friday morning from which I will return late Sunday night. I will probably be at work little to none from that point until the end of school, for the first time since I had Mose and took 8 weeks with her over 20 years ago.
Then I will worry about getting a root canal finished asap because the tooth broke off and all the medicine under the filling from the first half of the root canal came out a couple of days ago.
Once all this is done, I don't plan to leave Bob's recliner or put down the remote except to sleep and scratch until the end of May. 6419. robertjayb - 3/29/2005 5:20:15 AM Darn. so much for the good old summertime...
Good luck with all that. 6420. arkymalarky - 3/29/2005 5:33:45 AM Thanks Robert. Actually, I hope it helps me salvage the summer, since I have to get it all done now. 6421. thoughtful - 3/29/2005 1:55:26 PM Oh my...what a lot on your plate. Best wishes to you with all your upcoming medical events. Do keep us informed as to how you're doing. 6422. Magoseph - 3/29/2005 2:54:22 PM My heavens, how could I even begin to cope with such demands--all I can say is if anyone can get through this, it is my belief that it's you. Arky, If I can of any help or support, don't hesitate to call on me. 6423. arkymalarky - 3/29/2005 11:40:06 PM Thanks so much, Thoughtful and Mags. You're two reasons I love this place. I will keep you posted.
If the follow-up on the mammogram is like the others, it's a cyst, and that's the most likely culprit, though it's still very stressful going through more tests. WRT the hysterectomy, most of the women I've talked to seem almost excited for me, talking about how much better I will feel, so once I get through the early recuperation I'm looking forward to feeling good for a change.
I told the kids today that I wouldn't likely be finishing out the year and that my replacement would be the #1 boss--no one will be calling me and I won't be helping in any way. My replacement is fully certified. They're fine with it and very sweet about everything. I assured the seniors that I'd come to their graduation. 6424. wonkers2 - 3/29/2005 11:44:51 PM Tenga buena suerte, Arky! W2 & The Cap'n. 6425. arkymalarky - 3/29/2005 11:49:12 PM Gracias to you both!
In fact, I told my Mexican student pal (not exchange or Mexican-American, which he is very quick to point out--and I have others, but he's been my student several times over several years) that I'm going to try to use some of my down time to pick back up the Spanish. Since he's a senior I don't know that I'll get a chance to practice on him, for which I'm sure he's grateful. ;-) 6426. judithathome - 3/30/2005 3:22:30 PM Watch the Spansih soap operas while you're in Bob's big ol' recliner. 6427. thoughtful - 3/30/2005 3:44:06 PM My mother had a hysterectomy done vaginally. So naturally, given her sense of humor and mine, we had a good laugh coming up with all the warnings signs she could write on herself for the doctor.
Caution Slippery When Wet
Remove Sunglasses in Tunnel
Low Clearance
No Outlet
6428. RickNelson - 3/30/2005 4:22:27 PM concerned, regarding 6415. My blood pressure has been a concern for some few years now. I've steadily increased meds to try and lower it. Mine has hovered at 150's/90's for most of that time. It's just now starting to come down with the newest dosage. A high 40 milligrams of Linsinopril and 10 of that water pill, hyd... something. My damn LDL was at 273 and now I'm on a cholesterol lowering drug too. The doc. said I have this in my family history so it was inevitable that I would take meds for it. I have tried to watch my diet, most of the time. I'm even better now. Weight is still a problem and some more exercise is helping.
How are you doing? 6429. thoughtful - 3/30/2005 4:48:38 PM Rick, how heavy is your diet in carbohydrates? 6430. RickNelson - 3/30/2005 4:57:46 PM moderate thoughtful. I've cut back on anything that isn't whole grain with the exception of occassional spaghetti. I will eat a potato once in a while. I eat mostly chicken for meat, sometimes beef and pork. I eat almost no egg yolk, but will consume as much egg white as I wish, along with fresh mushrooms. I like some ketchup and non-hydrogenated spread for my toast. I also use Splenda if I want to sweeten something.
I think I've been good for a diet, but my exercise has suffered because of winter, and I don't have machines at home, nor inspiration to bring my 9 mos. old to a gym. I have however, set up a weight bench and once in a while give my arms a working over. I think more of that will be a good thing.
6431. Magoseph - 3/30/2005 5:19:24 PM <... I eat almost no egg yolk...>
May I ask why you don't eat egg yolks?
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